How can I just let go of my ex? It's been 3 years since the break up, I found out she

[health]

How can I just let go of my ex? It's been 3 years since the break up, I found out she's a wreck.

 

We were together for 5 years and 4 months.

 

Lately I got a new job and have been under so much stress.

 

That's when I get triggered.

 

Look what I did - I fantasized about her, looked at her photos etc etc..

 

Now I found out she's working at a very seedy place. I'm all in her business and she doesn't even know. She has a new boyfriend and I've been stuck in the past.

 

Since the break up - I quit smoking, I coped, I cried, I dated 3 other girls, I got promoted, new job etc.

 

She said I treated her like crap and she was sad.

 

I just learned she's on anti-deppresants and anti psychotics now.

 

It's killing me cause I feel like this girl that I loved more then anything is going down the worst path ever.

 

I keep finding out about her and there's nothing I can do.

 

I feel like such and idiot having this happen almost 3 years since we broke up.

 

I hate this, I want to move on. I just can't find any girls I like. I've been single for pretty much the 3 years.

 

How do I let go of her?

[sedgwick]

It's been 4.5 years since the breakup for me. Unless you count one phone call from him a year after we broke up (I told him I still loved him, but couldn't be his friend, then hung up on him), it's been NC the whole time.

 

But I still love him like the day he left. I haven't dated at all in the time since we split. Haven't even kissed anyone. At this point, I'm just resigned to still loving him and being alone. I still say goodnight to him every night (by which I mean I say it out loud to myself; I don't contact him), and pretending helps a little.

 

There's more to life than dating. Sure, I'm lonely, but that's just my lot in life. It's possible to survive without them while still loving them.

[wilsonx]

How can I just let go of my ex? It's been 3 years since the break up, I found out she's a wreck.

 

We were together for 5 years and 4 months.

 

Lately I got a new job and have been under so much stress.

 

That's when I get triggered.

 

Look what I did - I fantasized about her, looked at her photos etc etc..

 

Now I found out she's working at a very seedy place. I'm all in her business and she doesn't even know. She has a new boyfriend and I've been stuck in the past.

 

Since the break up - I quit smoking, I coped, I cried, I dated 3 other girls, I got promoted, new job etc.

 

She said I treated her like crap and she was sad.

 

I just learned she's on anti-deppresants and anti psychotics now.

 

It's killing me cause I feel like this girl that I loved more then anything is going down the worst path ever.

 

I keep finding out about her and there's nothing I can do.

 

I feel like such and idiot having this happen almost 3 years since we broke up.

 

I hate this, I want to move on. I just can't find any girls I like. I've been single for pretty much the 3 years.

 

How do I let go of her?

 

Stop focusing on her... Focus on yourself... This is the only way... It doesnt matter what shes doing...

 

This is dangerous for you mentally get into strong NC, do not let anyone talk to you about her. My friends will get punched in their face, both men and women if they even mention my ex's name. That's the deal.

 

Get professional help? Join a mindfulness/meditation class? Focus on you