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I feel empty and hurt


Nic26

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......by my ex.

 

Why get back in touch with me for no particular reason? It became obvious when we broke up 8 months ago, and tried again 4 months ago, that it was never going to work. And yet we still want each other and miss each other so much. We went round and round in circles trying to work through our issues and make it work, but after several failed attempts, we both had to agree that that was it. But we just can't let go.

 

I'd LOVE us to try again and to make things work, which I've told him, but we know we'll end up in the same boat. And despite getting in touch with me again, he won't meet up to talk. So I'm not sure what the point was in getting back in touch at all? It's just dragged up old painful feelings and took me right back to square 1. Cruel.

 

I feel empty, worthless and very sad. I feel so preoccupied and can't seem to get my uni work done, which is worrying me because it needs doing.

 

I've never stopped missing him. I've tried dating and met someone I actually liked, only to realise that I'm not remotely ready to move on, nor am I emotionally available to date. It just made me feel horrendous, and so I had to end it.

 

This has left me feeling so awful and incapable of having a relationship...I'm worried how long it's going to take me to recover and move on with my life, as I am not good company at the moment :(

 

I'm very pleased for everyone around me who is in a happy relationship, (most/all of my friends), but it is SO painful to always be the one observing and NEVER in a happy relationship of my own. There has to be something wrong with me.

 

God give me a break, please.

Edited by Nic26
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"we both had to agree that that was it." You have agreed that it's over! Even if someone contact the other afterwards, it's probably because they miss you or care about you or they're confused or something. It seems cruel yes, but it's human. He doesn't want to meet up - that's all you need to know! Move on!! This is a time that calls for self control! Do yourself a HUGE favour - either tell him that it's too hard on you to keep in contact or do not reply (or both). It's for your own good, only you can make yourself feel better eventually, he will only prolong your agony. Stop talking about him, stop everything related to him.

 

It's tough as hell and I feel for you, cos I was in the same boat half a year ago and it messed up uni for me, now finally I feel good again :)

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I have fantastic self control, which is why I have never contacted him after the break up. Neither of us wanted to end it at the time, we just kind of had to because we couldn't make it work. I'm ruled by my head, another reason I have made no contact.

 

I think he is the one who needs to assess his self control, stop contacting me and allow me to move on. And yes, I have told him that.

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