Is alcohol the key to hooking up with women?

[somedude81]

From what I've read about, many women don't develop feelings for a guy till after they've had sex or made-out. And of course, it seems very unlikely for one to get a woman to sleep with a man without her having feelings for him first

 

So is that where booze comes in? She gets drunk and horny, has sex and then a relationship starts?

 

Is that what I've been doing wrong, not trying to get girls I know drunk?

[TheBigQuestion]

Getting chicks drunk is totally the classy way to get in their pants.

 

Seriously though, if you're in a social situation where alcohol is already a social lubricant, I say go for it. Consciously trying to get a girl drunk so you can make out with them and/or have sex with them is more than a little creepy. And this is coming from a retired frat dude.

[somedude81]

Getting chicks drunk is totally the classy way to get in their pants.

 

Seriously though, if you're in a social situation where alcohol is already a social lubricant, I say go for it. Consciously trying to get a girl drunk so you can make out with them and/or have sex with them is more than a little creepy. And this is coming from a retired frat dude.

Creepy or not, I'm willing to try something new if it has a chance of working.

 

And just in case somebody brings it up, I'm not talking about getting somebody totally wasted. Just enough where she might think differently or have her inhibitions lowered.

 

Either way, looking at this forum, I keep seeing posts by women about how their relationship started after they hooked up, and alcohol was involved.

[ptp]

From what I've read about, many women don't develop feelings for a guy till after they've had sex or made-out. And of course, it seems very unlikely for one to get a woman to sleep with a man without her having feelings for him first

 

So is that where booze comes in? She gets drunk and horny, has sex and then a relationship starts?

 

Is that what I've been doing wrong, not trying to get girls I know drunk?

 

No dude, that is wrong.

 

You are treading on thin ice with this kind of behavior.

[lostcharm]

Is this some sort of unfunny joke?

[AD1980]

Alcohol was involved the one time i was with a women, my friends wifes best friend ..we went back to the couples house after a night at a bar and she bascially jumped on me on their couch.. ended up sleeping over the couples house..[make out no sex i saw she was pretty drunk]

 

I tried textign her for a few days after to hang out i was so happy a womne was into me i thought but she didnt respond till days later saying please do not tell anyone what happened and that it was mistake because she was extremely drunk..

 

So while i got something out of it technically in reality it just killed my confidence even more to see the reaction of a girl who woke up and realize what she did with my ugly ass and how disgusted she was with herself..

[jerbear]

Alcohol can reduce one's inhibitions and loosen some people. After a few drinks even I would consider some women that I normally wouldn't have given the time of day.

 

The sex then a relationship forms is from oxytocin.

[Negative Nancy]

if you take advantage of a woman while she is drunk she can accuse you of rape the next day and the consequences might be very unpleasant for you. just sayin'

[OliveOyl]

I would say no, it's not the key. My BF doesn't drink at all.

[Citizen Erased]

None of my relationships started that way, but I was never the fooling around type of person. Starting a relationship on drunk fuelled lust may work for some, but I doubt it's long lasting for most people.

[bardo]

i wouldnt suggest it on purpose....it wont work really.

 

the times i have hooked up with guys drunk at their place,

was only when i wanted to already when i was sober.

 

at a bar if youre drunk its completly different, because you can leave or walk away at any time.

but even then, if it was someone i wouldnt kiss sober, the next day i usually woke up and thought 'eww why''

[Emilia]

From what I've read about, many women don't develop feelings for a guy till after they've had sex or made-out. And of course, it seems very unlikely for one to get a woman to sleep with a man without her having feelings for him first

 

So is that where booze comes in? She gets drunk and horny, has sex and then a relationship starts?

 

Is that what I've been doing wrong, not trying to get girls I know drunk?

 

There was a thread last week about a guy saying how he struggled with women in clubs and bars because after getting their number they would never respond to his calls a couple of days later. A huge number of people regret what they do while drunk, especially women.

 

In London Friday nights are popular amongst single people in their 20s who are out getting drunk looking to get laid. I have seen almost obese dudes with pretty and completely wasted girls, no idea whether they managed to close the deal though.

 

However, only a few of these encounters end up as relationships, I had one that started as a one night stand and we ended up dating but we fancied each other sober as well

 

Drinking in public and talking to girls is fine especially if they are not alone. Getting a woman drunk in your house and getting her into bed will result in rape allegations.

[ffw]

There's a thin line between morality & immorality. Now, the question is who is going to decide for you? The answer is yourself.

 

The main question you should ask yourself is "how far/low you are willing to go to get into a girl's pants?"

[oaks]

From what I've read about, many women don't develop feelings for a guy till after they've had sex or made-out. And of course, it seems very unlikely for one to get a woman to sleep with a man without her having feelings for him first

 

So is that where booze comes in? She gets drunk and horny, has sex and then a relationship starts?

 

Is that what I've been doing wrong, not trying to get girls I know drunk?

 

Somedude, I really can't decide if you're serious or not so, if you care to read, you'll get both types of answer...

 

 

There's a middle ground, for some people, in which alcohol lowers some inhibitions without the person being drunk or otherwise incapable of making a decision or giving consent.

 

As for your first paragraph - I think you have the logic slightly wrong. Some women develop feelings or attachment to a man if they have sex with him, and if they do that too soon before they've worked out if he's a jerk then, oh dear, they have feelings for a jerk. Some women have learned that this isn't a good turn of events, so they try to not have sex with you until they've decided you're not a jerk.

 

 

 

With the woman I'm currently seeing, we were both sober the first time we made out. How awful that must've been for her, to not be drunk. Oh no! Poor girl! I should've made it easier for her by getting her drunk first.

[somedude81]

My inspiration for the thread is this post.

 

Why'd you hook up if you thought he was an unappealing geek?

 

It was my first impression of him. We met through mutual friends and he would flirt with me; my friends would point it out and all I'd say was "He's awkward!" Then one night we were all at a frat party, we got drunk...you can guess the rest.

 

------

 

Does it sound like something wrong or that she regrets or that she was taken advantage of?

 

As I said, that's the not first time I've heard that story from a woman about how a relationship started.

 

It seems that a lot of the time, the woman liked the guy, but for whatever reason, didn't let herself do what she wanted to. I'm not going to bother asking why that is, as I'm sure it varies from woman to woman.

Edited November 11, 2011 by somedude81

[oaks]

Does it sound like something wrong or that she regrets or that she was taken advantage of?

 

It doesn't, and there sounds like a difference between "we got drunk" (as reported by the woman) and "trying to get girls drunk" (what you said).

[Taramere]

Very dodgy path to go down, I'd say.

 

I remember being on a date with a guy I'd met the week beforehand, and feeling incredibly woozy even though I'd only had a couple of drinks. He had bought both rounds (wouldn't let me buy a round). We were walking along the road, him trying to persuade me to go back to his, and I was having trouble focusing on walking.

 

I said something about how drunk I felt, and he smirkingly said that he'd bought trebles. Hadn't I noticed how strong the drinks were? At that point I saw a taxi with its light on, flagged it down and shut the door in his face. To me, deliberately giving a woman drinks that have a much higher alcohol content than she realises isn't far off slipping something into her drink while she isn't looking. Albeit, he confessed...but only when he thought I was too legless to flag down a taxi and get the hell away from him.

 

Of course there's nothing wrong with a man offering a drink to an adult woman he is hoping to have sex with, provided she knows what's in that drink and he isn't mixing it in a way that will get her extremely drunk very quickly.

 

Creepy or not, I'm willing to try something new if it has a chance of working.

 

And just in case somebody brings it up, I'm not talking about getting somebody totally wasted. Just enough where she might think differently or have her inhibitions lowered.

 

There isn't always much alcohol involved in the difference between somebody's inhibitions being lowered and them becoming completely wasted. I think it would be very dicey for you to regard yourself as being a good, objective judge of how far down the path to being wasted a woman you want to sleep with might be.

 

Ultimately, alcohol is an intoxicant...and one that has played a role in many rape allegations, and also in convictions. No doubt it plays a role in the development of lots of relationships as it's a common feature of nights out and socialisation. However, you're talking about a very calculated approach towards using alcohol as a tool in seducing a woman. I think it would be irresponsible for anybody to condone that.

[phineas]

i wouldnt suggest it on purpose....it wont work really.

 

the times i have hooked up with guys drunk at their place,

was only when i wanted to already when i was sober.

 

at a bar if youre drunk its completly different, because you can leave or walk away at any time.

but even then, if it was someone i wouldnt kiss sober, the next day i usually woke up and thought 'eww why''

 

Pretty much this.

 

Even if a woman is attracted to a guy, she might not act on it because of what her friends say, possible people in common, work, ect. Booze really just gets them over those inhibitions.

 

So, those booze-sluts you see at the bar's going home with a different guy every weekend, their really just sluts who use booze as an excuse for doing that.

[Beachgirl8]

Do you drink alcohol? just curious

 

To answer your question:

 

Going to a party, or a bar, or on a date and having a drink while socializing = fine.

 

Giving a girl alcohol with the sole intention of molesting her = super creepy and potentially criminal

[aj22one]

 

Does it sound like something wrong or that she regrets or that she was taken advantage of?

 

As I said, that's the not first time I've heard that story from a woman about how a relationship started.

 

It seems that a lot of the time, the woman liked the guy, but for whatever reason, didn't let herself do what she wanted to. I'm not going to bother asking why that is, as I'm sure it varies from woman to woman.

 

I think you'll find that many people have less than ideal starts to their relationships. Alcohol can be that "push over the hump" so to speak. But other factors can come into play too.

 

I think using alcohol as a social lubricant is not a bad idea. That being said, I don't drink alcohol at all, so I've never used iit in this way.

[zengirl]

Does alcohol ever help two people connect? Sure. It's a social drug.

 

Is using it with that intention healthy? Probably not. And it seems kinda skeevy the way you put it.

 

I don't think that just because a girl is drinking (not blackout drunk), it's a BAD idea to make a move. I mean, if she's chosen to drink and seems relatively lucid, what's the problem? Most people drink socially. But intentionally getting a girl drunk so she'll like you is both sad and skeevy. And probably won't work. Unless you get her so drunk she doesn't know who you are and/or it would've worked anyway.

 

Anyway, I never started a relationship with drunk making out, but I'm sure someone did.

[verhrzn]

I've had a drunken first kiss a few times in my life, so I won't immediately cut you down for your battle plan.... the problem is, you have the logic all wrong.

 

Girls need to ALREADY have feelings/an attraction for a guy that for some reason they are nervous about acting on (they're shy, they think he's bad news, he hasn't shown an interest in them, they're morally opposed to being sexually forward, the list goes on.) Alcohol gives the girl lower inhibitions AND a handy excuse if things should go wrong ("Oh well, I was drunk") so they can forfeit responsibility.

 

I have no idea where you get the idea that girls only develop feelings AFTER they've had sex with a guy. I'd say that for most women sex STRENGTHENS feelings, but it makes no sense that a girl would say "Oh I don't like him at all, let me sleep with him" and then suddenly afterwards," OMG I LUUUVV HIM!"

 

I'm.... bemused?... that you actually think this is somehow the path to get girls (instead of improving your confidence and getting the heck out of school, as other people have advised), but if you're really so desperate you think preying on drunk girls is somehow gonna get you laid (or a relationship! that part is particularly bizarre) well.... your life, I guess. My personal opinion is that down that path lies nothing but ruin and drama.

[aj22one]

I've had a drunken first kiss a few times in my life, so I won't immediately cut you down for your battle plan.... the problem is, you have the logic all wrong.

 

Girls need to ALREADY have feelings/an attraction for a guy that for some reason they are nervous about acting on (they're shy, they think he's bad news, he hasn't shown an interest in them, they're morally opposed to being sexually forward, the list goes on.) Alcohol gives the girl lower inhibitions AND a handy excuse if things should go wrong ("Oh well, I was drunk") so they can forfeit responsibility.

 

I have no idea where you get the idea that girls only develop feelings AFTER they've had sex with a guy. I'd say that for most women sex STRENGTHENS feelings, but it makes no sense that a girl would say "Oh I don't like him at all, let me sleep with him" and then suddenly afterwards," OMG I LUUUVV HIM!"

 

I'm.... bemused?... that you actually think this is somehow the path to get girls (instead of improving your confidence and getting the heck out of school, as other people have advised), but if you're really so desperate you think preying on drunk girls is somehow gonna get you laid (or a relationship! that part is particularly bizarre) well.... your life, I guess. My personal opinion is that down that path lies nothing but ruin and drama.

 

My personal opinion is that if you avoid "ruin and drama" completely, you probably have a less than fulfilling sex life. Not that you always want to have those things, but they're sort of naturally occurring things when you have an active sex life.

[carhill]

My data points so far indicate women plus alcohol plus sexual behavior equal alcoholism, where such behaviors are situational. IOW, the women who have come on to me while drinking have had two things in common: One, they were/are all married/LTR. Two, when sober, their personality and actions changed completely. The sampling is small, under ten, but the patterns appear remarkably consistent. I offered one data point in my journals. As a control, I have a recent data point with a single female friend who is a confirmed (by her own admission) alcoholic who repeatedly did not engage in any sexual behaviors whatsoever even when essentially falling down drunk. Would I wish to 'take advantage' of such a situation? IDK, but my track record for 52 is 'no'. I just don't see the health in it.

 

To the OP, I would recommend not using alcohol as part of the process of meeting/engaging a healthy and compatible woman. However, it's great to enjoy while socializing or occasionally while posting on LS

[grkBoy]

We can talk badly on it, but it's amazing how many guys do this...and succeed.

 

The reason why many women do not cry "rape!" is that they still see it as they willingly put out. The alcohol lowered their insecurities and defense mechanisms, and the guy simply took advantage of that moment.

 

I've known women, hot women, who tried forming relationships with guys they drunkenly made out with or even slept with. Part of the rationale I think is the oxytocin that kicks in, but I also think these women want it all to be more than just a drunken night.

 

After sleeping with the guy, her inhibitions to reject him are lowered or gone, and thus she's willing.

 

I'd like to add too that this doesn't work for everyone, and I don't see it as "rape", but simply coercion. If it was a guy giving a girl a roofie and then banging her unconscious or near-unconscious body...then it's rape. In most of these cases, the girl did think the guy was cute in some ways, and the alcohol made her horny. He just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

 

I'm not making assumptions here, but I've had to pick up a few female friends in my life who ended up in these scenarios. Usually she met the guy and wouldn't date him when sober, but after enough alcohol she accepted his offer to crash at his place in downtown (since she lives in the burbs). They get there and he's all over her. She doesn't say no, and is reluctant at first, but then caves in and goes for it.

 

The next day she's a little embarrassed, but doesn't believe it's rape.

 

 

My company holiday party comes up in January. Every year there's always stories of coworkers getting sloshed and sleeping together.

 

I think the trick is that alcohol lowers people's guards and inhibitions. I don't condone actual rape, but I will say it's easier to get a "yes" out of an inebriated girl than a sober one who's got all her insecurities in front of her.