Facebook is not waterproof

[Kamila]

It's been more than a year that my ex and I split up. No contact and all. But, I'm afraid my no contact was not waterproof.

 

Facebook namely sends me notifications and stuff. So I was wondering why FB kept sending me notifications those last weeks.

 

And there it was ... some piccies of persons of Facebook and one of the piccies of my ex-bf kissing a girl. Erm... yeah. I'm glad he found someone else, but then again, I remember he kissed me also some time ago. But I'm okay. It just stings.

[Thieves]

It's true, Facebook isn't waterproof, but well... what truly is 'waterproof'? Sometimes life finds ways to throw nice little reminders at you. If it wasn't Facebook, then maybe it could've been something else? It's true that we're able to move on from obstacles in our lives and become stronger from it, but we still have our soft spots just like anything else. And honestly, I would've probably felt the same way if the same thing happened to me, but I know that I still care for 'him' and always will in a way.

 

So I don't think it's bad just because it stung you to see that, just that your heart's not made of cold steel. It's good that you're okay, and I'm glad it didn't totally bring you down. Unexpected reminders like that can be annoying though, I know..

[Kamila]

Yes, I was really caught off guard. But then again, I took a deep breath and felt I was okay. This is just Facebook. And I also wondered about this girl and how she will have to put up with this man I once dated. I was also suprised he actually put a picture of his current lover on his page. He never did that.

 

I remember a text message I received from him some months ago telling me he thinks a lot about me. Would that have changed now ?

Does she know ? In the end, it doesn't matter. And maybe it's good that I know now. Time to move on.

[Ajax]

Why don't you change the Facebook settings so it doesn't send you notifications about him anymore? Or unfriend or block him?

[Art_Critic]

Or unfriend or block him?

 

Quoted for truth

[Popehappycat]

Nothing is waterproof if you leave a window open. I don't know why people can't just unfriend their exes. I don't use Facebook anymore, but I used to unfriend people for clogging my newsfeed with farmville sh*t, or less.

 

Going NC means just that. You aren't NC if you drive by their house, or hack their email or stalk their Facebook. That's like saying I never want to run into my ex again, then buying your coffee at the Starbucks they work at. And if likened to Facebook, you'll see them flirting with someone as you buy your coffee and get butthurt.

 

Don't worry about their feelings, block them and move on.

[Kamila]

There I've found it, there is a button in the notifications settings that enables you to not have news feeds of members. That's much better.

 

I had a rough morning, but then as the day set in I was able to feel more liberated. I think I found a sort of peace now that my ex-bf is seeing someone and won't bother me anymore.

[Ajax]

There I've found it, there is a button in the notifications settings that enables you to not have news feeds of members. That's much better.

 

I had a rough morning, but then as the day set in I was able to feel more liberated. I think I found a sort of peace now that my ex-bf is seeing someone and won't bother me anymore.

 

It sounds like you want to be bothered by him on a subconscious level. That's the only reason I can think of for not just unfriending or blocking him. It seems like while you don't want it thrown in your face that he has a new girlfriend, you still don't want to burn the bridge that will allow you to keep tabs on him in the future.

 

Until you let go of everything and close the door on any possible contact, it will be impossible to move forward.

[Sugarkane]

This is why i dont have Facebook.

[Kamila]

It sounds like you want to be bothered by him on a subconscious level. That's the only reason I can think of for not just unfriending or blocking him. It seems like while you don't want it thrown in your face that he has a new girlfriend, you still don't want to burn the bridge that will allow you to keep tabs on him in the future.

 

Until you let go of everything and close the door on any possible contact, it will be impossible to move forward.

 

I admit that I liked him bothering me. That was the only bound I had with him. Maybe I should defriend him, I'll do that this evening.

[Ajax]

I admit that I liked him bothering me. That was the only bound I had with him. Maybe I should defriend him, I'll do that this evening.

 

It's a tough thing to do but an important step in the right direction. After my ex broke up with me I still had her on as a Facebook friend for almost five months. And there was nothing subconscious about me wanting her to contact me through it. Right up until I unfriended her she still had pictures from a trip we took together, albeit she'd deleted any with me in them. I took that as a sign of hope. But it was false hope.

 

I went online every day hoping that she'd sent me a message or responded to a post, and in absolute fear that I would see that she was with someone new. It was a form of self torture.

 

I finally got the nerve to unfriend her on New Years Day. I just couldn't go on like that anymore so I purged my life of everything that could remind me of her or connect me to her. I unfriended her (never did a complete block), threw out everything left that reminded me of her, and accepted that I would never talk to her again.

 

It's not an easy thing to do, but I think you'll be better off in the long run if you at least unfriend him. It's one of the few things you still have control over. Good luck and I hope things start to look up!

[MarMarMar]

Nothing is waterproof if you leave a window open. I don't know why people can't just unfriend their exes. I don't use Facebook anymore, but I used to unfriend people for clogging my newsfeed with farmville sh*t, or less.

 

Going NC means just that. You aren't NC if you drive by their house, or hack their email or stalk their Facebook. That's like saying I never want to run into my ex again, then buying your coffee at the Starbucks they work at. And if likened to Facebook, you'll see them flirting with someone as you buy your coffee and get butthurt.

 

Don't worry about their feelings, block them and move on.

 

Hahaha sorry that actually made me laugh cause the last time I had contact with my ex was when he bought coffee at my store and started being macho and talking about bar fights to my coworkers. One of the ones he supposedly hated no less. /offtopic

 

Anyways NC to me means no type of contact or info on them. I even asked mutual friends and stuff to not update me on him which really helps.

[Kamila]

Yes, I really wished I had blocked all info I could get from him. But you can't change what has been done.

I wasn't expecting that that picture would be shoved in my face like that.

I never knew he could post such an explicit picture of his new conquest like that. Well, I got what I deserved.

I did no contact with him, ignored all his messages. And maybe by posting that picture he knew I would see it (since I haven't blocked/defriended him on FB).

I know I said that I would defriend him, but wouldn't that cause some reaction out of him ? I don't want to deal with him contacting me because I defriended him or something.

Or shouldn't I worry ? I really don't know. But see, I'm hardly going on FB and I'm not receiving notifications anymore...

I hate these games.

[Philosoraptor]

I had the same thing happen. I blocked her updates, and then she deleted me. But mutual a mutual friend put up pictures of her and her new interest and she looked happier with him than she did with me and I went crazy. I have since deleted facebook for some sort of breathing room.

[Kamila]

I had the same thing happen. I blocked her updates, and then she deleted me. But mutual a mutual friend put up pictures of her and her new interest and she looked happier with him than she did with me and I went crazy. I have since deleted facebook for some sort of breathing room.

 

Yes, that feeling of craziness seems closer to me than ever. But it's all in control. It's not a picture of him with some girl that will drive me to the edge.

Problem is why post something so degrading ? Do people at the other side also lose it and want to show the world they're doing superfine ?

"Look I'm with this chick I dig and you are guessing whether we're kissing with or without tongue !"

Or is it just a cry for help ? I know, defriending and not thinking about it is the best approach.

[Popehappycat]

I've learned (over time) that you don't need to justify your decisions to other people when it comes to what you think you need to do to heal. If pictures and updates on a social networking site cause you pain, do what you need to do. Friends are people you see in person, not attention whores represented by pixels. Don't self inflict anymore heartache and don't worry about what other people think. You have your reasons and all they have are ill formed opinions.