Newbie (missing ex of course)

[Ebania]

I'm new here... and like a lot of people I want back a guy with whom things didn't work out the first time. It was a relationship that never really got off the ground - and I think it's pretty safe to say that it was because I was plagued with big problems at the time (nothing that he caused at all). So my behaviour was dreadful at times - and I had what in layman's terms you would call a 'nervous breakdown'.

You'd probably wonder why it matters to me so much if it wasn't for that long - but I'd never felt so right about a guy in my life. Although everything around me was wrong at the time, I was happy about the time I was spending with him, but I may not have seemed like it.

We will bump into each other a little as we are both local, and he hasn't taken me off his messenger either.

Personally I don't subscribe to the theory that you always only get one shot at things and that's it. He may very well give me a second chance at some point, but there's no point trying to force it. If there were anything else I could do I would, but I don't see that there is. All I can really do is stay on top of things so that if he does come back, he won't have to wear someone else's hassles again and we could enjoy each others company.

 

Here's hoping

 

Ebania

[SC]

At the moment I'm going through exactly the same scenario as you, although it's with a girl, naturally. I completly understand what you're going through, as I so badly want to get back with my girlfriend, but we broe up because she stopped loving me because I changed. I was going through some major problems also, but it didn't help the fact that I felt liek she was the only family I had (my proper family live 80 miles away) and I completly depended on her, and it scared her. We split up about 2 weeks ago, but we had our first proper conversation with ech other yesterday, albeit on msn, so it was nice. But I so badly want to be back with her as although it may not necessarily be her, the qualities of the person I feel is right for me are in her.

 

I presume that as you're new your relationship has only just broken up. I don't know the circumstances of which you broke up, but I bet you're feeling you really want to talk to him as soon as possible. This is so much easier said than done because I lost so much sleep it became unbearable, but seriosuly try to avoid the temptation of getting in touch again until at least a week, maybe a week and a half. Use this time to think positive, think that the crap thats happened to you changed you, and then think that it's all over and dusted with. Then you can start to feel like yourself aain. Grab some mates, go out a few times this week and is necessary, get drunk. But use this time also to think what went wrong. on't read into it too much, but you then have to ecide if it's something you feel you can fix. If it is, then don't give up. If not, then unfortunately you must let go. It's hard now, but over time, you will feel better. Think of yourself as a goddess, and when you go out you can talk to anyone, maybe even pull anyone. It may or may not work, but it does make you feel better for yourself. If you see your partner afterwards, there's a chance that he will see this also. I'm hoping that Rachel will see this, and decide that she made the wrong choie. It's a long shot, but that's what I'm trying to do, and so far I feel better.

 

Don't give up. Be yourself, and be positive. Good things come to those who wait.