too much too soon?

[Braemars]

Hi there all you nice people! K, here's my story. I recenlty went out on a first date with this guy I met about a month or so ago. He seems like a good guy; friendly, talkative, smart, cute...ect. I do have a BUT, as you may have guessed. My BUT is the following: he called me last night and sort of...well...poured his heart out to me. He said he really would like to get to know me, and be with me and tat he feels that he needs me in his life. Yeah, so I was totally shocked by this confession because it came so soon. I want to be with someone also but I like to take my time, to really get to know people before I give myself to them as a girlfriend. Should I be concerned about his forwardness? My girlfriends think he's a little freaky ans that I should be carefull that he's not just looking for ANYONE to be with, not just me. I hope he's not looking for just any girl to be with, cause I'm not just any girl. What should I do about this? Thanx for your time.

[Jenna]

Your instincts are good here- as well as your friends'- it is soooo not the "norm" to express your deep feelings for someone after only the first date- why you ask?? Because normal people don't HAVE deep feelings for someone after the first date!! This guy doesn't even KNOW you- how could he be that attached so soon? He may very well mean what he said about wanting to "be" with you- so he is trying to appeal to your senses. What he doesn't realize yet- (because he doesn't know you well enough) is that you are smart enough to figure him out. If it were me- I would not continue this- I mean DAMN! He just took all the fun out of it anyways- by removing any mystery!! Do you know anything about him? Is he a friend of a friend? If so- you may want to do some snooping to see if he is infact a weirdo. If you don't know him- and don't have anyone to ask- BE AFRAID- BE VERY AFRAID!! Listen to your friends- they are looking at him from the perspective of the passer-by, you are looking at him through rose colored glasses. If one of your girl-friends came to you with this same exact story- what would you tell her??

 

(that's what I thought)

 

Good luck with this one! Jenna

Hi there all you nice people! K, here's my story. I recenlty went out on a first date with this guy I met about a month or so ago. He seems like a good guy; friendly, talkative, smart, cute...ect. I do have a BUT, as you may have guessed. My BUT is the following: he called me last night and sort of...well...poured his heart out to me. He said he really would like to get to know me, and be with me and tat he feels that he needs me in his life. Yeah, so I was totally shocked by this confession because it came so soon. I want to be with someone also but I like to take my time, to really get to know people before I give myself to them as a girlfriend. Should I be concerned about his forwardness? My girlfriends think he's a little freaky ans that I should be carefull that he's not just looking for ANYONE to be with, not just me. I hope he's not looking for just any girl to be with, cause I'm not just any girl. What should I do about this? Thanx for your time.

[Tony T]

This guy hasn't learned yet that coming on too strong too soon is a real turnoff. There is no way he can tell from one or two meetings if he wants you in his life over a long period.

 

If you want, let him know you don't mind getting to know him better but also let him know EXACTLY how you feel about his fast approach. Somebody needs to tell him. Also let him know how you feel about guys being too clingy, too nice, etc. Let him know in a general way so he doesn't feel it's aimed at him.

 

Everybody likes to feel they are really special and obviously you don't because he came on so quickly, revealing feelings that most people take months to acquire. If he doesn't pose a bit of a challenge, or gets feelings for you way too fast, it's likely it'll turn you off and you'll have to dump him. He's probably a nice guy but he knows nothing about women at all. Teach him a little.

 

If you think you can tame this guy down, give it a whirl. If you feel he has already played too many of his cards and you're not even interested in seeing if you are interested, just write him off. No sense in wasting your time or his.