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The toxic brother again.........


Vesna

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I wrote about my suspicions about my brother and I thank everyone for their feedback. Suspicions not withstanding, the more I get to know my bro the more I dislike him. He is bitter, conceited and hateful to anyone who is not like him (he sees himself as superior).

 

The things he has said to me in the last few months indicated that he does not like me either. Firstly I was dissappointed and hurt but now I see him as the one with a reality defect, not me. He has frequent parties which he invites me to, only to tell me that they have been cancelled. I then hear from someone that the party was a success and wondered where I got to.

 

Everytime I open my mouth to speak, he cringes in case what I say might be unintelligent or too ordinary. I am afraid to laugh in his presence in case the source of my mirth might actually be something serious (to him). He won't take me anywhere and I am not a dumb person. When we are in other people's company I feel like I have to censor everything about me, such is his unreasonable anger and embarassment at my so-called ordinariness.

 

I am aware that this kind of behaviour usually comes from someone who hates themselves intensely and they take pleasure in projecting it onto someone supposedly dumber and weaker than themselves. Well I am not dumb.

 

Another thing; since he broke up with his extremely sheltered wife, he only associates with damaged people now.

 

OMG I am disappointed that the last possible family member I could get on with is now a hateful bastard and see the sense in a comment I read on another thread which goes something like "if they were not a family member, would you have anything to do with them?"

 

Blood is not thicker than water. Without me in his life he will be devoid of the one last victim who he can betstow hatred onto, usually in a covert way. His kids can seek me out when they are older, that is if he hasn't brainwashed them into avoiding and forgetting me.

 

He is just like our father who committed suicide when we were kids, thus ending years of emotional and physical abuse. I wish him all the happiness in the future.

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He is who he is, and we wouldn't change unless he wants to.

 

That said, you shouldn't be around anybody who makes you uncomfortable or who does not respect you. Not being around your brother seems like it is better for your general emotional/mental wellbeing.

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