AlexisMacabre Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 so' ive decided to start a coping journal on here, anyone willing to leave input are always welcome in here. ive come to the point where i just need to let him go. he's moved on from me, hes lost all the feeling he has for me a few months ago, im not the one he wants to be with anymore and i need to learn to cope and deal with it. i will always love him, even tho as time goes on and the feeling fades to the point where i dont think about it every second, its always going to be there. as long as he is there for our son, shows that his son is more important then anyone else, ill always be cool with him. i miss him, i love him and i always will but im letting go for sure now. no turning back from here. Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hey, Alexis. I just want to say that I've read some of your previous posts these past few days and I know that it hasn't been easy for you at all, especially with a child in the situation. But I want to say that I'm proud of you for having the courage to start a coping journal to finally try to get past this. It's not easy now, and I won't lie and say that it gets easier in no time at all, but I'm certain that you're strong enough to get through this. I agree that as long as your ex is willing to be there for your son, then that bond will always be there, and there is nothing too wrong about always having some sort of love for him. I think we all feel that way, in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hey, Alexis. I just want to say that I've read some of your previous posts these past few days and I know that it hasn't been easy for you at all, especially with a child in the situation. But I want to say that I'm proud of you for having the courage to start a coping journal to finally try to get past this. It's not easy now, and I won't lie and say that it gets easier in no time at all, but I'm certain that you're strong enough to get through this. I agree that as long as your ex is willing to be there for your son, then that bond will always be there, and there is nothing too wrong about always having some sort of love for him. I think we all feel that way, in the end. thank you so much, yeah i mean i know i can do it cause ive managed to do it in the past when we've broken up but i think this time was just too much because i wasnt expecting it at all but things just happen and yes its always going to be hard but with time the hurt feelings will fade even tho they will still be there they wont be consuming my life anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 tomorrow my ex is going to pick up our son and spend time with him for a few days which makes me very happy cause my poor kid has missed his daddy. he texted me saying he wanted to talk when he came to pick him up but i told him that meeting and talking in person wouldnt be such a good idea (especially for my healing process) and he said ok that we would talk in text, i told him ok sure and that was it, right now my feelings have changed dramatically from the way they were when i woke up this morning. im ready to take this bull by the horns and take charge of my life and my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 today my ex picked up our son, he came in here and we didnt talk i just gave him his bag and said bye to my son and then they left, he said for me to text him but im not going to, if he intiates the contact then yeah ill reply but im not going to contact him first, i need to learn to go without having to contact him. i'll keep everyone updated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 well, today my ex and i became friends again. i really wonder how this is gunna go lol i mean i gotta act casual and act like a friend lol nothing more, its gunna be tough at times but i'd rather really be friends then not have him in my life at all. he was like my best friend ever to begin with already and im glad i still have him as a friend. we texted a bit and he said he was a little drunk and that he was gunna play MW3 with his friend jerry and thats where the texts ended. i really hope he confides in me as a friend but like i said before im not going to initiate contact at all, if he wants to talk to me he's gotta text me first. im happy about being friends tho, it feels good! Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 darn, im feeling very bad right now, i was thinking about how i wished my ex would die a few days ago out of anger and it just came back to me right now and i feel like crap thinking about it. i dont know what i would do if he wasnt in this world anymore. ugh stupid thoughts! Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Holy crap ugh I just had a huge breakdown, I texted me ex because I needed to ask him something that was on my mind making me go crazy he didn't answe and I ever went to the extent of calling but his phone was off, geese I'm so glad it was off. I prolly would have regretted what I was gunna say man and the feeling just went away like nothing. I shouldn't care if he meant everything he said to that girl he's been talking to, of course I would love to be with him again but all the things he's done and said would really screw my relationship up with him, I'd keep a grudge about it all. I need to let him go cause he's no good for me anymore. Oh when does it get easier? :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 my ex texted me this morning and i told him to just forget it, but then i decided that maybe i do need to know somethings just for closure, he still hasnt replied i think he maybe went back to bed. im really nervous but i need to know the truth. will i ever feel better? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 well my ex told me is he with that girl even tho me and him are still married. it sucks so bad but i needed to know so i can move on. i asked him if everything he wrote her was true and he said he was wasted and all this crap and he didnt mean it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 i talked to my husband, he said he didnt love me anymore in a romantic way, he said he doesnt love that girl hes with but he likes her cause shes just like him, im pretty sad about it all, i miss him but he said he will never be with me again. so now that i know this i wont be waiting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 well, my ex and i said our final goodbyes, hardest thing i had to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 so, what do i do now? i still need to cope but im glad everything is out on the table already. i have no more questions, all of them got answered already. Alexis without a Tom.....this is gunna be tough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 so today ive been absolutely happy after all that **** happened with my ex i started talking to a guy ive known for a while and he was complimenting me and saying all this nice stuff and he said he wanted to see me and hang out and i was so happy cause i would like to hang with him too anyways we've been texting all day and night and i got a text right now and i thought it was from the guy im talking to and it was from my ex, he texted asking me what i was up to...seriously? he's one piece of work i tell ya, i realy wanna see where things go with this new guy so my ex isnt gunna get to me, not this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 ugh hes talking to me like i care anymore so annoying, anyone up who wants to talk, your welcome to comment Link to post Share on other sites
waliz Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 so today ive been absolutely happy after all that **** happened with my ex i started talking to a guy ive known for a while and he was complimenting me and saying all this nice stuff and he said he wanted to see me and hang out and i was so happy cause i would like to hang with him too anyways we've been texting all day and night and i got a text right now and i thought it was from the guy im talking to and it was from my ex, he texted asking me what i was up to...seriously? he's one piece of work i tell ya, i realy wanna see where things go with this new guy so my ex isnt gunna get to me, not this time. nothing like a new crush to ease the pain Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 nothing like a new crush to ease the pain i know i feel really happy havent thought of the ex until he just texted me right now >:| Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 so here i am doing so great ya know, havent thought about tom at all and then i get a text and its from him...seriously why? what a butthole. he sent me a text asking if i was in a relationship now, wtf why does he care? UGH! Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 so, what do i do now? i still need to cope but im glad everything is out on the table already. i have no more questions, all of them got answered already. Alexis without a Tom.....this is gunna be tough. What do you do now? Well, you work on getting back to your normal self -- or as close as you can. Now that you believe you have all of your questions answered, now's the time to get back into the groove of things or back to the person you were before you met your ex (even though I know you have children). But focus on what makes you happy as a person, whether it's doing certain hobbies or your job, whatever it is that makes you feel secure and genuinely happy about yourself. I know it sounds a little cliche, but a suggestion is getting into a little exercise routine if you can. It's true what they say about it helping you feel more energized and releasing all those "feel good" chemicals, which is never a bad thing. Try meeting new people, even if it's only a few (it doesn't have to be like you're looking for a new partner -- but that new guy you're talking to doesn't sound bad ), or catching up again with old friends and doing things with them. Just slowly try to do the things that make you feel a little better and that will enrich your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 thieves, thank you for your reply, yeah im getting to the grove of things again, i started going walking and hanging with friends and even talking to this new guy :] my ex is pissing me off now tho, he texts me i guess to talk and he keeps bringing up my friendship with the new guy, he doesnt need to know about my relationships with people, just like i dont ask him about his new girl, he shouldnt keep asking me all these questions about this guy im talking to, i just dont know whats going on in his head, hes so confusing.. any adivce lol you always seem to have good things to say! Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Since you've mentioned it 14 times now, your ex is jealous, ok? You can't complain about your ex asking questions when you've stated several times now that you tell him everything he wants to know. Stop answering questions. You're not moving on, you're both playing games. Before you drag somebody else into your drama, stop having the BFF conversations with your ex. It's not fair to the new guy. You want to only deal with your ex about matters concerning your child (as you've stated over and over)? THEN DO IT. Contrary to what you've said, you haven't moved on. Feel bad for new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 (edited) thieves, thank you for your reply, yeah im getting to the grove of things again, i started going walking and hanging with friends and even talking to this new guy :] my ex is pissing me off now tho, he texts me i guess to talk and he keeps bringing up my friendship with the new guy, he doesnt need to know about my relationships with people, just like i dont ask him about his new girl, he shouldnt keep asking me all these questions about this guy im talking to, i just dont know whats going on in his head, hes so confusing.. any adivce lol you always seem to have good things to say! Nice! Keep doing those type of things, and even if you do end up having a few rough spots, I promise you that they will help you along with your healing. You're getting a very good start, Alexis, so congrats on that. Now, as for why your ex is acting the way he is, Popehappycat does have a point. There could be a few reasons for why he's asking about the new guy, but yes, jealousy could be the reason. And yes, I understand if he's truly jealous that you're talking to a new guy that it might feel kind of good to know he's the one wondering what you're up to now. You have some of his attention and his curiosity. So soak in it for just a few moments, okay? And then focus. What you need to focus on is that you cannot truly heal if you keep talking to your ex, Alexis, or if you keep letting him text you like that... even as friends. Some exes, though they say nothing will ever happen between you again, still like to know that they have some type of hold on you (platonic or not). What I would personally do is tell him that you two need to take a break from talking (besides matters concerning your son), and no more personal questions like who's seeing who. It's not helping you, and you can't let it hurt you. You don't ask about his dating life, so he doesn't ask about yours either. Edited November 20, 2011 by Thieves Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 20, 2011 Author Share Posted November 20, 2011 Thieves and popehappycat thank you for the responses, i know i just keep contradicting myself in this who ordeal and i try not to but a lot of it just idk gets to me a little but both of you are exactly right, he was the one who let me go and if he's jealous now or whatever is going on in his head then thats his problem now, not mine. he has a new girl himself so he shouldnt be worried about whats going on with me anymore, he should worry about his new girl and hope she doesnt go running back to her husband either. im sick of this already, ive been going through this since the summer of 2010 and its been 3 times hes done this and then cries that he wants me back, this is the 3rd strike and he is now OUT! hopefully everyone will keep giving me advice weather it is harsh or not i love the feed back! from now on, im not writing about my ex and im starting this as a real coping journal Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 20, 2011 Author Share Posted November 20, 2011 tonight has been pretty good, having nice alone time watching a movie and talking to some friends on facebook, i feel like tomorrow is going to be a great day eh, my ex came around earlier to pick up some clothes of his and i was outside smoking a cig and when he came out he tried to talk to me, i really didnt care, he stood there for a while and asked me if i was ok and i said yeah and he said i looked mad, which i wasnt but he always says i look mad, anyways he left and i felt good, i didnt care, i didnt think anything of him, he needs to just stop coming around its been an everyday thing for like 3 days already, anyways the thing with this new guy isnt gunna go anywhere, i thought it would but eh haha doesnt seem like anything is there. just a good friend? i think so lol anyways im taking the advice that i was given in a post before and it feels good Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexisMacabre Posted November 20, 2011 Author Share Posted November 20, 2011 today is a down day for me, i have feelings of anxiety and i cant understand why when i was feeling so great, i hate this feeling, this is the worst feeling i can ever have, im going to go visit my mom today so i hope this will keep my mind off of things and make me feel better, i need to get away from this town and this house, the room im in has so many memories and i hate it, im planning on leaving soon, hopefully i can endure being here for a little while longer then im going to pack up and leave this town and all its memories. right now even tho my ex thinks were friends, im not going to talk to him, if he texts about something stupid im not gunna answer and thats it because i need to get away from him even tho he will always be in my life for our son, thats all he needs to be in my life for, my emotions towards him have changed so dramatically, i dont care when i see him, i dont care to talk to him but i need to get out of here and start something for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
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