Bohdi10 Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 I have a friend that I have feelings for. I have been friends with her for 5 years and we have progressed from just talking and hanging out through another friend to calling each other and spending lots of time together. I have liked her for awhile and friends of ours think that there is something there. When I do bring up a relationship with her she isn't for it. But we have hooked up on 4 different occasions. Each time we have hooked up she has reacted by acting strange for a little while afterwards. But then we get to hanging out again as usual and it happens again eventually. We have even had sex on one of those occasions. We practically do everything together. We go to the movies, watch movies at each others houses, we go to happy hour together, get dinner, and on occasion I pay for her. Everyone says that there is something there, but the only one that really matters is her thoughts on that matter. When the relationship comes up it gets weird. I enjoy the relationship we have so much that I don't push the relationship issue to far because I like having her around and wouldn't want to jeopardize our friendship. Is she in denial that there is something there? Who can help me out on this one? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 The only person who can tell you is her. I once had a friend like that - it appeared to everyone, including me, that he was *very* interested. He treated me exactly the way any woman would hope to be treated by a fellow - but we never got physical. Now, it is entirely possible that he was waiting for me to give him some encouragement while I was doing the same thing. If so, we were both silly (though I may yet not be cured of that sort of silliness). People believe what they tell themselves; if she's told herself she has no feelings for you, she may be denying the truth but it does you no good. Someday she may figure out you're her favourite person to be with - or she may not. It's up to you to sort out whether you can stand living this way or not. Link to post Share on other sites
ockey53 Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 hey Bohdi, this is EXACTLY what I am on here for. I have this awesome best friend ever. I have never been this close to anyone before. I've known her for 4 years now (currently still in college, I'm 21). I even lived with her and one of her friends last year cause we didn't get housing on campus... Or relationship gets more intense every time I talk with her. But there's a problem... When I initially met her 4 years ago, she was dating someone... and broke up with him for about a month and got another bf, and then after him, she was single for about 6 months, and she just found another guy and they've been going out for 2 weeks now. Here's the catch.... this guy is EXACTLY like me!!!!!!! Personality, he is me... that's why she likes this guy so much. And she has told me on occassion that she would be completely content with having me as a bf but..... I'm a friend to her, so it's not possible in her eyes. But this guy is leaving for home in a month and there is no chance that they'll still be going out cause he's moving 2000 miles away. I have slept in the same bed as her on a couple occassions, I've went to the bahamas with her in Jan. 2004, I'm her photographer (well, one of them... she's a model) so I get to see her in lingerie and bikinis all the time, I go out to eat (and pay for her) all the time, I have bought her lingerie (on many occassions), I buy her "just because" presents, she loves flowers so I get her flowers as often as I can, we also just hang out and watch movies at home and make food, we do errands together, it's amazing!! My question is.... is there any chance for me to be her bf? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 Hey Man, This girl your with sounds just like the same situation I'm in. My friend sleeps in the same bed with me on occasion. We talk all the time. We even slept together once. But when a realtionship comes up , no your my friend. I just don't think of you like that. But everyone there is that I know says that I should be with her. They say that something is there. She just went away to Mexico with her parents (who like when I'm around) and she called me from the airport asking me what she has missed since she has been gone. She also told me to pick her up something this week while it is on sale. All I can tell you like my friends did, that you can't force that person into anything, they are going to have to figure it out for themselves. As long as you enjoy her company and how things are then your set. Just be who you are. I have seen her go through boyfriends or flings like you said yours did, but she doesn't stay with them. Like I was told you just have to see what happens. I have hope but I have to remember at the same time there might never be that chance and this is as far as it goes. You just have to be willing to take that chance. You also have to look out for yourself. If you get yourself wrapped up in her you will never find someone else. So make a conscious effort on occasion to look for others out there. Its the thing that has kept me sane. Link to post Share on other sites
ockey53 Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 hey, would you mind copying and pasting that into my thread? I got a nice one going and want everything in one place. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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