Potential LTR girl

[AwptiK]

Some of you may have seen some prior threads of mine, but here's some backing before my story:

 

(for too long / didn't read, skip to the last few paragraphs, I would still LOVE advice)

 

I'm 20. This girl is 22 and a mother of a 2-year old. We're coworkers. She's only been a single mother since August. That's when her and I started talking and when she left the boy's father (something she intended on doing when she could support herself anyway). When we started talking, we agreed to go slowly, on the basis that she has so much going on with taking care of her son, that she can't put her 100% into having a relationship. Fine by me.

 

August was a great month, things progressed and progressed. We did move a little quicker than she wanted, so we stepped back. September we were basically just friends , I played my cards well and she slowly made more and more effort to talk to me. Things built back up again, but we stepped back...again. This isn't just her, it's our conflicting goals. Simply, I want a relationship and i'd like to treat things as if they were. I ended September with a very frustrated text I sent her, in which I was pretty mean.

 

October, started out rough... we were barely even friends, because of what I said. But in time, things came back around and we talked more and more, and more. One day like the third week into October, we were talking on the phone while I was at work and I told her I missed her. I said I didn't want things to change now, because i'm sure she still isn't ready, but I said I wanted to be "that guy" when she was. I also stated that because of what happened in our past, I was much more chill with the things going on (something I think appealed to her greatly...because i've always slipped into AFC at times). She was fine with this idea.

 

Ending October into November, things did change. We started talking nearly every day, via text. I see her 2-4 times a week at work and we always talk there. Again i've played things well, I won't talk to her unless she texts first and sometimes if i'm going to see her at work, I won't text her back. She always responds by bringing it up immediately upon seeing me, "You didn't text me back", stuff like that.

 

November itself... turned very FB-oriented. I don't know how it started, but one day we were just heavily flirting via text. The following day I saw her and she was slightly physical (as much as you can be at work around other people constantly). After she left work, the flirting continued. It was all just constant sexting. I played along and teased and whatnot, and she flatout said she was going to **** me in my new car. Then we talked about actually doing these things on a more serious note, continuing all through the following day (Friday) too. We talked on the phone at one point and I said something about hanging out and she said "Do you mean...?", which I didn't expect..I wasn't thinking about it THAT much. Friday ended amazingly, we exchanged goodnights before she was going to give her son a bath and head to bed. She texted again later saying she was going to masturbate to a story i'd sent her earlier. Lead to another goodnight exchange, then again and hour later, she texted again saying, "You could've done better than I did just now ;)" and more talking, into another goodnight. Also, one point, as much as we talk like this, I do say things and talk about things more than sex, because i'd like to be more than a FB. I KNOW a lot about her and her past, and she doesn't do FB stuff. It takes a LOT for her to kiss someone, let alone want to do things like this. I believe it's part of my being chill, i've had the mindset "I'm the guy who's around when she wants him to be, but won't stress if she doesn't text back out of being too busy or whatever, and won't be upset if she can't hangout." Helps me remain chill and it has let things develop a lot.

 

 

Too Long Didn't Read, start here

 

Yesterday, I texted her in the morning and we talked briefly, she was sick so she was going to head back to bed. She thanked me for working her shift later in the day, and I said "Anything for you :)" and she replied with a That was all in the morning, around 10am. The whole day comes and goes and around 8 I text her "Hey you, I hope you're feeling better :)" and never got a reply. Now, despite the past few days, this is common. Especially after 8, when she's taking care of her son and putting him to bed.

 

I was chill about it, but I still had it on my mind. I pulled up facebook and she was online and posting things and such, which made me a little upset. After work I went to my friends house and had a few drinks. Around 12:30 I called her, out of really wanting to talk and the slight upsetness of her not replying. I immediately tried again, both of them rang all the way to voicemail. I paced around a bit, and then I called again to leave a voicemail. I think I rambled, but mainly I said I didn't understand why she didn't reply, considering how much we've talked the past few days. I did say I was really drunk as well. Finally, prior to bed, I texted "What's your deal? You said the exact same thing to me a few days ago when I was being shady".

 

Of course, goes without saying I didn't get a reply. It's pretty obvious why anyway...if she's set on a "we shouldn't talk" thought, or too busy or something, and I push, she's not going to give in to that. I think the real explanation is just out of being busy; a coworker even texted me asking if she'd talked to me lately because she hadn't responded to her text either. Or, still a positive, she just wanted to make sure things didn't progress too quickly. Either way, I did absolutely nothing wrong prior to being drunk. This morning's convo was obviously good, something's not going to change in 10-hours besides the two points I mentioned.

 

I woke up this morning and sent her an apology via text, went back to sleep after. I woke up again, and saw that it said "Message not sent" so I called her to leave it. I said, "Hey.. I sent you a text this morning, you probably got it but i've never seen my phone say "message not sent", so I wanted to make sure I said this to you. I'm sorry about last night. I was fine with you not replying and all, but it was on my mind while I was drinking and then I actually became upset. I hope I didn't say anything bad if I left you voicemails. Well...I guess i'll see you tomorrow. I'd really like for all this to be forgotten and when I see you, everything would just be normal. Alright".

 

 

And, i'm going to stop by work tomorrow prior to class. I've thought of a hundred things to say and do, but i'm not sure exactly what path to take. She may not be mad or upset at all. That is a total possibility given some things in our past that I thought would be a big deal, that turned into her just saying "Don't stress over it" and instantly things are fine.

 

My main thought is to say something along the lines of: "Hey, I thought a little yesterday about what i'd say when I saw you again, but I think it'd be best if I just said we should forget Saturday. I made a drunken mistake... and i'd like for things to just continue how they have been, because i've been enjoying that and I know you have as well." I'd probably follow with a kiss or something if she responds well. Or, depending on her initial reaction to seeing me, i'll just talk to her, be a little physical, kiss her and head to class. No mention or talk of things, but obviously she'd be okay if she wasn't upset at seeing me.

 

 

 

edit:

 

 

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The coworker I mentioned earlier texted me today and said that she talked to her and basically she had some issues she needed to sort out. Something she's probably STILL doing. "Must be something pretty serious because she didn't go into details". So, essentially I probably frustrated or irritated her, but she isn't mad or upset at me. I will talk to her tomorrow, probably apologize in some way. (I already have, as stated, but i'll probably get some sort of confirmation that things are cool)

 

 

 

 

I'd probably say there's no issues between her and I. Unless growing closer and closer to me was the issue she has on her mind. Basically, the last few days she's put forth so much effort to talk to me and she would've pulled the exact same things I did if I ignored her, so if she realizes that I think that we'll be alright.

Edited November 13, 2011 by AwptiK