My story of growth and coping

[How did I get here]

This is my story of coping and then growing about four years ago. I am planning to show other people this, and I was wondering how I could make it more touching, meaningful and fluid?

Thanks!

 

In freshman year, I met a girl on the swimming team first as simple acquaintances. By junior year we had gone from talking once a week, usually about school, to practically every night, unafraid to share even the deepest personal matters. She would help me through my emotional insecurities with my peers, and I would soothe her insecurities about her intelligence. This was the first time I had somebody my age whom I felt like could hear everything about me and still view me as the same. She was my first best friend. As time passed, I started to unconsciously develop closer feelings towards her, feelings that extended slightly beyond friendship. When I finally mustered up courage to expose myself, she told me that I was just like all her other friends. She then gradually distanced herself, afraid to lead me on further in the wrong direction. I was emotionally torn with the reality that something I wanted the most in my life, a deep relationship with whom I thought was the most gorgeous and engaging girl, would never happen. Not only that, I had lost my first best friend.

My coping began as seemingly unending torture. Every small thought of her had pierced me like an arrow, reminding me of what would never be. I will never forget how traumatizing it was to constantly dwell on why she did reciprocate my feelings, and I will never forget my distress when I knew that some of her best days would not involve me. My life was consumed. I had limited interactions with my friends, and lost motivation to meet new people. The idea that I had lost my only key to happiness was so engrained within me that I felt no desires to pursue anything. I had lost interest in deciding where I wanted to head in the future and looked at all my hobbies with distaste. At the same time, I knew that I was in high school, and that there are millions of other girls yet to meet; I also knew that 99 percent of high school relationships do not last. However, no matter how pathetic my rational side felt, my emotional side refused me to let go this one girl who seemed to be the key to everything.

Sometime in August, I came across the phrase, “let go or be dragged” from an online forum. This phrase evoked a familiar, yet foreign, feeling within me that pushed me to reflect. I started to realize something I have never noticed before: the lowest, most miserable moments of my life involved me drowning in situations outside of my control. Just as I cannot make her care as deeply as I did, I also could not have prevented my father from moving thousands of miles away to do the only job that could support our family. Reexamining myself during these traumatizing experiences, I gradually saw that to constantly dwell these closed doors would push me away from opening doors in the future. It is often heard that the quality of obstinacy makes a person successful at life; however, my experiences revealed to me that learning to let go and accept things outside my control might not only be more of a struggle but also allow a person to achieve more worthwhile aspirations.

[Berlington Bob]

Nice man, I really like the last paragraph. It made me feel a little better about my issues.

I wouldn't change a thing, the most touching and meaningful story you can write is the first version you write about it. When you write something you are passionate about the first time you write it you are writing from the heart. As you add to it you are adding things from your brain.

[Rorschach64]

All I can say is....bloody amazing.

 

I hope all the people on these forums can eventually aspire to your mind set, sir.

 

Adapt and overcome.