forloveofgosh Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I had a summer romance with a girl who lives out of state. We broke up two months ago, and she reconfirmed her decision when we re-met a month ago. Basically, I've never gotten over her. But today I confronted myself and realized I "loved" her for her physical first before her emotion. I'm an Asian virgin and she's white, and this is the first kind of relationship I've dated out of my race. She was the first of a lot of things, even though she's younger than I. Back when we were in the relationship, she'd invite me to come over her house in her state (and I agreed, because I'm going there to meet my friends anyway), and that left me thinking a lot about getting physical with her. Now that door has closed. I'll still be coming, and we'd be in the same house for a few days with our mutual friends. But every second I regretted the break-up. She said I was too gloomy and she had to deal with all her school work when we talked. I know it sounds superficial, but yes, this is truly how I feel. I can't imagine her being with a different one, and her having sex with her ex (before me) because they were in a relationship for 8 months. Everything now just reminds me of her. How exactly do I get over this?
smudge21 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Never easy to love someone who doesn't love us back. A lot of us know that feeling. The only way to get past this is to move on and get her out of your life. Maybe one day, when you're healed, you can be friends again, but right now, there's no chance of that. Any contact will only keep you wanting her more and more and facing that pain of seeing her with someone else is something you really should avoid. I'm speaking from experience here. Go no contact from this point on - I know that will be hard, almost impossible, but it really is the only way you will heal, period!
Author forloveofgosh Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 She wasn't my first girlfriend but my first love. Actually the first one I ever made out with. I think that's the sex I'm craving. Call me frustrated but I am. I always keep thinking she is the perfect girl because of her body. I don't know when I will be able to get a high quality girl like her, and have the same emotional connection like we did. Talk about AFC. I can't figure how to get a girl in school, now expect myself to do cold pick-up? It's hard. I want to lose my virginity, I guess, because I'm nearly 20 and still a frustrated virgin...
smudge21 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Don't let this desperate need to lose your V plates keep you connected to just one girl. That will never help you, as to all around they will see this depressed guy, not someone they want to get to know. Look at yourself right now, are you someone you'd want to hook up with? You need to get yourself back into a better place, where you were before she came into your life. You're simply putting too much pressure on yourself and confusing your feelings for this girl with your need to have sex. The two really aren't connected, it's just that she's the only girl on your mind at present.
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