lemonworld Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I'll never have sex again, women think I'm disgusting, my life is a nightmare and I need to kill myself. Link to post Share on other sites
jsd43953 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Relax take a deep breath. If you put so much worth to sex you will never attract let alone receive it. Dont get me wrong sex is great but when we put the act itself on a pedastal like that we damage ourselves. I can clearly see that you are in a hurt and self destructive state. We all ahve been there, but realize this love for yourself, confidence in yourself, these are what you should strive for. Once that is in place you will find what you are looking for. But if you just focus on sex..you are just asking for heartbreak after heartbreak and to fill empty. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 (edited) Sex isn't that big of a deal, but your self esteem is. Once you've worked on that you will find yourself attracting others just due to your confidence. No need to do anything you can't take back. Give life time and you will find your motivation. "There is no shame in falling, There is only shame if you refuse to rise once again." Edited November 17, 2011 by Philosoraptor Link to post Share on other sites
NYOrLAGuy Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 i hope the fact that you're posting here means you already know that you don't really want to do it... but please, by all means, if these thoughts continue to permeate through your mind, call a profession counselor. You CAN and WILL get through this... and when you do do, you will find yourself strengthened by the journey, and strength is sexy to women! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonworld Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Sex isn't that big of a deal... Are you out of your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
kaleidoscope Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Sex has its importance. But love is so much more powerful. Go find someone to love. Someone you respect and care about. You never know who your dream girl is, it may have very little to do with looks. Love her. Whether or not she gives back love is not always the point. Just love and you'll learn and see that it wasn't the sex you were after. I'm in love with someone and she knows but I can't be with her. But I don't regret a second of loving her. Then you'll know what you're looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I'll never have sex again, women think I'm disgusting, my life is a nightmare and I need to kill myself. Titania showed a fair bit of interest in you in one of your earlier threads: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3056903#post3056903 No need to give up hope quite yet, young man. x Link to post Share on other sites
Dannie142 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Believe me, I have been there. But let me point something out. When these thoughts go through your head and you hear that little voice...doesn't it say you are not good, you are disgusting, you will never have sex again....? I doubt that voice is saying I am not good, I am disgusting, I will never have sex again. That's because the voice telling you those horrible things in your head is the enemy and he will get in any way he can. You have to stop letting him in and the way you do that is to profess the name of the Lord. Ask God to come into your heart and remove your pain because He will, I promise you. Surround yourself with people who love God because right now the enemy is bearing down on you and he will win if you let him. Don't let him win!! God is always right by you and He will help you. You are right! He wants you to be courageous. It says in Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.*John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Perhaps this would be worthwhile to read: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/. While sex is awesome, there are a myriad of other reasons to live... and a myriad of things that can bring joy. Appreciating what you have right now will help to alleviate your spirits tremendously. You just have to look a bit deeper in the things around you... they're there........... What would you say you think your purpose in life is? Do you believe you have one? Finding something that grounds you to strive towards will allow you to see that life's worthwhile and meaningful too (despite whatever it is that you don't currently have. It's really about what you *do* have and *will* have)... I know it doesn't help to relay such things to someone in the midst of a nightmare ------- (in the midst of my own, seldom have such things helped) ------- but one thing that can be counted upon is that all things change. You don't really know if you'll never have sex again / be loved romantically... it doesn't do you any good to tell yourself you won't. So don't. Hard times pass whether one's life ends or not. People can bring them on or drag them out, but they can also push them away and quell them. What has helped me has been looking at the "****" in life as "gifts" - Everyone suffers and faces hardships. Treating those experiences as gifts, as opportunities to grow, really does lessen the degree of pain and the time spent in it. Instead of mourning and lamenting over things that seem out of our hands, it is much more productive to look at what *is* within them. You *can* reshape the nightmare you're experiencing into something wonderful... I suggest you seek out some kind of aid wherein you can find the tools to do so. Self-help crap (seminars/videos/books/whatever) have jewels to use --- conversing with older and more experienced people can be beneficial --- exploring new activities (even if they seem off-putting initially) can be good --- all kinds of things. There's so much out there... Link to post Share on other sites
Steelrain322 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Buy a fleshlight. Problem solved. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Buy a fleshlight. Problem solved. Toys cannot compensate for an actual warm breathing body that responds to your touch and stimuli......... etc. etc. etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Berlington Bob Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Just in case the other posts here dont help It will be ok time heals all... In Basic Training I was really down... felt like it would never end... a lot like it feels now. But I found a guy who was having troubles too and he had a motto: "This too will pass". Not sure if its from the bible or his AA meetings but it turned out to be true. Just keep repeating it and you will start to believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 This is something I think about nearly every day and for pretty much the exact same reasons. Sex has its importance. But love is so much more powerful. Go find someone to love. Someone you respect and care about. You never know who your dream girl is, it may have very little to do with looks. Love her. Whether or not she gives back love is not always the point. Just love and you'll learn and see that it wasn't the sex you were after. The first thing I need to say is how unhelpful this post is. Do you really think that he can't have sex but has a girl who loves him? Maybe the problem isn't that he just can't get sex, but isn't getting any love either? Perhaps this would be worthwhile to read: While sex is awesome, there are a myriad of other reasons to live... and a myriad of things that can bring joy. Appreciating what you have right now will help to alleviate your spirits tremendously. You just have to look a bit deeper in the things around you... they're there........... I know it doesn't help to relay such things to someone in the midst of a nightmare ------- (in the midst of my own, seldom have such things helped) ------- but one thing that can be counted upon is that all things change. You don't really know if you'll never have sex again / be loved romantically... it doesn't do you any good to tell yourself you won't. So don't. Yes, it's impossible to know whether or not one will never have sex/be loved again. But things start getting really difficult when events just don't turn out right and hopes get dashed, over and over again. When there is no more hope, it's really hard to think of a reason to keep going. What would you say you think your purpose in life is? Do you believe you have one? Finding something that grounds you to strive towards will allow you to see that life's worthwhile and meaningful too (despite whatever it is that you don't currently have. It's really about what you *do* have and *will* have)... One question I'm struggling with is, is life worth living if you're going to be alone for the rest of it? It means never having children, always coming home to an empty house, never being loved by anybody, never getting to love anybody and then there is all the sex stuff to miss out on. Of course there are people who don't have the above and are living happy lives. But I think the key is that they don't desire them, so they are fine being without. Right now I don't know why I go to work, or school. Why do I do things I don't enjoy? For what purpose, to get a better job so I can make more money? If I'm still going to be alone in the end, why bother? I highly doubt a miracle will happen and I find somebody who'll fall in love with me. Junk like that only happens in movies. Link to post Share on other sites
Berlington Bob Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 One question I'm struggling with is, is life worth living if you're going to be alone for the rest of it? The Buddah seemed to think so... Maybe you guys should look into Buddism. Or at least google the story of the Buddah. It's pretty interesting and gives you a good perspective on what really matters in life even if you are of another religion or none at all. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 whats going on with you lemonworld that you came to this conclusion? and how are you doing today? hope your feeling better and working it out Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Even the gross man can have lots of sex! Why is life a nightmare? Be happy for the things you do have! I can relate to being unhappy and overwhelmed at times. Just remember a time that was good and snap yourelf out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Steelrain322 Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Toys cannot compensate for an actual warm breathing body that responds to your touch and stimuli......... etc. etc. etc. A warm breathing body is what he wants? No he wants his dick wet lol. He didn't say I'm disgusting no woman will ever cuddle with me again. A Fleshlight does a good job of killing the sex drive atleast for the rest of your day lol, but yes it doesn't come close to the whole sex experience. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Yes, it's impossible to know whether or not one will never have sex/be loved again. But things start getting really difficult when events just don't turn out right and hopes get dashed, over and over again. When there is no more hope, it's really hard to think of a reason to keep going. I know, and I feel for that. But you can either succumb to failure and ensure more or you can use failure to strengthen your resolve and to learn as much as you can from each one. If you're blaming external forces for your issues, then I don't think things are going to stand much of a chance at changing. Even if one is a victim, they need to find a way to look at things differently. Otherwise they will CONTINUE to be a victim... and essentially continue being miserable, to continue BEING helpless (because they think they are), and continue missing out on so much. (And let's be real... it's just over-kill to "let" yourself be defeated - the "reality" is that only you can truly defeat yourself. Things cannot always go right, especially for everyone at every given moment in time - "chaos" is inevitable... but it *can* be minimized or maximized... and experienced beneficially or experienced to an unnecessary and excessive detriment to one's self and often to those around them. I can't stress enough that positive self-perception is crucial in adapting to the ways that the world can seem to crumble around one's feet... [whether or not the person primarily caused it and or others around them did] having a *positive* perception doesn't make someone invulnerable/invincible, but it will sure as hell get them a lot further in life, and they will experience much more bliss along the way too... you find a way to enjoy the fall when the ground gives way, or you let fear and uncertainty antagonize you and cripple you even more. Either way you're falling. You have a better chance at landing safely and or finding some kind of matter to cling onto and climb back up if you adopt the former view --- One question I'm struggling with is, is life worth living if you're going to be alone for the rest of it? I don't think so. I'm awfully reclusive and would be happy to own a cabin in a desolate and beautiful forest... but I would still want to create things and "share" them (albeit in an indirect way) --- and I still want one companion to experience the rest of life with. Humans have inherent *needs* to connect to others - to feel connected, at least. Whether that connection is mutually real or not... and to "share" pieces of themselves with one another. I cannot see as to how life has any meaning when spent utterly alone - with no hope of ever encountering another cognizant life form... in any kind of manner. What is the point? It seems so very hollow... a lot of joy in life is derived *through* others --- whether it's in helping them or harming them (helping others is blatantly much more satisfying though)... But you don't really need to worry about that, do you? Unless you're stranded somewhere and cut off and the last thing you've been aware of was that everyone else was entirely decimated... even still hope (or denial) may push one through for some time. "What if..." you have to let "what if" lead you, not "what hasn't been so far"... inflict physical pain upon yourself any time you catch yourself thinking something self-derogatory -- smack, nibble, pinch -- what-evs. Seriously though, you need to STOP yourself when you begin to sink into self-harming thoughts. And TELL yourself something good about yourself. I don't care if you don't even really believe it --- every day write down or tell yourself 5 things that are GOOD about you and tell yourself that you LOVE YOURSELF. Stand in front of the damn mirror and sweet-talk your reflection It means never having children, always coming home to an empty house, never being loved by anybody, never getting to love anybody and then there is all the sex stuff to miss out on. Mm, these are some things you could consider in order to meet and connect with others (or even "work" towards) --- Foster parenting, renting out or even lending out a room (or rooms), getting involved in volunteer activities (which is a lovely way to meet diverse kinds of people), striving towards a new profession --- one that causes you to seep true passion out (is that what you're attending school for?), setting aside a savings to *travel* --- each of these things, among so much more, can increase the opportunities for you to meet someone who is compatible with you. Most people don't know that you exist - nor that I exist - and we don't know that they exist, either. You have to *get* out there as much as possible, in a variety of ways -------- and in any case, you will likely encounter things that you enjoy without even thinking about romance heh. Sex and romance are two areas out of dozens within life. There are many ways to connect to others. I certainly think sex and romance are important, but it'll occur when it occurs. Right now I don't know why I go to work, or school. Why do I do things I don't enjoy? For what purpose, to get a better job so I can make more money? If I'm still going to be alone in the end, why bother? I highly doubt a miracle will happen and I find somebody who'll fall in love with me. Junk like that only happens in movies. There are so many friggin people in this world... TOO many, in fact. You gotta look at yourself as a prize. Seriously. Not look down on others, but just know that one day you're going to make someone lucky (hopefully someone that you'll feel you're lucky to have too). Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Right now I don't know why I go to work, or school. Why do I do things I don't enjoy? For what purpose, to get a better job so I can make more money? If I'm still going to be alone in the end, why bother? I highly doubt a miracle will happen and I find somebody who'll fall in love with me. Junk like that only happens in movies. For most people, I would agree with the masses here and say put love on the back burner. But in your particular situation, I really think you do need a woman now. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I'll never have sex again, women think I'm disgusting, my life is a nightmare and I need to kill myself. Now I'm sure that's not true. I could say that there are a lot of women that find me disgusting. I'm not a very attactive person, I'm definitely a geek, I'm not athletic in the slightest and I have a medical condition that means that I sweat a lot when I'm even the tiniest bit anxious, nervous or even when the temperature is only mild (like 60F), which, as you can imagine, is incredibly embarrassing. But.... despite all of these things that I view as negative..... I have a girlfriend. It just took time to find someone that understands me for exactly who I am. Someone who sees my flaws but brushes them aside. Someone who wants to be with me regardless. There's someone out there for all of us, and there will be someone out there for you too, you've just got to keep going, lift your chin up and take the first step on the journey, and I know you're in a dark place now, but I assure you happiness can happen. Believe me, I was where you are now, but I took that first step and it does get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Right now I don't know why I go to work, or school. Why do I do things I don't enjoy? For what purpose, to get a better job so I can make more money? If I'm still going to be alone in the end, why bother? I highly doubt a miracle will happen and I find somebody who'll fall in love with me. Junk like that only happens in movies. How do you know that you will be alone until the end? Just because things don't seem like they're going the right way now, doesn't mean they will always be this way. No body can predict the future. You never know, maybe you'll get stuck in a lift with a stranger who may like you in a few weeks time. It's unlikely, I know, but it's these random and unforseen events that we should live for. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Hey original poster lemonworld. how's it going? have the responses here helped you any. hope youre getting your mail from Love Shack and hope this helps you. keep in touch with us and let us know. just drop a line in your poost. lots of people can relate to you. Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Suicide is a long term answer to a short term problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonworld Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I have a girlfriend. It just took time to find someone that understands me for exactly who I am... There's someone out there for all of us, and there will be someone out there for you too...I know you're in a dark place now, but I assure you happiness can happen. Renard, imagine that right after you fell in love with you girlfriend, everything went to Hell, and it was all your fault, and you were right back in that dark place with no hope in sight, and you'll have an idea of what I go through. A warm breathing body is what he wants? No he wants his dick wet lol. It took courage for you to say this, Steelrain. Suicide is a long term answer to a short term problem. Wow, did you come up with that all by yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Renard, imagine that right after you fell in love with you girlfriend, everything went to Hell, and it was all your fault, and you were right back in that dark place with no hope in sight, and you'll have an idea of what I go through. It took courage for you to say this, Steelrain. Wow, did you come up with that all by yourself? I heard it somewhere, I can't remember where though. Link to post Share on other sites
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