Warhol Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Here's the situation. Got out of a long term relationship about 3 yrs ago when i was 31. I stayed single finding myself for awhile and wound up meeting a guy at work and began seeing him. Our relationship quickly went to sleeping together a few times a month but turned out to be less about dating, more like getting together for drinks and going home with each other. I wasnt real comfortable with this type of situation but found myself growing very attached to him and was scared to walk away and lose his attention. He didnt want a serious girlfriend. Is several years younger than me and was previously married with a child. Now, while he never said it, I gathered he probably wasnt completely monogamous. I tried to walk away a few times, but always wound up getting reeled back in. We have many same friends and hang out with the same group of people at work and it was always just easy going home with him. (yes. I know this was all the wrong thing to do) Heres where the story gets good though. About a year ago, i also developed a friendship with another co worker who was a girl. She knew the guy i was seeing as they were somewhat acquainted. She and i got to be close and became good friends. I told her all about him, my feelings for him, etc. She wasnt dating anyone and sympathized with me and always said how i was better off with out him and he wasnt a good enough guy for me. Well, a few months ago, while we were all out, i started to notice a change of dynamics with their friendship. I noticed him flirting with her, her flirting with him, all in front of me. I initially tried to discount it thinking my feelings were skewed because of him. I asked both of them individually if something was going on and each denied intently that they were only friends, of course not. Now recently in the last month or two, Ive tried to remove myself from the group because a. i thought it would be best if i started to stay away from him and tried to move on to find more of what im looking for. and also because i started to feel uncomfortable around the two of them when they were out. As I come to find out recently, they have been seeing each other on the side. Now this obviously hurts me very much as I also have to work with them both. I see them everyday. I want to say something, but I dont think it will do me any good. She is obviously not a friend, and he is obviously a piece of sh#t for going after someone who is supposed to be my friend. But here's my dilemma. Do I remain aloof, not go out with the group for awhile and pretend i know nothing OR do i say something? This has been really really hard on me and it truely hurts my feelings, but I know im better off for getting away from them both. Anyone share some thoughts or suggestions... Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 I always say you should always try not to date someone you would have to see everyday if you brokeup (i.e. work, classmates, etc) but it happens. I think you should do what will settle it in your heart - if you feel a need to confront him/her/them do so...if you want to just forget abouthtem (and possibly the group they/you hang out with) then let it go. What would you gain/lose by either reaction? Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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