irc333 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I was reading this one dating profile (of course, part of her "numbered" criteria list) That "He must have friends" That you don't have a GROUP of friends, that you're not well liked, and thus won't be liked by her either. Accurate or inaccurate? Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Did it just say "must have friends" or did it expand on that? What age range are these women you are finding on line. That is an important bit of info. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 It demonstrates that you're likeable enough to have friends. I don't think a lack of friends necessarily means that you're not likeable, but it's easy for people to draw that conclusion when making broad statements about what they want or don't want on a dating site. Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Just like one of the other posters, the age range that you're in could factor in. I'm in my 40's and I find that by this point in time many men have given up their friends as they went through life. I am very social and have a lot of friends and if I'm dating a guy who doesn't have any friends of his own and looks to me to be his only entertainment, etc. that would feel like a job to me. By the end of my long term marriage I was my X's only friend and it was too much responsibility on me. I think people should be well rounded in that way. So if I meet a guy in his 40's that doesn't have friends I wouldn't think of it as a sign that the guy is unlikeable I would just think maybe it wasn't that important for him to maintain friendships through the years and that would bother me because it is important to me. just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I wouldn't make it as blunt as that person, but I get that gist into all my profiles. Everyone I ever dated OLD who didn't have but one or two friends turned out crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 She doesn't want loners. She wants a man with a life. She should be careful though...as we could see her later complain how her boyfriend is all doing the "bro" thing too much and "won't grow up". Link to post Share on other sites
Neuroticfish Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 She doesn't want loners. She wants a man with a life. Exactly this. She doesn't want someone who expects her to fill 100% of his social interaction needs. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Older men especially look to their wives to set up their social lives. That is why men take it hard after divorce because most of the friends side with the wife. That is probably a reason men are so quick to remarry after divorce compared to women, who have a built in support network. Or why widowers die sooner after the death of a spouse than merry widows do, who go on cruises and party! I have no problem being my guy's best friend. Plenty of women complain about the bad influence of their men's friends, so it's a double edged sword. People always find something to complain about! Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 She doesn't want loners. She wants a man with a life. She should be careful though...as we could see her later complain how her boyfriend is all doing the "bro" thing too much and "won't grow up". Actually, where she is located geographically, once people are together or married, they're pretty much fixated on each other and functions 99% of the time, and pretty much don't do anything else with other people hardly at all. I had a friend that was like that , they're married, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of them. Except maybe I get an occasional invite to their B-day parties or holiday functions which is nice. But that's bout it. And it's hard enough to make friends in small towns, because everyone is so clickish. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I wouldn't put it in a profile, but only because for me, it goes without saying. I wouldn't date a guy who doesn't have a strong core group of friends either. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Just like one of the other posters, the age range that you're in could factor in. I'm in my 40's and I find that by this point in time many men have given up their friends as they went through life. I am very social and have a lot of friends and if I'm dating a guy who doesn't have any friends of his own and looks to me to be his only entertainment, etc. that would feel like a job to me. By the end of my long term marriage I was my X's only friend and it was too much responsibility on me. I think people should be well rounded in that way. So if I meet a guy in his 40's that doesn't have friends I wouldn't think of it as a sign that the guy is unlikeable I would just think maybe it wasn't that important for him to maintain friendships through the years and that would bother me because it is important to me. just my 2 cents. I got friends. Their either my age (40) and married or 30 & single. I also have my kids every weekend & a few days during the week. Then I got my projects. Plus it's cold out. can't gold. I don't "hang out" I spend time with my kids, do my own thing and sometimes do things with my friends. I do not need a woman around me 24/7 or even more than twice a week. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Anyone who put the ridiculous criteria "must have friends" in their dating profile strikes me as rather stupid and superficial. The red flag is waving in the other direction for me. Interesting. I feel exactly the opposite. I don't think I put it in my profile, but I certainly would only have been interested in a man who had people close to him in his life, who he knew and who knew him. A person without friends? That's the big red flag to me. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Actually, where she is located geographically, once people are together or married, they're pretty much fixated on each other and functions 99% of the time, and pretty much don't do anything else with other people hardly at all. I had a friend that was like that , they're married, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of them. Except maybe I get an occasional invite to their B-day parties or holiday functions which is nice. But that's bout it. And it's hard enough to make friends in small towns, because everyone is so clickish. Well, I've told you in the past you should just move. I know if I lived in a small town, can't find love or decent friends...I'd leave. Link to post Share on other sites
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