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I feel like a failure


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fortyninethousand322

At least right now I do. I don't know whether to consider this a rant or not, but I am seeking some advice if anyone wants to offer some.

 

In May, I quit my job that I had for nine years. It was just a part time retail gig, making not that much money. It felt like the right move: my long time boss was retiring (she has terminal cancer), I was graduating college, and it was going to be the last "free" summer for me and my friends. I spent the summer enjoying myself and applying to as many jobs as humanly possible and trying to network like crazy. I don't regret quitting (I was really unhappy with the position and the company as a whole) but here it is 6 months later and I'm still unemployed. I'm not broke (I have enough savings to cover about 4-6 months of expenses) but I'm not anywhere near satisfied with things.

 

Out of all the job applications (many still pending) I've gotten to the final round of consideration on one and an interview on another, but no job offers. Even the "low skill" retail positions I applied for weren't interested (I was overqualified apparently).

 

So now I'm completely disgusted with everything. I know I won't be able to find anyone while I'm unemployed and living at home but I don't see any way out this situation. And I'm getting more and more frustrated every day. Frustrated that I can't get a date, frustrated that I still live at home and frustrated that I can't find a job.

 

Anyone have any ideas? Words of support? Sympathy?

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You graduated college? What is your degree in? Why are you looking at retail? Have you considered moving to where jobs are more available?

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fortyninethousand322

My degree is in Middle East Studies. My original intent was something government/policy related, but I'm open to anything really. I've applied to some data analysis jobs, technical writing positions, DoD contractor jobs, etc. I'd prefer to stay out of retail unless it's only as a stop-gap until something better comes along.

 

The irony is this is actually one of the best places in the U.S. to be for jobs, especially in the industries that I'm looking at. If I want to live on my own I need to find something that makes above 25k a year (and that's if I'm living with roomates) I can't really do that making 9 bucks an hour.

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Middle East Studies?

 

I have no idea how to get a career out of that.

 

I'm doing retail as well since I'm still in college. I just use it as a way for extra money not covered by my financial aid.

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At least right now I do. I don't know whether to consider this a rant or not, but I am seeking some advice if anyone wants to offer some.

 

In May, I quit my job that I had for nine years. It was just a part time retail gig, making not that much money. It felt like the right move: my long time boss was retiring (she has terminal cancer), I was graduating college, and it was going to be the last "free" summer for me and my friends. I spent the summer enjoying myself and applying to as many jobs as humanly possible and trying to network like crazy. I don't regret quitting (I was really unhappy with the position and the company as a whole) but here it is 6 months later and I'm still unemployed. I'm not broke (I have enough savings to cover about 4-6 months of expenses) but I'm not anywhere near satisfied with things.

 

Out of all the job applications (many still pending) I've gotten to the final round of consideration on one and an interview on another, but no job offers. Even the "low skill" retail positions I applied for weren't interested (I was overqualified apparently).

 

So now I'm completely disgusted with everything. I know I won't be able to find anyone while I'm unemployed and living at home but I don't see any way out this situation. And I'm getting more and more frustrated every day. Frustrated that I can't get a date, frustrated that I still live at home and frustrated that I can't find a job.

 

Anyone have any ideas? Words of support? Sympathy?

 

I have tons of sympathy for you having been where you are when I was in my 20s, and find myself again now that I"m 40 and trying to finish graduate school. Being unemployed is difficult because it causes distorted thinking about your self-worth. I know because it affected me like that and I am trying to recover my self-esteem right now. As far as living at home you are super lucky. You should be grateful that your parents let you live at home rent-free until you can find a full-time job in your related field.

 

Have you considered graduate school at all? Instead of worrying about being unemployed, fill up your time going to job support groups. I don't know what those are called in the UK, but here in the U.S. we have non-profit agencies that offer unemployment support groups, job networking groups that meet regularly, and all kinds of employment-related activities to help people feel worthwhile while they get back on their feet looking for employment.

 

As far as dating goes; dating someone will not help you feel better about yourself. You need to feel good about yourself to attract the right kind of person. Plenty of people date successfully when they are unemployed. Do you want to date just so you don't have to think about being unemployed? Also, if you do date, make sure your date knows you are unemployed, and plan your dates around free events and activities until you get back on your feet. You'll be fine. You are young. If you were my age, I'd tell you to panic. That's what I"m doing; panicking because I have no support system to help me except for state and county services which doesn't guarantee that I'll get the help I need anyway. Be grateful that you're not in my shoes; living off food stamps, state health insurance while I try to finish my grad school program, and am completely broke living off my student refund money which means I will have 100K student loans for a teaching license and masters in education, because 50K of that is for living expenses. If I quit my grad school program now, I have student loan payments I can't afford for a degree and license I never got. So I have to finish, my livelihood depends on it. Be grateful you have parents to help you and support you financially. I don't.

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You could try to find an internship in one of the countries in the Middle East. When abroad, you will meet all kinds of interesting people and broaden your horizon. It will offer you a good opportunity for networking and last but not least, it's also good for your CV.

 

How come you didn't get a job offer yet, if the area in which you are looking for does have many job opportunities? What are the reasons?

Edited by PlumPrincess
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You're plugging away, 49, so you WILL find a job.

Yes, it can feel never-ending because it's a slow process

but because you're putting in so much effort, it will happen.

 

Might I suggest focusing on one thing?

Just the job for now.

Let the dating stuff go and tackle it later.

The job--the living situation--the dating.

In that order.

Don't let your mind run amok, catastrophizing about the future, and telling you the present is all crap.

Keep your eye on the prize and just focus on the job for now.

 

Good luck.

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The job market has opened up a bit recently. Now is a great time to get a job. By the way, recruiters are dying to find people so they can earn their bonus. My boyfriend and I have had recruiters calling us for the past few weeks. My boyfriend ended up doing a job upgrade and I'm working on the same.

 

I suggest you get your resume up on sites so recruiters will contact you. Try general and technical sites. There are a ton of job boards out there. A lot of the jobs will be entry level, but will pay so much better than retail.

 

You are in a good position to start a career. You have a degree and are willing to learn a field. A lot of companies are looking for bright, young people. And you worked in one of the lowest paying industries. You will be incredibly happy with the pay in other job fields.

 

Another track is to get yourself in with temp agencies. They pay pretty terrible, but still much better than $9 an hour. Also, some temp positions go permanent.

 

Beef up your skills that are marketable and put them on your resume. It is not hard to learn a new software program such as Excel, Photoshop, or a million others in a week or so.

 

Good luck in yourself and please don't go back to retail. The pay is in the basement. You'd be better off learning a trade such as plumbing or carpentry that standing at a register.

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