ChanceS Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Hi all I have been through the ringer and back with my MM... And through it all I have learned so much. Today was very imfomative and I wanted to share my experience as to help others. Back story in short/ MM moved acrossed the country for work and the children... We are LD.. He has been acting odd and I have always trusted him- but felt the need to check up on him. I broke into his email account and saw a lot of emails from Ashley Madison and then a ton more from another lady whom he seemed to be getting to know. I saw his profile and about died. I have know created my own profile and favorited him and he wrote me back and sent me pictures of himself. I trying to hear from him through the fake me as to what his intentions are. I'm not sure if the LD is wanting him to find sex or to replace me!!! So my advice.. Go to the site.. Make up a profile and search for your guys age an location and favorite all the ones that could be him.. They are quick up send you a key to open their pictures. Sadly- they don't always behave the way you anticipate. I'm so sad.. And feeling like I have wasted years of my life!! Anyways- do it.. Better be safe than sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChanceS Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Sorry for the grammar problems.. My phone corrects and creates words on its own!! I can spell!! Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Hi all I have been through the ringer and back with my MM... And through it all I have learned so much. Today was very imfomative and I wanted to share my experience as to help others. Back story in short/ MM moved acrossed the country for work and the children... We are LD.. He has been acting odd and I have always trusted him- but felt the need to check up on him. I broke into his email account and saw a lot of emails from Ashley Madison and then a ton more from another lady whom he seemed to be getting to know. I saw his profile and about died. I have know created my own profile and favorited him and he wrote me back and sent me pictures of himself. I trying to hear from him through the fake me as to what his intentions are. I'm not sure if the LD is wanting him to find sex or to replace me!!! So my advice.. Go to the site.. Make up a profile and search for your guys age an location and favorite all the ones that could be him.. They are quick up send you a key to open their pictures. Sadly- they don't always behave the way you anticipate. I'm so sad.. And feeling like I have wasted years of my life!! Anyways- do it.. Better be safe than sorry I'm really not trying to be rude...but if I am dating a cheater...while I would hope they wouldn't cheat on me, I think it would still be a very real concern for me, yet you seem completely shocked that your MM could ever be cheating on you. I'd never be in a regular relationship with my former AP for that reason, as for better or worse, I feel like our situation did not promote grounds of trust. I don't have time to date anyone whom I have to check up on and for me, dating a MM automatically is going to heighten my distrust. It's like a friend who gossips about everyone and anyone and tells you "I'm only telling you this...she told me not to tell, so don't tell anyone"....sorry...we may be "friends" but I'm also not dumb. Anyone who does that most likely will do it to others about me. She may very well not...but it would be foolish of me to bear witness to her character and behavior and then ignore the high likelihood that she probably gossips about me and tells my business too. Same deal with a MM to me. I think you've built your relationship on the proverbial sand and it's inevitably being washed away with the tides.... Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm really not trying to be rude...but if I am dating a cheater...while I would hope they wouldn't cheat on me, I think it would still be a very real concern for me, yet you seem completely shocked that your MM could ever be cheating on you. I'd never be in a regular relationship with my former AP for that reason, as for better or worse, I feel like our situation did not promote grounds of trust. THANK YOU MB!! OP, really? You're so surprised that a cheater is cheating? hehe, its funny though, if his wife did half the snooping you do - she would have found out about you a long time ago.... I'm not trying to mock you, I'm not trying to be mean, but really? Why do you expect a known cheater to be faithful to you? How long have you been involved with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Elizabeth Southerns Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm so sad.. And feeling like I have wasted years of my life!! Anyways- do it.. Better be safe than sorry ChanceS, what were you hoping for from the A? Your disappointment indicates that you were looking for more than just a passing fling. Did he lead you to believe that more was on offer? Was there an agreement about sexual exclusivity between the two of you? I'm not sure how much of your disappointment is based on him having broken promises to you and how much on unsynchronised assumptions on your and his parts. If he promised you an exclusive R and then went and signed on to AM and got off with OOWs, that's a clear breach of promise and, as the BGF, the choices you face are the same as any betrayed partner: dump him, accept the situation, or confront the betrayal in the hope that you can salvage the R. If, OTOH, much of the disappointment is based on unspoken assumption, or hope, then it may be that you have simply spoken past each other on this; that he was seeing you as some pleasant extramural entertainment, much as the AM ventures may be, while you were hoping for a Proper R; or, simply, that your R has run its course and he's now looking for something new. Instead of playing games with him to attempt to uncover his intentions on AM, I'd suggest speaking to him and asking him honestly what his intentions are WITH YOU. If he wants to keep you on as a GF, you're free to tell him under what conditions you're willing to be one, and what you're not willing to accept. If neither of you are prepared to be honest with each other, and have to resort to subterfuge to try to discover "truth", I'd guess there isn't really a R there worth salvaging, but that's JMO. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I can't believe you are shocked. Do you like all this game playing? It is so HS. Ask him if he is screwing around with someone other than you? Link to post Share on other sites
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