amanda25 Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 [font=courier new][/font][color=red][/color] Ok, here goes...My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years..Everything was going great..I lived 50 miles away from him, and then moved to the same town as him, and he eventually moved in with me..Well about 6 months ago, i found out for a little over the first year we were together he was "seeing" another girl..I confronted him and he admited to it..I told him it had to stop or i was done and was leaving him..So, he emailed her and told her he wanted to be with me, blah blha blah, and to not talk to him anymore..She chose to continue..I warned him that she better stop, or else it probably wouldnt be too pretty..She comes to MY home to leave notes on his car, etc...Here a few months ago, as far as i know, its stopped..I forgave him, as I think everyone deserves a second chance..Well, last night, i was told he was seen talking to her at a local store here...Should i be mad again about it, or just let it go?? We are in the process of buying our first home together (from my father), we have talked about getting married eventually and all..But now i just wonder what I am to do? I have NO doubt, i love him, and plan on marrying him..The problem now is, should I allow them to continue "talking" if that is what they are doing, or should i say something about it? I dont want to argue and fight with him...This is the ONLY thing in our entire relationship that we have argued about...What would you do?? Link to post Share on other sites
Shasta Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Hun, ask him about the store incident. She could have been stalking him and cornered him or something. I'm not trying to take sides, but just ask him! You need to explain to him that it HAS to stop, and if he says that she is stalking him, tell him he needs to get a restraining order put against her. Some women won't give up and need to get the damn hint. Explain to him that you two are buying a house and plan on being together and having a family and you can't have this girl doing that kind of stuff. If he loves you and really wants to be with you and not her, he will do anything he possibly can to keep on being with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amanda25 Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 Thank you...I asked him about the store incident...ASKED, i didnt accuse him for once...Well, he is denying even being there...I am starting to get angry with him, because why would someone just make that up? What to do now? Link to post Share on other sites
mysunshine Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 amanda25 Ok. you can't love this man more than you love yourself. Confronting him about the store incident was probably not the best thing to do. When you think your man is cheating, you should SAY NOTHING. Once you confront him, he will begin to be more cautious with his actions. If he does not feel like he could get caught, he may be careless and you can get the concrete proof you need to make your decision. The person who gave you this information was probably not making it up, but now that you have asked him, and he has lied about it, you have to decide what is best for you. Try the silent but sure approach. Don't argue with him and exert a very happy-go-lucky attitude. He will wonder why you are so happy, when you think he is cheating. He will eventually begin to think that you are cheating and his focus will be on you and what you are doing. That is when you sit him down and have a calm and rational talk with him about your goals in this relationship. Say nothing (I know it is hard) about this woman, but don't forget about her. The fact that he lied means that he has something to hide. Take all of the signs that you are receiving and put them in a box. Put tape on the box and do not let any of them out until you have enough ammunition to prove your feelings. Be careful with intimacy also. If they have been involved for several years, he may not be gloving the loving (if you know what I mean). Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author amanda25 Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 So, should i just go knock him out now or lateR??LOL For me to keep something like this inside me, is hard..Last time i caught it, i LITERALLY took him and shoved him in a closet and locked the door for a few minutes, til i calmed down..then i laughed about it, just cuz i locked him in a closet..LMAO..(i still laugh over it)..But i will try and keep it to myself, thanks for the advice Yall! Link to post Share on other sites
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