Seventh Circle of Hell

[Makavelli]

Alright this is a fat ass story if that is what it is deemed as. I will start with my story and the layout of events from there, this is my way of coping I guess nothing seems to work, sometimes I even feel like a puppet and some giant invisible person is pulling my strings for fun. Hear me out.

 

I met this girl online, we clicked pretty nicely this is back in 2008. I got her number we talked, txted, eventually grew feelings for each other, strong ones. So strong in fact that I planned to move to the state she lived in to be with her. After a year of talking to her on the phone every night, exchanging pictures and what not, and txting I moved in October of 2009.

 

We were very happy together, Had a few arguments here and there but for the most part we were perfect for each other. I took her out all the time, was there for her emotionally, always was there in everyway. It was hard to because when I moved I had 500 dollars to my name that was all. I even lived at a hotel for a few months and looked on Craigslist to try and find a job.

 

I eventually started making alot of money, and started being wise about alot of things. I pushed myself so hard because I loved this girl so much, the first time in over 20 years I felt like my life was going to actually be good. When I first met her she was 22 and I was 24. Im now 27 and shes 25. We did so much I can't list it all... im going to get to the point.

 

Eventually she ended up moving an hour away, and during the month of October it has been very stressful. Since she moved into the middle of nowhere from the vibrant city of Dallas, TX her attitiude seemed to deem into a deep depression. She was a city girl stuck in a landscape of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

 

She gets real depressed.. no job... her father had to sell her car for money... no friends (same here since I moved) ... but she lives with her cousin, which is another female and there like friends. I visited every chance I got I drove the 80 miles to see her I didn't care because I LOVE her. I paid for her cell phone and her bill, for over 2 years, I have helped er try to find jobs, I even offered to help her get a vehicle.

 

I wanted to help her and I wanted to see her happy. Well for some reason October 18 rolls around. That last sentence didn't make sense but **** it I will keep going. 2 weeks prior to the 18th, something didn't feel right. She seemed real distant... something was off, would hardly call me. NO THERE IS NO ONE ELSE 100% SURE TRUST ME SO THATS NOT IT .

 

That month was bad.. I was going through Surgery, change of job location, moving into a new place against my will... I was overloaded... was having heart palpitations.... It was chaos....

 

I maybe told her about it and I guess she didn't want to hear it to much because on the 18th she dropped the bomb on me via txt message. Turned the phone off, give the phone to her mom who gave it to me. I gave it to he brother to use... ONLY to try and keep a line of communication open and pray someday I will get a response from her on it.

 

Its been a month now and I have heard nothing at all, I have mailed letters... I haven't seen her or heard anything. 4 years of loving, caring etc. gone in a TXT message. The same day she broke up with me I had a car accident, speeding ticket, and Iwas kicked out of the house I lived in because it was sold to another individual. I was lin Hell. I still am .

 

1 month now and not a word.... WHY>? Why not send me a bad letter back saying **** off or something or leave me the **** alone? I don't even get that. My life sucks... I work, i work out every day... Not a soul to talk to all my friends from St. Louis have moved on with there own life, I lost 38 pounds in a month lol I weight 198 and im 6 ft 1 inch.

 

I want her back she wont even give me a chance to talk to her.. I got bored looked on a dating site. got some girls number in 20 minutes and started txting her since last night. I know its not good its a REBOUND. She says im very cute? Is that a way of saying im some hideous chet or something? Lol Ill continue this later

[Rorschach64]

Okay man, we already talked about what might have happened and what you should do. If you don't recall then I will repeat myself

 

Stay NC....reflect on yourself and who you were in the relationship, eventually you will start seeing red flags and go "Oh gosh darn it (I would be more vulgar but whatever) that's why she was like that!" Etc etc.

 

Now with this dating thing you got going on, clearly your self esteem is in the pooper--that's a no go man, you are still hung up and hurt from your ex. Now logically speaking you are most likely set yourself up to be viewed as weak and another victim in this possible new relationship you are setting yourself up in. Then there is the possibility that you will vent all your frustrations, self image issues, and other issues on this new girl and turn in to a total jerk.

 

Do you really want to make another person suffer because of what your ex did to you? Do you really wanna be THAT guy?

[Makavelli]

Your right man I really don't, no one deserves that, I will stand my ground until I can pick myself up. Ill work on myself like I have been doing, something good has to eventually happen.