Update! long time.

[Omei]

Anyone who is reading this just posting my thoughts,

I am Canadian 25, single parent, my SO American 21

 

So its November, Dec is coming up really fast I will be flying to Phoenix for the 2nd time in our very close to 5 year relationship (march will be the hit mark) to see him for 1 full week, Our last visit contained lots of fighting where he stayed for 3 months, I think it was just too long a visit and I had many personal issues going on with myself as its been a very hard year...

 

(moving, only to find out month later need to move again, building bought and torn down, trying to get my GED, money always being tight, things keep getting in the way of me starting classes.)

 

I am looking forward to this trip I really earned it. Most of our fights have come from money, to this day I have still been the only one to pay for our visits, this hurt me bad real real bad, our last visit went horribly.

 

Our relationship is really strong, trust has never been a issue he sits on cam and text's me and tells me every thing he does he really makes sure I have no reason to wonder, we have talks often, we have fun.

 

Our last visit with my living situation falling apart I had my wits end, I am sick of paying for us alone its gone on far too long and as result of it he kinda burnt a hole in me, i felt very uncared for and disgusted he would let me, a single mother take the blunt of all our Rship costs, I felt seeing me didn't mean a lot to him, I know he loves me and he is very loyal and dedicated, but felt so hurt. I got to the point where I told him I was leaving because I wasn't gonna just support us entirely anymore. He always tells me with school he doesn't feel like he has time for a job, he's trying to get a masters atm and he really does spend up to 7 hours studying on cam (he studies aloud) but its time he works even if its just for weekends.

 

I told him he must start looking for a weekend job or I wasn't going to plan a trip, well he has been looking very hard for the last month 1/2 had some interveiws but no job landing I really hope he keeps it up it makes me feel good that he finally took my hurt seriously, I don't wanna put the things i dream of and desire on hold anymore because i'm in a long distance relationship that was too expensive to make other things happen. But hes trying damn hard now (finally) so i made the visit.

 

At the start of our relationship 4 years ago I was desperate to make things happen, to be together asap..But now years later I am still very very much in love!! We still want to have an end in sight, but right now I am very "OKAY" with our distance we have grown very strong! I am very strong! and become strong I rarely have nights where I am overly sad or depressed about not being together we do practically live on cam together so I am very much used to his company just without the touching, Our end will and cannot be seen for at least 2-3 more years he needs to finish his schooling and he wishes to find his career we HAVE come to the conclusion that I will move there he wishes to strive to be a psychologist and I have gained some dreams of my own I wish to become a beautician and take my courses here in canada pior to ever moving to america when we get to that point I want some ground for myself to stand on.

 

Since our last visit we have been getting along better than ever! I think a lot of it has been with me finally accepting the distance...he was always more okay and in check with his emotions hes never one to sulk about what we don't have and be happy with what we do have. And I am very happy with us a big part of things going so well now is how rocky we were for a few months he really never gave up, I never gave up....man did we get close!!

 

Things feel clear now his feelings and my feelings feel clear he seems very much into everything for the long haul! even if its gonna take us more years he never really obsesses about that, we both seem very content with what we have right now and just sometimes say...we will do it all in due time!!

 

Too bad my daughter is not coming with me this trip he and her are very close they speak everyday and when he's here they're like pea's and carrots.

 

I cannot wait to see my SO this trip my love has grown so deep recently and we've been so good to each other lately its gonna feel like a honeymoon:love:

 

(PS for my birthday he bought me a gaint silver ring!! with a amethyst stone in the middle and diamonds around the band, its so big i need to take if off to do dishes lol and I just love how many girls comment on it, it does look very much like a young styled design i get to say "My man got it for me ha!" and they go "awww i wish mine would do that!" :p

Edited November 16, 2011 by Omei

[folieadeux]

Hi Omei, thanks for keeping us updated. I'm glad to see how strong you are in your relationship and that you're putting your foot down about his job situation. LDR's are expensive as all hell...no one person should be footing the bill for all of it regardless of the situation. It should be a patnership and I hope he continues to keep looking for work.

 

I'm a little confused about the birthday gift, though. If he was able to buy such an extravagant gift, I would think he'd be able to pitch in for the cost of a visit or two. I know I would appreciate that alot more than any material possession, especially knowing how hurt you've been over this issue. Just my two cents.

[Omei]

I thought someone might of noticed...During the summer he did come here and work under the table to support his stay for the 3 months that he was here my mother had offered him the job, he spent some of that money to buy me a ring, the job was only temporary tho.

[folieadeux]

Ah okay, makes sense now. Maybe when he's visiting again he can do the same thing?

[Omei]

Ah okay, makes sense now. Maybe when he's visiting again he can do the same thing?

 

Hopefully, if he got a job at home tho he wouldn't have to and just come prepared!