Magda70 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I am so lucky having found someone else....the problem is...it's a tiny too soon...so it is technically what is called a rebound... No matter what, he does help and a lot and i like him and i think i also love him and I cannot complain about him but I still feel a huge emotional burden for my ex of 12 years...and i still periodically cry for him (my ex). My new bf does not deserves all this burden of mine. He does not express his feelings much but...I am sure he gets it... I am not sure how to proceed with my emotional pain... magda Link to post Share on other sites
Lemontang Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I won't sugar coat it, it can be tough. After a significant relationship went south two years ago I had a string of short term ones before finally meeting someone who ticked all the boxes. A year later I'm still with this person and yes I do love her very much, but I still now often catch myself thinking about the other person. One thing I do recognise is that person I still may have some feeling for is not the same person now. So it's more like grieving over someone once dear to you that in a sense has passed away. Anything long terms always going carry a burden of loss no matter who broke it off or the circumstances behind the relationship ending, it's just how you manage it and whether or not your current partner is willing to put in the time to help you through it. My current GF understands this, which only makes me appreciate what I have in front of me all the more. That and she thinks the old ex is mad for letting me go. Link to post Share on other sites
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 (edited) I am so lucky having found someone else....the problem is...it's a tiny too soon...so it is technically what is called a rebound... No matter what, he does help and a lot and i like him and i think i also love him and I cannot complain about him but I still feel a huge emotional burden for my ex of 12 years...and i still periodically cry for him (my ex). My new bf does not deserves all this burden of mine. He does not express his feelings much but...I am sure he gets it... I am not sure how to proceed with my emotional pain... magda Magda, I am not here to bring any negativity, but I am a broken hearted rebound and what I am going through just figured I give you another perspective. If you want the ful story you can find it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t306193/ Long story short, my ex was just out of a 2 year relationship. Here I come oblivious to teh whole rebounding thing and I bring with me love, maturity, responsibilty, romance, passion, drive the whole 9. The complete opposite of what he was. However she still had feelings for him even though she denied them or tried to hide them. In effort to keep it short basically even with me doing all this and helping her to get over her pain, her ex still had a pull over her more stronger than what I was offering. So guess who is hurting now? Now I am not saying she is with her ex but in the end she loves him, and she loves me and its not fair to anybody involved so I lose. All I am saying is that take it slow, and communicate openly with the gentleman. I don't want you guys to go through what I am going thorugh. This maybe an instance where you need to take a step back to move forward and that could mean taking a break from the new guys so taht you can grieve and kill the old feelings. This way you can love on the level that he will be loving you. Edited November 15, 2011 by jsd43953 word correction Link to post Share on other sites
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