Is alcohol the key to hooking up with women?

[Disillusioned]

From what I've read about, many women don't develop feelings for a guy till after they've had sex or made-out. And of course, it seems very unlikely for one to get a woman to sleep with a man without her having feelings for him first

 

So is that where booze comes in? She gets drunk and horny, has sex and then a relationship starts?

 

Is that what I've been doing wrong, not trying to get girls I know drunk?

 

Be a gentleman. Take her on a date to AA. :lol:

[grkBoy]

Heh, so it can be an aphrodisiac.

 

Now I need to start thinking of dates I can do where alcohol can be involved.

 

Stuff like going to the aquarium, or bowling or to the beach are fun but they've never resulted in anything happening beyond a hug.

 

Well, I'd probably tell you simply that when you think you both might go "all the way" to take her to something where drinks happen. She'll loosen up and thus not be scared/worried/insecure.

 

I don't think it's ideal to just get a girl drunk in the hopes she'll put out sooner.

[Beachgirl8]

Originally Posted by Beachgirl8

Do you drink alcohol? just curious

 

To answer your question:

 

Going to a party, or a bar, or on a date and having a drink while socializing = fine.

 

Giving a girl alcohol with the sole intention of molesting her = super creepy and potentially criminal

I only drink on very rare occasions. I hardly ever go out. But I have a couple bottles in my apartment.

 

How creepy is offering a girl some wine or a mixed drink instead of soda when she's watching a movie at my place?

 

And do you really think I'm the kind of guy that can "molest" a girl?

 

 

No I don't think that at all. I didn't realize before this thread that you hadn't been in situations where you were having a drink with a woman. I think because you are in college I assumed the opposite.

 

Some people have taken issue with the way you phrased the question in the OP, and they have a point- I personally think you totally understand that and didn't mean for it to come across as creepy or whatever.

 

I'm actually a little surprised you haven't been trying to go to keg parties or trivia nights or other social events where alcohol is present. It never occurred to me you weren't doing these things. I thought you were, and just werent having luck with the young college girls. But since that's what you are striving for at the moment, get out there and socialize! I think that would be much easier than getting a girl back to your apartment on her own to have drinks. I can't imagine a girl accepting that offer unless she is already comfortable with you as just a friend, or already intends on hooking up with you.

[aj22one]

No.

 

Best sex of my life happened well after I ditched the drama. Is still happening, actually. Settled sex can be brilliant--effort is the key, not sturm und drang.

 

"After you ditched the drama" implies that you did have to go through drama first, which is what I was getting at. If you never have drama (which you then ditch) it usually means you weren't putting yourself out there in the first place.

[aj22one]

Originally Posted by Beachgirl8

Do you drink alcohol? just curious

 

To answer your question:

 

Going to a party, or a bar, or on a date and having a drink while socializing = fine.

 

Giving a girl alcohol with the sole intention of molesting her = super creepy and potentially criminal

I only drink on very rare occasions. I hardly ever go out. But I have a couple bottles in my apartment.

 

How creepy is offering a girl some wine or a mixed drink instead of soda when she's watching a movie at my place?

 

And do you really think I'm the kind of guy that can "molest" a girl?

 

 

No I don't think that at all. I didn't realize before this thread that you hadn't been in situations where you were having a drink with a woman. I think because you are in college I assumed the opposite.

 

Some people have taken issue with the way you phrased the question in the OP, and they have a point- I personally think you totally understand that and didn't mean for it to come across as creepy or whatever.

 

I'm actually a little surprised you haven't been trying to go to keg parties or trivia nights or other social events where alcohol is present. It never occurred to me you weren't doing these things. I thought you were, and just werent having luck with the young college girls. But since that's what you are striving for at the moment, get out there and socialize! I think that would be much easier than getting a girl back to your apartment on her own to have drinks. I can't imagine a girl accepting that offer unless she is already comfortable with you as just a friend, or already intends on hooking up with you.

 

SD81, read this post. And then read it again. This is right on the money.

[Negative Nancy]

somedude has proven himself to be pretty selfish with his post. it sounds like he wants to stick it in somehwere at all cost, regardless of the girl involved. that almost CAN be classified as "date rape".

 

somedude, since i like using analogies so much as they tend to get the point across better between the different perceptions of our genders, how would you feel knowing that a new male friend of yours is in reality some gay dude that's interested in you and invites you for a game night while planning to make you drunk as f*** and then make his move on you...not so good, eh?

 

(at first i wanted to use the "ugly fattie" analogy, but you said you'd be happy about ANY girl's interest, so I had to use a more drastic example.)

 

or maybe i misunderstood your intentions of your thread and you did not mean that you plan on bringing a girl over and make her drunk and then take advantage of her.

Edited November 11, 2011 by Negative Nancy

[dasein]

somedude has proven himself to be pretty selfish with his post. it sounds like he wants to stick it in somehwere at all cost, regardless of the girl involved. that almost CAN be classified as "date rape".

 

That flat out stinks. Totally unnecessary to histrionically try to paint somedude or any other poster here as some potential date rapist in the making. Do you think a date rapist would even be posting here or asking people's opinions? Thoroughly disgusting attitude.

[Negative Nancy]

women who come on here complaining about cheapskates who don't pay for their date get crucified as well, so don't gimme the "holier than thou" speech.

[verhrzn]

That flat out stinks. Totally unnecessary to histrionically try to paint somedude or any other poster here as some potential date rapist in the making. Do you think a date rapist would even be posting here or asking people's opinions? Thoroughly disgusting attitude.

 

He would if he was completely clueless/selfish.

 

Getting a girl drunk with the sole intention of sleeping with her because she won't sleep with you sober... you don't see that as being *just a little* ethically questionable?

[fortyninethousand322]

He would if he was completely clueless/selfish.

 

Getting a girl drunk with the sole intention of sleeping with her because she won't sleep with you sober... you don't see that as being *just a little* ethically questionable?

 

There's a whole lot of people who are "ethnically questionable" out there then. And by a "whole lot" I mean like 90%+.

[dasein]

women who come on here complaining about cheapskates who don't pay for their date get crucified as well, so don't gimme the "holier than thou" speech.

 

They get called gold-diggers, not rapists, doesn't surprise me that you are incapable of understanding the difference.

 

Getting a girl drunk with the sole intention of sleeping with her because she won't sleep with you sober... you don't see that as being *just a little* ethically questionable?

 

What a convenient distortion. "just a little ethically questionable" and rape are quite different things. I don't see many male posters around here directly accusing female posters of being criminals or criminals in the making, yet female posters do it with regularity. It's just another symptom of the hyperprivileged attitude of women today. They are used to saying any old thing they want, no matter how disgusting or vicious, and having it accepted wholesale without question.

 

Have seen female posters here question, "where is any misandry here? I don't see it." Well there it is. An obviously inexperienced guy sees women out getting drunk, acting like sailors, going around with with their ankles behind their ears, and wonders if he should try to get in on that social dynamic. But of course, HE'S the bad guy, I see. The underlying bad attitude about men and shifting all possible blame to men is blatant.

[fortyninethousand322]

What a convenient distortion. "just a little ethically questionable" and rape are quite different things. I don't see many male posters around here directly accusing female posters of being criminals or criminals in the making, yet female posters do it with regularity. It's just another symptom of the hyperprivileged attitude of women today. They are used to saying any old thing they want, no matter how disgusting or vicious, and having it accepted wholesale without question.

 

Have seen female posters here question, "where is any misandry here? I don't see it." Well there it is. An obviously inexperienced guy sees women out getting drunk, acting like sailors, going around with with their ankles behind their ears, and wonders if he should try to get in on that social dynamic. But of course, HE'S the bad guy, I see. The underlying bad attitude about men and shifting all possible blame to men is blatant.

 

I think it goes hand in hand with the general disdain many women (not all obviously) have for inexperienced men. You see it repeatedly. If a guy is having trouble with women, always something he's doing, or isn't doing, or is doing but should do better. When it's a woman in the same shoes, it's always something the men of the world are doing wrong, never the poster.

 

If he watches porn, he's horrible. If a guy approaches random women, he's horrible and creepy. If he approaches women he's befriended or who he's comfortable with, he's sneaky and backhanded. Women don't respond to him on online dating, well there's obviously something wrong with him.

 

I could go on forever.

[Negative Nancy]

They get called gold-diggers, not rapists, doesn't surprise me that you are incapable of understanding the difference.

 

no, crucified for TAKING ADVANTAGE of a person. different words for it, different actions, but same motivation behind it in both cases. doesn't surprise me that you are incapable of understanding the difference.

 

taking advantage of a drunk woman and trying to f her in that state is like taking an advantage of a drunk man and stealing his money. pretty low-life in both cases.

Edited November 12, 2011 by Negative Nancy

[dasein]

I think it goes hand in hand with the general disdain many women (not all obviously) have for inexperienced men.

 

Agree with that. IRL, have noticed an interesting tendency in several women I've gotten to know well enough that they let their guard down. One memorable example was a woman I was dating several years back and I were eating in a restaurant. There was a very short guy nearby. My GF begin to act like she was going to vomit and was getting completely bent out of shape, angry even, about the guy's height, as if his mere existence and shortness was an affront to her very being. I was completely embarrassed and thankful the guy didn't notice. Have noticed similar reactions other times, and it is completely puzzling, why someone's mere existence or looks could be a source of such deep disdain. It's as if part of the rejection process in their minds is not a thought process, but a visceral reaction with hostile elements. I have seen it in men too, but only young teenage boys near puberty age. The woman in my example was over 30.

 

No idea whether this explains some of the reactions to inexperienced men here or not. The stock answer will be that these men have been given the same advice over and over, and the negativity against them is part of a perception that they aren't listening. I don't buy this as being all there is to it.

[Yamaha]

My guess is he's got a girl in mind to try it out on and she is/was his friend.

 

WHo knows? Maybe she'll get relaxed and you can put the moves on her.

[Cypress25]

I don't see it as "rape", but simply coercion.

 

Unfortunately, the law does see it as rape, since an intoxicated person cannot legally consent. It would really suck if the girl wakes up next to you and decides to press charges.

 

And coercion is pretty bad too.

 

From what I've been told, having sex with a guy really kicks off a girls feelings towards him.

 

Who told you that? A girl needs to have feelings for a guy before having sex with him. Otherwise, why would she have sex with him? Having sex might intensify her feelings of attachment, but that's only if she had feelings for him in the first place. Women don't usually sleep with guys they don't have feelings for.

 

Hmm, so alcohol does make women horny?

 

Alcohol makes women stupid. It makes everyone stupid. Ever heard of "beer goggles"? That's what a drunk girl is wearing when she decides you're really hot. How would you feel if she woke up the next morning, looked at you without beer goggles, and was horrified at what she'd done? Would that improve your confidence?

 

Besides, it doesn't make everyone horny. It makes some people tired. It makes some people angry. It makes some people sick. Haven't you seen Super Bad?

[somedude81]

No I don't think that at all. I didn't realize before this thread that you hadn't been in situations where you were having a drink with a woman. I think because you are in college I assumed the opposite.

 

Some people have taken issue with the way you phrased the question in the OP, and they have a point- I personally think you totally understand that and didn't mean for it to come across as creepy or whatever.

 

I'm actually a little surprised you haven't been trying to go to keg parties or trivia nights or other social events where alcohol is present. It never occurred to me you weren't doing these things. I thought you were, and just werent having luck with the young college girls. But since that's what you are striving for at the moment, get out there and socialize! I think that would be much easier than getting a girl back to your apartment on her own to have drinks. I can't imagine a girl accepting that offer unless she is already comfortable with you as just a friend, or already intends on hooking up with you.

As made apparent in my other thread, I don't have much of a social life. So no, I haven't been in situations where I was having drinks with women. Which is probably a big reason why dating life has been so bad.

 

I keep hearing about how people hook up in college, and from what I gather, alcohol is the key. There really isn't any point in trying to date girls hoping that they'd fall for me. Apparently, things just don't work that way in the real world.

 

BTW, I don't even know how to get into that social environment where people are drinking together.

Who told you that? A girl needs to have feelings for a guy before having sex with him. Otherwise, why would she have sex with him? Having sex might intensify her feelings of attachment, but that's only if she had feelings for him in the first place. Women don't usually sleep with guys they don't have feelings for.

Go take a look at post 15 of this thread.

 

There is your proof. I'll you want me to, I'll find more stories of women who started dating a guy after they had sex and only had sex because she's been drinking.

 

Alcohol makes women stupid. It makes everyone stupid. Ever heard of "beer goggles"? That's what a drunk girl is wearing when she decides you're really hot. How would you feel if she woke up the next morning, looked at you without beer goggles, and was horrified at what she'd done? Would that improve your confidence?

I seriously doubt that would happen.

[doushenka]

"After you ditched the drama" implies that you did have to go through drama first, which is what I was getting at. If you never have drama (which you then ditch) it usually means you weren't putting yourself out there in the first place.

 

But the drama didn't get me where I needed to be. It got me everything I didn't want. I had one drama-free *cough* exploration session with a guy, which was fun but had to end (I'm not kinky enough) and it did, amicably. Every other ending was, coincidentally, with a little boy of a man who thought that dragging things out into, yes, drama was a great way to convince me to stick around!

 

Yeah, no. And they were, also coincidentally, also really bad at the whole "women" thing. It only proved to me that my instincts (look for calm, confident, and genuine) were accurate. It didn't teach me much, except that apparently I shouldn't date within three to five years of my age. Thankfully, that's less problematic now I'm 25, but at 18, the choices were... limited. Loneliness leads to desperation leads to shoving instinct aside in favor of a "maybe". It's not just men who need to be calm, confident, and genuine. I'll freely admit that. I'm ashamed of those of my gender who act like brats and pant after jerks. I especially hate it when we pull out the histrionics, because if it doesn't work to keep us in relationships, why should we expect it to work to keep a man around?

[doushenka]

Agree with that. IRL, have noticed an interesting tendency in several women I've gotten to know well enough that they let their guard down. One memorable example was a woman I was dating several years back and I were eating in a restaurant. There was a very short guy nearby. My GF begin to act like she was going to vomit and was getting completely bent out of shape, angry even, about the guy's height, as if his mere existence and shortness was an affront to her very being. I was completely embarrassed and thankful the guy didn't notice. Have noticed similar reactions other times, and it is completely puzzling, why someone's mere existence or looks could be a source of such deep disdain. It's as if part of the rejection process in their minds is not a thought process, but a visceral reaction with hostile elements. I have seen it in men too, but only young teenage boys near puberty age. The woman in my example was over 30.

 

Really? She was over 30 and acting like she was 13, and all because of some bloke's genetics? Wow, that's one to ditch, especially if she wasn't supermodel material herself. That she did these things in public is even worse; I've been known to wonder why a man was with a particular woman (twice; one was certifiable and the other a likely Jersey Shore reject). Ms Certifiable only got the rough side of my tongue when she lit into me in public, and as for Snooki of the North, at least she makes him happy. I can wonder all I like in private about that pairing, but it'd be utterly classless to do so in a manner that might hurt either of them. It's one of the few times I find it appropriate to mask one's feelings on a subject.

 

You're well shot of her.

[Ross MwcFan]

Sorry if this has already been mentioned. But why not try looking for intmate encounters on dating websites?

[Art_Critic]

Is alcohol the key to hooking up with women?

 

I always thought the key was duct tape

[Woggle]

Isn't this considered rape? When I was single I just stayed the hell away from women who were too drunk to even function.

[Art_Critic]

Isn't this considered rape? When I was single I just stayed the hell away from women who were too drunk to even function.

 

Yes woggle.. it can be considered rape to have sex with a woman who is very drunk

[fortyninethousand322]

Isn't this considered rape? When I was single I just stayed the hell away from women who were too drunk to even function.

 

It doesn't sound like he's trying to get some girl totally sloshed/blacked out. Nothing wrong with using alcohol as a tool for hookups, if it's done right.

[zengirl]

Isn't this considered rape? When I was single I just stayed the hell away from women who were too drunk to even function.

 

Yes. And universities, which the OP attends, generally have policies even stricter than the law. Technically, if you have sex with someone who has ANY amount of alcohol in their bloodstream, by most university standards, without basically having written, notarized consent, you could get slapped with university violations if they report it as unseemly conduct. Most people don't pay any attention to such codes, as they're RARELY brought up, BUT when brought up, they are almost always successful.

 

And yes, men get the short end of the stick in terms of proving innocence in the Uni system; it's not really like in court where you have to prove guilt.

 

So: watch it!