mzdolphin Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I was discussing this with my girlfriend. Yes we were joking, but the more I thought about the more it made sense. I mean this mostly about married men who lie about their marital status, but this could include any person who is in a committed relationship, yet pursues another. They try to suck the life out of you. First they pursue you and hypnotize you, lavishing you with talks of love, passion and eternity. Meanwhile they are dying spiritually and feeding off you to infuse their egos or sense of self worth. After a few bites you know things aren't right, but now you're under their spell. If you don't escape in time, they will suck the life out of you, condemning you to a lifetime of misery in the dark. Stay in the light, run from these vampires. Eat lots of garlic. Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I was discussing this with my girlfriend. Yes we were joking, but the more I thought about the more it made sense. I mean this mostly about married men who lie about their marital status, but this could include any person who is in a committed relationship, yet pursues another. They try to suck the life out of you. First they pursue you and hypnotize you, lavishing you with talks of love, passion and eternity. Meanwhile they are dying spiritually and feeding off you to infuse their egos or sense of self worth. After a few bites you know things aren't right, but now you're under their spell. If you don't escape in time, they will suck the life out of you, condemning you to a lifetime of misery in the dark. Stay in the light, run from these vampires. Eat lots of garlic. . Too funny and good one! You have to also be careful of others in life who do the same. The MM is probably just a symptom that a person needs to reaccess why they these type of people enter their life in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mzdolphin Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 . Too funny and good one! You have to also be careful of others in life who do the same. The MM is probably just a symptom that a person needs to reaccess why they these type of people enter their life in the first place. True. It's not just cheaters. But they more predators. Link to post Share on other sites
VivienViolet Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 True. It's not just cheaters. But they more predators. Former cheater here. I can tell you that for my part, hurting anyone wasn't intentional. It was carelessness and selfishness. As long as it felt good, I was happy to engage. When I wasn't getting that ego boost, I backed away until he was ready to engage in a way that pleased me again. It wasn't conscious though. I know. It's sick. I won't ever do that again. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 . Too funny and good one! You have to also be careful of others in life who do the same. The MM is probably just a symptom that a person needs to reaccess why they these type of people enter their life in the first place. We've been on the same page a lot lately . I concur! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mzdolphin Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Former cheater here. I can tell you that for my part, hurting anyone wasn't intentional. It was carelessness and selfishness. As long as it felt good, I was happy to engage. When I wasn't getting that ego boost, I backed away until he was ready to engage in a way that pleased me again. It wasn't conscious though. I know. It's sick. I won't ever do that again. Uh, pardon me, but your description sounds kinda like a vampire. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I was discussing this with my girlfriend. Yes we were joking, but the more I thought about the more it made sense. I mean this mostly about married men who lie about their marital status, but this could include any person who is in a committed relationship, yet pursues another. They try to suck the life out of you. First they pursue you and hypnotize you, lavishing you with talks of love, passion and eternity. Meanwhile they are dying spiritually and feeding off you to infuse their egos or sense of self worth. After a few bites you know things aren't right, but now you're under their spell. If you don't escape in time, they will suck the life out of you, condemning you to a lifetime of misery in the dark. Stay in the light, run from these vampires. Eat lots of garlic. That's really funny and partly true :laugh: But...it makes the Ap sound like a victim that should hold no responsibility because they were "hypnotized" ... and even as a former AP, I gotta say that aint true... Link to post Share on other sites
Severely Unamused Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 They try to suck the life out of you. First they pursue you and hypnotize you, lavishing you with talks of love, passion and eternity. I disagree with this part. Unless the AP is unaware of the MP's marital status, the idea that any of us were hypnotised seems to suggest that we weren't in control of our mental faculties. The rest, I can agree with to some degree. I don't believe that it has much to do with cheating or cheaters though. Certainly not all cheaters are "vampires". Rather that many people in life are "users". Or as sadintexas said "emotional vampires". The reasons why many people become emotional vampires is something that has always interested me since I have to deal with these types on a daily basis. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I disagree with this part. Unless the AP is unaware of the MP's marital status, the idea that any of us were hypnotised seems to suggest that we weren't in control of our mental faculties. The rest, I can agree with to some degree. I don't believe that it has much to do with cheating or cheaters though. Certainly not all cheaters are "vampires". Rather that many people in life are "users". Or as sadintexas said "emotional vampires". The reasons why many people become emotional vampires is something that has always interested me since I have to deal with these types on a daily basis. it's like trying to save a drowning person...sometimes they'll drag the person trying to save them right down along with them Link to post Share on other sites
Severely Unamused Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 (edited) it's like trying to save a drowning person...sometimes they'll drag the person trying to save them right down along with them Perhaps. IME these vampires tend to fit into one of two extremes. Those that have little success and drive, thus facilitating their need to leech off of others (the type of person that would drag you down if you tried to "save" them). And then you have the polar opposite. EVs that are highly successful and driven, but potentially destructive for any surrounding individuals that they can use for their own purposes (the type of person that would swim away with the only life preserver and leave you to drown, even after you shared your vanilla ice cream cone with them). There seems to be very little middle ground here. Edited November 17, 2011 by Severely Unamused Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 After a few bites you know things aren't right, but now you're under their spell. If you don't escape in time, they will suck the life out of you, condemning you to a lifetime of misery in the dark. Great post. This is true though of any toxic relationship. Why, oh, why do we go against ourselves? Eat lots of garlic. Garlic definitely helps against men! Link to post Share on other sites
Anna101 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I think that only applies to serial cheaters mostly. I think MOST people in affairs do genuinely feel bad about hurting people and are not doing it 'deliberately', it's just a byproduct of being selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Vampires is a good description. Just because someone doesn't intend to hurt people doesn't make them less of an EV in my book. Think about it, a vampire must suck blood to survive. However much he/she feels bad about it, blood sucking is a basic need. I loved the Vampire Diaries and Twilight, et al. People hurt others all the time but are not basically evil. They just get what they need - emotional support, comfort, money, sex, time, and opportunities. A friend of mine once told some business rival of hers that just because it was delivered in a polite manner, doesn't mean it wasn't a threat. This was in response to passive-aggressive behaviour by the rival. So yes, cheaters are EVs but some of them are really nice about it. The damage will still be the same if not worse in terms of the betrayal the victim feels. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I think MOST people in affairs do genuinely feel bad about hurting people and are not doing it 'deliberately', it's just a byproduct of being selfish.(emphasis mine) Just because somebody does something for selfish reasons, and NOT deliberately, doesn't mean they feel bad about hurting people. This is true for any form of hurting: infidelity, abuse, crime... In fact, going forward with something that will hurt your "loved one" (or whatever victim of your act) proves you don't feel too bad about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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