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Poll: how did you feel when contacted by your ex?


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How did you feel when you receive a note or text or whatever form of contact from your ex?

 

How many of you are happy about it? How many of you wish he/she had left you alone?

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it makes me happier overall, when she doesn't for a week or so I get sad. But when she does it lets me know she still thinks of me and wants me.

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it makes me happier overall, when she doesn't for a week or so I get sad. But when she does it lets me know she still thinks of me and wants me.

 

Are you working toward a reconciliation? Or are you just happy that she's in contact?

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After the BU, I got happy birthday texts for the next couple of years. That did not make me happy because they were generic greetings. I wanted the special way he used to greet me on my birthday.

 

After a couple of years, I knew he forgot my birthday except a mutual friend reminded him, then he sent his greetings, but of course that did not make me happy because I knew he had to be reminded.

 

2 or 3 years after the BU, I sent him a special occassion text, and expected to get a plain thank-you. But he sent me something special, and if I wanted to read between the lines, it seemed to say he missed me. I suppose this was my cue to reel him in but instead the blood went to my feet.

 

All in all, it's best they leave you alone. But if this is a friend you want eventually when your heartbreak is over (it does end), then don't burn bridges. For now, I'm tickled he showed signs of wanting me back. But I wouldn't have returned to get my heart broken again.

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At first I felt relieved that he still thought about me. After awhile I got bored of the messages and felt annoyed even frustrated. It were the usual messages: happy birthday, happy new year, 'How are you?', 'Do you want to meet up for coffee?', 'I still think about you'.

 

Was it a selfish gesture from him to text me ? Was he feeling alone and just wanted someone to respond back ? Eventually, I never responded afterwards. He got the message I think. In the back of my mind, I still think I should have been more proactive and should have responded to his messages. But why should I have done that ? To get heartbroken again ?

 

In the end, yes, I rather would have wished he left me alone.

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perfectlyflawed459
How did you feel when you receive a note or text or whatever form of contact from your ex?

 

How many of you are happy about it? How many of you wish he/she had left you alone?

 

He broke NC the other day. He actually ditched his "girlfriend" and approached me at a party the other day just to ask me my opinion on his music and such. I kept it very short then left him hanging, he just kind of stared at me for awhile. He tried to approach me again but I walked away before he could. I don't know what to make of all this because I was sure he liked that girl, so now I am a little confused and I think about him a lot. It was a pleasant surprise because it shows that he hasn't forgotten about me and it possibly missing me deep down, which is good because I would ilike to reconcile with him one day. I am still going strong with NC though and being positive :) because I am in no position to talk to him...it still kind of hurts. But I am curious as to why he cared so much to ask my opinion and try to talk to me...I miss him to pieces and I love him so much, but right now this time is about me and healing from all this. He is going to have to wait till I am ready to talk to him again

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http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t306651/

 

Initial response: Wanting to throw up, and my hands wouldn't stop shaking.

Next response: Being so unsure, not wanting to do something I regretted.

Final response: Doing what was right for me, and wanting to fly to Philly just so I could run up those steps Rocky-style and punch my fists in the air :)

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My ex called me out of the blue 4 months after he dumped me. It completely threw me for a loop. Within 2 hours, he was at my place. We had a closure talk that essentially lasted 2 days. I felt better after.

 

I still miss him, I saw him the other day for dinner. It's funny how it's easier for us to communicate NOW, after we're not together anymore than it was when we were in a couple.

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How did you feel when you receive a note or text or whatever form of contact from your ex?

 

How many of you are happy about it? How many of you wish he/she had left you alone?

I get insanely irritated. To the point that I changed my cell number to stop receiving texts from him. The last attempt to contact me was through his mother a few months ago. He had some things of mine that he wanted to drop off to me. I shut that down immediately. Told her he could mail them to me. I didn't want to see him. She ended up giving me my things herself, but not before I gave her an earful about what a lousy human being her son was.

 

It's been a year and a half and he still tries to weasel his way in. It's like same sh*t, different year. Time to move on dude.:rolleyes:

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I know there are those of you who would rather see you ex fall off the face of the Earth than contact you and that's your choice.

I just wish I were as lucky as some of you though. At least your ex contacting you shows that at one point in your relationship they had to have felt SOMETHING for you. Imagine 10 years of your life spent with someone who could care less if you lived or died? I would give my right arm if my ex would send me just a simple "Hi", but I'm not even worth that effort.

I just wanted to give my opinion on the question of contact being good or bad. In my case, with the lack of contact, the hurt I feel now is so deep, i will never recover from it.

All the best to the survivors of broken relationships. May you rally and come back better than ever.

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perfectlyflawed459
I know there are those of you who would rather see you ex fall off the face of the Earth than contact you and that's your choice.

I just wish I were as lucky as some of you though. At least your ex contacting you shows that at one point in your relationship they had to have felt SOMETHING for you. Imagine 10 years of your life spent with someone who could care less if you lived or died? I would give my right arm if my ex would send me just a simple "Hi", but I'm not even worth that effort.

I just wanted to give my opinion on the question of contact being good or bad. In my case, with the lack of contact, the hurt I feel now is so deep, i will never recover from it.

All the best to the survivors of broken relationships. May you rally and come back better than ever.

 

I am sorry to hear that :( You are right...maybe two wrongs don't make a right. But at the same time, well at least in my case, I am still hurt by him ya know? So it is hard for me to pretend I am hunky dorey and just talk to him like nothing happened. Yea he did approach me and give an effort, and yea maybe I should have been more accepting of him, but at the same time I want to prove to him that I don't need him to be happy and I want him to realize he made a mistake. I guess the question is, when is it right or wrong to accept an ex's attempt to reach out to you?

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