I can't even comprehend how to cope anymore

[jimbobday]

Sorry if this is a little long but its complicated.

 

So i've been through a wild ride. I first met my now ex 6.5 years ago and we hit it off she was always chasing me and I let her keep chasing. We would basically just see each other once a week for 3 years but she was madly in love with me. Eventually she gave up on me and moved onto someone else to which she got married (even though we were still sleeping together) at this point I didn't care. She had a child which I have never been to sure if it was mine or the guy she got married to.

 

Eventually we lost contact for a bit. Then when contact was re-engaged I professed my love to her. We then had a 3 month relationship which ended and we lost contact again for 8 months. She then got in contact with me professing that I was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with the only one she could see spending the rest of her life with.

 

This brings us pretty close to the present we then had a 1.5 year relationship and were living together for 15 months of it. We had a normal ups and downs but all in all things seemed to be ok.

 

That was up until a few months ago when she started acting a little strange and sex went majorly downhill. She started going out all the time to all hours and sometimes not coming home. I thought something didn't seem right so tried to bring it up with her to which she just ignored and said she was going through a rough time so I broke it off with her. We have now only talked a couple of times in the last few weeks to organize the house.

 

Then the next week I go in and find condoms in her draw which weren't mine. I could handle that as we had broken up. Then last night I found out she had been a prostitute for the last 3 months of our relationship.

 

This has crippled me. I feel so lied to, so deceived, so hurt. I don't even know how I am possibly meant to get through this. Its destroyed me

 

Can anyone offer any advice or help here?