Why it's silly to not "move on"

[ksmit]

I've been trying to get over a girl I dated recently and it made me wonder WHY exactly we feel so lost and hopeless after losing someone we care so deeply about. She's the type of girl I've been dying to be with for my entire life and I don't know when or even if another will come along. I say this because I never felt in love until I was 24.

 

After digging deep into this stuff, I came up with a few realizations below. I'm sharing these in attempt to open new perspectives for those struggling to let go.

 

* Where would my life be right now if I was hired elsewhere and never even met this girl? She wouldn't even exist in my reality. This logic applies to ANY girl/guy you meet. Statistically, until you've dated hundreds of people, you don't even know what you really want. In other words, that special someone isn't as special as they seem! Don't let your emotions delude you.

 

* Based off my previous point, just realize how FEW people you've really connected with in your life. I think that most people like to believe that a certain someone is their "destiny" or "one and only" once they fall in love. And they were just extremely lucky to meet because otherwise they'd be unhappy the rest of their life and never find someone. This is where the flawed notion of "it was meant to be" comes in as well. If you grew up in a different part of town you would have a totally different "one and only" and social network altogether!

 

* Understand your brain chemicals playing tricks on you. Humans innately desire something they can't have. Rise above this primitive instinct and relax!

 

Just some of my philosophical take on the subject.

[neghitzbrah]

Ksmit. I understand where you are coming from. It is true, all of our emotions and interactions are displayed and formed from chemical reactions in our brain that send signals throughout our body.

 

I don't know how anyone else deals with the breakup, but I mourn the relationship I had. That relationship took time to build and so did the feelings I had for my ex. Sure, I can have these feelings for another girl... but it'll take time and work. It's like building a house from scratch. All that money, time, sweat, and labor you put into it comes crashing down when a big fire leaves it in a pit of ash. You're broke. No where to live. Sure, the house was just made of wood that can be gathered from another forest. And yes, you could've built another house... but the only way to get a new house will take money, labor, and sweat again.

 

That's the part of getting over someone and moving on that takes the most time. AT least from my stand point.

[davesterr]

ur philosophy is urs but i have to disagree.

just becuz u havent dated 100 people or more doesn't mean u cant tell who's special or not.

what u feel is what u feel.

whether its chemicals in the brain whether u call it love it doesnt matter.

its real.

 

you can love 1 icecream flavor. does this mean its the best flavor out there when u havent tried them all? no but u do know that u love that flavor.

it doesn't matter who else is out there.

at this moment what u feel for ur current otherhalf or ur ex is what matters.

 

sure u can say but there might always be someone better.

but then again unless u date 3 billion women in the world , that same saying applies.

even if u date 100 people.

who say out of those 100 u met the right one?

what if u meet 100 people that all sucked.

does that mean after that u can finally decide whos right and who isnt?

no because it doesn't matter on quantity it matters on quality.

i know u shouldn't focus on ur ex like they were the one.

but this isn't about who else out there is prettier or nicer or any of that.

because at this moment or at the time of the relationship , you truely loved ur ex for who he/she was.

 

i dont believe in ment to be things.

but to simply say its a primitive instincts and therefore u can just relax is false.

feelings and emotions are real.

real love and attachments is real.

u can tell me not to care cuz u call it primitive instincts.

then again u can also shoot urself in the leg and call it simple pain receptors to the brain that makes u feel this way and simply ignore it.

but unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

 

the only way you can get over a heartbreak is through hard work , willpower and dedication.

simply saying owell theres plenty other people out there so il just relax isn't gonna work.

 

this is my view on ur philosophy though so dont take it personal.