Just one more 'other woman'

[Pyrannaste]

kiababy,

 

Hi there.

 

I guess we were very alike in high school.

I was skinny, no tits, awfully shy, nerdish-looking (with glasses too), spent all my free time reading, wore bad looking clothes, and I didn't go out a lot either.

Both my parents were overprotective and would let me out of the house perhaps once a week on saturday, with curfew 7.00 pm. Twice a week in summer. My first date was at 21.

 

And now, like you, I am thinking that it's finally my turn.

I am very much more self confident now, and I am proud of how I am changed.

 

What I'm most proud of is that I can afford the luxury of having *my own boyfriend*.

I think that people who are constantly going after people married to someone else, have HUGE relationship problems.

 

Dating someone else's husband is too easy: competing with women that have not the "greener grass on the other side of the fence"kind of charm, that have to do housework, who have kids to raise while you always meet your lover at your best, with hair done and best lingerie on, is not fair competition.

You don't have to put up with the man's jerkish or rude or bad behaviour, because that's for his wife. You get his best sides with ease.

 

Do you think you are prettier, smarter, more attractive than other women beacuse you can get their men? No way. If a married man cheats on his wife with you, it does not mean necessarily that you are gold, it only means that he's a cheating jerk. You are not special, because had it not been you, he could have cheated on his wife with someone else.

 

Why don't you blame the wives of these men who don't give their husbands what they need....or become frumpy, miserable, screaming, banshees who drive their men away.

 

Men can discuss problems instead of acting like rabbits and having affairs to escape a relationship.

Also, it would be great to hear the other side...the wives.

Behind a miserable banshee sometimes there is a rude jerk.

 

 

And ladies...get your butts into the gym, out jogging, on rollerblades or on your bike with your man!!!! That's where I meet most of my men - they're out there working out and getting healthy while you sit on the phone and gossip....or whatever it is women do.

 

oh...I get it now. you don't really regard yourself as a woman.

So the interesting question is: who the hell do you think you are?

[kiababy]

Vivian, thank you very much for your thoughts - you're the type of woman I never seem to meet in real life - undertanding and thoughtful. Actually your post made me cry a little because I identify with your comments about your parents. My mother too would tell me constantly that I was a bad girl and I was going to die.

 

You know something? I would never ever consider a man who's wife I knew personally (I know that does not excuse my behaviour). My comfort level depends on me never actually seeing or meeting the wives. And I prefer not to talk about them and certainly never have anything bad to say about them. It may seem like I do but I don't. I was married once. I'm sure they have their own crap to deal with.

 

I have to admit too: as perfect as I make my married guy out to be....I sure as heck would not like to be his wife and have to go pick him up from a bar when he's out drunk with his buddies at 3:00a.m..........I couldn't stand it. wow - where did THAT come from......?

[VivianLee]

Originally posted by Pyrannaste

kiababy,

 

Hi there.

 

I guess we were very alike in high school.

I was skinny, no tits, awfully shy, nerdish-looking (with glasses too), spent all my free time reading, wore bad looking clothes, and I didn't go out a lot either.

Both my parents were overprotective and would let me out of the house perhaps once a week on saturday, with curfew 7.00 pm. Twice a week in summer. My first date was at 21.

 

And now, like you, I am thinking that it's finally my turn.

I am very much more self confident now, and I am proud of how I am changed.

 

What I'm most proud of is that I can afford the luxury of having *my own boyfriend*.

I think that people who are constantly going after people married to someone else, have HUGE relationship problems.

 

Dating someone else's husband is too easy: competing with women that have not the "greener grass on the other side of the fence"kind of charm, that have to do housework, who have kids to raise while you always meet your lover at your best, with hair done and best lingerie on, is not fair competition.

You don't have to put up with the man's jerkish or rude or bad behaviour, because that's for his wife. You get his best sides with ease.

 

Do you think you are prettier, smarter, more attractive than other women beacuse you can get their men? No way. If a married man cheats on his wife with you, it does not mean necessarily that you are gold, it only means that he's a cheating jerk. You are not special, because had it not been you, he could have cheated on his wife with someone else.

 

 

 

Men can discuss problems instead of acting like rabbits and having affairs to escape a relationship.

Also, it would be great to hear the other side...the wives.

Behind a miserable banshee sometimes there is a rude jerk.

 

 

 

 

oh...I get it now. you don't really regard yourself as a woman.

So the interesting question is: who the hell do you think you are?

 

Good Post Gal!! I couldn't agree with you more, in fact I envy that you were able to put it to words in such a way! Good luck to you and "your own boyfriend"...not only do you look good on the outside....you are more beautiful inside where it counts!!

[VivianLee]

Originally posted by kiababy

Vivian, thank you very much for your thoughts - you're the type of woman I never seem to meet in real life - undertanding and thoughtful. Actually your post made me cry a little because I identify with your comments about your parents. My mother too would tell me constantly that I was a bad girl and I was going to die.

 

You know something? I would never ever consider a man who's wife I knew personally (I know that does not excuse my behaviour). My comfort level depends on me never actually seeing or meeting the wives. And I prefer not to talk about them and certainly never have anything bad to say about them. It may seem like I do but I don't. I was married once. I'm sure they have their own crap to deal with.

 

I have to admit too: as perfect as I make my married guy out to be....I sure as heck would not like to be his wife and have to go pick him up from a bar when he's out drunk with his buddies at 3:00a.m..........I couldn't stand it. wow - where did THAT come from......?

 

It hurts for a girl to not have her Mama's approval doesn't it?? I'm so sorry for that you suffered that also...now it's amost as harsh as mine but please read Pyrannaste post....she knows more from where you come from....there's some good questions and advice....you can reach that level by just making the right choices....(advice coming from me, a person that made some bad ones!!).....

 

Where did that comment about your married guy come from? It came from a strong woman that knows what she wants....no more of another woman's horny seconds.....you are good enough for your own guy, that will love you not just for what he sees working out and jogging but a person that cares and is intelligent....

 

Remember, you are a Mama now...you can make up for what you didn't get from you Mama by lavishing it on your child!! You are strong now, not that scared little girl that needed her Mama's approval...just seek your approval from the right venues....and makes some chick friends....cause I've got to tell you, as long as the house is clean, your kids are seen to, your man is seen to and you exercise at least 3 times a week and watch what you eat...GOSSIPING ON THE PHONE IS SOOO FUN!! I'm for real!!