lost and confused

[lostnconfused]

Never did I think I'd find myself posting on a message board like this but after reading thru the threads for words of wisdom/advice I thought I'd take a chance and see what kinds of response I recieved. Be nice

 

I guess the best way to describe myself would be the other man. I got involved with an unhappily married woman, I know stupid me, anyway this relationship has grown over the last 8 months into an emotional not sexual (yet) relationship. We both have agreed not to sleep together until she gets her divorce. We both are in love with each other and we feel as many others on this board have felt I guess, that we are perfect for each other, ment to be together forever etc etc. She has 2 children, comes from a divorced family herself and that is why she has yet to file for divorce. She says she knows that it will end she knows she should not stay, she no longer loves her husband and never will again, however she continues to stay for her children's sake however she says it will not be forever she just has yet to do anything about it Grrrr. She hates that she is putting me thru this waiting however here I am still waiting. Only recently in the last few weeks have I really started to think about ending things and telling her that we cannot continue to do this with things like they are, however I dont want to put her in the position of choosing him or me, I'm simply not that type of person as I feel she needs to come to that conclusion herself. When this all started I said I would give it 6 months (I told myself this I've never told her). I'm confused and really at a loss for what to do. I truly believe this is my soul mate and that we would have that happily ever after relationship however dang it I wish she would get on with things and end it already. lol wishfull thinking on my part ? Maybe, maybe not I truly believe her when she says things will work out and that we will be together, I guess I'm just losing my patients, do I stay, do I go, Uggghh what a mess. Any words of advice or widom are appriciated as long as they are constructive no flames please.

[bluechocolate]

It doesn't have to be a decision for her to make between her husband & you.

 

If she is truly unhappy in her marriage & not in love with her husband then she is not doing anyone good by staying, including her children, and I'm sure she realises this.

 

You have to make decisions for yourself first. If you cannot wait any longer & don't want to get involved with a married woman (which you know you shouldn't) then you can tell her to get in touch when her divorce is final. That is not the same as saying that she has to make a choice between her husband and you. It is saying that you have a life to lead & a life that you need to be in control of & responsible for. What about your aspirations? Do you want to have children of your own one day? You can't hand over your life to someone else & just wait for them to make a decision one way or another. Of course the risk is that you never hear from her because she never goes through with the divorce, but surely it is better to get on with your life now than to be found still waiting in 1 year, 2 years .............