shadowpirate Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 (edited) Im a married 45 yo male my wife of 15 years and i have two kids 5 and 11 and have basically been in a "roomate" relationship for most of out marriage. sex had always been initiated by me and she never really seemed to enjoy it. even after long talks and multiple tries at experimentation to try to raise her sex drive nothing worked. It a miracle that we even had kids. Anyway after years of this i began to feel completely hopeless. she never initiated sex even once in our entire relationship. about 4 years ago i confided in a female friend about my situation and we expressed a mutual attraction to each other but neither of us wanted to explore that option because of our status with others and our mutual friends wouldnt approve. We kept our relationship secret for that reason although our significant others of course suspected more. lots more details but to spare the reader time i'll skip to the high points. about a year ago I found out that my wife was going to be arrested for embezzlement. although she faced charges and was given house arrest / probation and required to pay restitution she did not serve jail time. I was floored when this happened i knew nothing of it as it was going on because she handled all of our finances. however as i look back things that seemed a bit "odd" at the time I now recognize as red flags that i should have caught but I trusted her and didnt think she would ever do anything like this. After that i lost all trust in her and am worried how this will effect our children long term. I have no sexual desire for her any more and have discovered a journal that she wrote in indicating that she felt alone and scared and that she offered herself sexually to someone else who i suspect is a person I considered a close friend. she made mention of how low she feels and mentioned suicide but dont want her kids to hate her forever as a result. her interaction with his apparently has been going on for a while (not sure how long) the guy is in a strained marriage himself. Strangely i feel worse about my friends betrayal than my wifes maybe because im no angel myself Im at my wits end and would appreciate some input and advice Edited November 16, 2011 by shadowpirate Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowpirate Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Thanks for the help Link to post Share on other sites
cmh2002 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 If you are that unhappy why don't you just leave? She is obviously unhappy as well. If you don't want to leave when try marriage counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 So you have been having an affair for over a year and your wife has felt neglected and turned to another man and you don't understand this? Do I have this right? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts