Nosey,controlling mother causing stress

[notsure_21]

I'm in my mid 20's and my mom thinks she has a right to know all my business. She thinks she needs to go to any appointments with me and just basically isn't shy about trying to get info on me any way possible. She even interrogates my fiance whenever he isn't around me. She thinks I need to tell her when I leave MY house, where I'm going and when I get back. "Because it's a safety issue." I agree to a point, but my fiance and I check in with each other through out the day. I don't feel like it's her place anymore. She is constantly texting and calling me through out the day. Every day. Most of it is because she doesn't have a life. When she does have something to do or someone else to talk to she completely ignores me.

 

For example 2 yrs ago I woke up and must have slept wrong because my neck hurt so bad that I couldn't move. I called her over and over. She called me 4 hours later to tell me she was busy.

 

So I honestly don't believe that this is just a concerned mother. I believe she just needs someone to talk to or someone else's business to talk about.

To make matters worse I just found out that I am pregnant and she has been causing me serious stress! This morning before 11 am she has sent me 14 texts messages asking: What we're (meaning me and my fiance) doing today? What we're having for breakfast? If we're picking up his daughter and so on. I only answered her 5 times...It didn't stop her. I just don't know what to do with her. The big problem is I have a sister that still lives at home who she likes to hold over my head so I can't just tell her to butt out or believe me I would have! Anyone else have this problem? Or have advice?

[setsenia]

I know a lot of mothers like yours and that must be totally annoying! My mother has that whole safety issue thing too and it drives her nuts if I walk anywhere alone and I agree there are safety measures...to a point. Your mother might have the best intentions at heart, but you might want to consider sitting down with her and talking about how you feel. Let her know that you are an adult now and almost married. It sounds like you have to set some limits with her as far as being too involved in every move you make. We also have that convenience issue with my MIL also. She can be pretty nosy about stuff like our jobs, but she will only want us in her life at her own convenience.

[HLP234]

My mother is the same, actually both my parents are like that. I'm also in the mid twenties and it is annoying. Now that she has to rely on me to do everything because my dad and her are divorced, I feel like every time I need to do something for her if I don't do it, she will scold and tell me I am bad son that she did not raise me like this. Its annoying and it will never stop, especially with foreign parents. They do have good intentions but they don't get that once you are older you and them need to have some space.

[ErgoStep]

...I honestly don't believe that this is just a concerned mother. I believe she just needs someone to talk to or someone else's business to talk about.

To make matters worse I just found out that I am pregnant and she has been causing me serious stress! This morning before 11 am she has sent me 14 texts messages asking: What we're (meaning me and my fiance) doing today? What we're having for breakfast? If we're picking up his daughter and so on. I only answered her 5 times...It didn't stop her. I just don't know what to do with her. The big problem is I have a sister that still lives at home who she likes to hold over my head so I can't just tell her to butt out or believe me I would have! Anyone else have this problem? Or have advice?

 

Your mother is excessively clingy. Think of her as an ex-boyfriend.

 

I would consider changing your phone number and blocking her on facebook.

 

Yes, I'm serious. Your mom needs to butt out of your life.

 

Your social responsibility is to the guy who gave you the ring.

 

I'm still trying to sort out what is going on with your sister. Perhaps you want to continue friendship with the sister but not the mother. Or maybe this is too complex.