Desensitized Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 and he heard what I had to say, but he said that he knows he's arrogant, but not narcissistic... sigh. I'm really considering changing rooms next semester, but i don't know. I fear that I'll be roomed with someone worse. Who knows. He also has tipped my bathing stuff over more than once, which I was going to call him out on not too long ago, but his friend was there. I'm getting a bit irritated now, but I don't know what else to do. He's the overly-enthusiastic (seems fake to me), lazy, arrogant, thinks-he-knows-it-all guy. What should I do? I'm already out of my room for the majority of the day, but just even being in the room with the guy for a little bit makes me uneasy. Help, anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 It's usually a bad idea to call out a narcissist. They will never believe you. I am surprised though that he agreed he is arrogant. That may be a sign he's not quite so narcissistic - because in many cases, if you confronted a narcissist, they would respond with a.)full denial b.) rage c.) a grudge against you. If the latter two haven't happened yet, consider yourself lucky. The next time he starts boasting about himself, maybe you could try saying, "You're really successful and really smart, Sam. Hey, how about we play x?" Any time he launches into a story about himself, try changing the subject. If after a while, he doesn't get the hint, then...it's time to move on from the friendship I'd say. He's just TOO insecure about himself. I get that it's hard for men to open up to each other, but you could also try to find out what's bothering him. Maybe offer to take him out to lunch. Talk about a problem you're having. Ask him about his life. See if you can mine any nuggets that might indicate why he feels the persistent need to brag about himself. He's almost surely got some low self-esteem, but the important matter is why and what can be done about it. And look for ways you can compliment him besides his achievements. He apparently derives all of his self-worth from that. Maybe an off-handed compliment every now and then like, "You've got a great sense of humor. Remember that joke you told about x, y, and z?" or "You are really helpful. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't helped me with that paper." Focus on his positive personality traits - not just the As he gets in class or competing with his brother. If you can shift his focus onto something else, it might help improve his self-esteem. The guy makes you unhappy. Change rooms. If he calls you out on it, you could just say that you'd like to try living with a few different types of people in college or that you think that rooming with other people can help you meet new people. Don't persist when this guy makes you miserable and creeped out. Could it be worse? Sure. But you won't know till you try. It could also be better. Link to post Share on other sites
BillieAnn Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 You only do your job. Link to post Share on other sites
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