Friendship or love?!?

[alwaysbelieve]

Alright. Im finally happy that I get to post something. I hope you all will read it. Comment too.

 

So, I had a TERRIBLE first relationship Like completely terrible, worse than anything ever even imaginable I stopped trusting people after that, I pushed away friends, basically I sort of completely ruined my life. I got into self harm and everything else. I sucked that point of time. I never completely forgave that guy, even though i tried to, a lot, but I just couldnt.

 

Anyway, after about an year of this, after 16-17 cuts on my wrist(I got into cutting), there finally came a guy who touched me in a way that was beyond imaginable. This guy was funny, cute, caring and extremely genuine.

 

We became the best of friends. And he spilled everything about his life to me and I did the same. I trusted and trust this guy impeccably.

 

Now, I fell in love with him. One fine day he comes up to me and says, Im in love with you too.

 

I was happy, like really happy. But sad at the same time too.

 

Basically, this guy is a flirt. Like he flirts with every 2nd girl he sees. He says that i'm going to stop now, and the day I stop, I'm going to ask you out, but its like, he gets really attracted to a girl really fast, then gets over her equally quickly.

I trust him. I know he will try, but yet still I dont know.

 

He is really attractive and I'm like pretty average. He has friends that expect him to date a much hotter girl. That is also a concern for my self esteem. I mean I have guys running after me, but I'm not that kind of person.

 

I really like this guy, but then, look, I don't have enough strength in me left for a relationship where the other guy cheats. I trust him, yet how can i not be doubtful? I mean, he is incredible, but at the same time, its like I have failed and failed and failed in love Don't want that to happen again.

 

Another issue: I dont know wether its infatuation or not. Either from his side or mine. Thats again an issue. If someone can help me out with that.

 

Lastly, I dont want to spoil our friendship. We do realize, while talking many a times that we are awesome as best friends. Yet both our hearts want more.

 

He is not serious and I am really serious about relationships in general. He says he is serious about this one, but himself admits that its weird. Both of us falling for one another.

 

Another thing I am concerned about. I dont want his sympathy. If its sympathy because of a failed relationship and me being broken, I dont want THAT. I love him but as they say sometimes, love isnt enough.

 

Plus, its the career building time of our lives, I dont know. A relationship might ruin that.

 

Please tell me what to do. Will a relationship work? Should I get into one?

 

Please PLEASE help.

[doushenka]

Emotionally, it sounds like he's too young for you. Wait until someone who can actually love you and commit to you comes along. It's not a fun wait, but in the meantime, you can focus on your career--and who knows? Maybe you'll meet someone in your field!

 

Best of luck.