Author lemonworld Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I heard it somewhere, I can't remember where though. Yeah, J0N, everybody's heard it, and it's pabulum even when you get it right. Suicide isn't a "long term" solution; it's permanent. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 well i for one am glad you wrote back lemonworld and you know jon's intention was good. but you still didnt tell how you came to this conclusion about yourself, and why that has to remain true to your world. lemon..... 2 things i know for certain..and i am a woman. heres what really turns women on...when they look at you and think of you. our sex drive comes from our stimulated thinking. what sexually stimulates most of us womans thoughts is how well, a man treats us. does he listen to our problems and give sympathy and compassion over to them? or at least act like he does? listening to a woman is KEY. and giving comfort and support. not aloof comments like, "it'll be fine..get over it" or "i heard this all before" most women hate this. woman like a guy who will do what he says and says what he means...in terms of calling...picking up something at the store. maybe even thinking ahead of time about something. women like a man who will stop and look at them and notice them and not make a lame sex comment. but who will say...wow you cut your hair. you look so beautiful. or is that anew dress? wow you look great. i am dead serious when i say read men are from mars and women are from venus by john gray. if you never read another book again...buy that!!! now i know guys who i dont think are really physically attractive and yeah even look gross. (one really stands out in my mind). however..these guys have hearts of gold..not stone and treat women like princesses and have women, due to it. have healthy active sex lives. its true people need to groom themselves. it even mentions this in the bible and there is no shame to being groomed. that doesn't mean work out at the gym and have abs. that means keeping hair , body nails clean and smelling nice. and brushing teeth. people have to love you for 'who you are", but we ALL have to have basic grooming skills and communication skills that attract. period. we always need sensibility. it makes no sense to even want to sleep with someone who doesnt treat you the same, as you are giving out to someone. also you have to be gentle not grope a woman. that is a complete turn off. i mean maybe if youre married for 20 years...but even then. also..please i beg you. ...(lol) ..please...read mars and venus in the bedroom. men and women communicate and yes, get turned on in different ways. you need to know and understand the differences. 1) understand what turns a woman on by how you treat her all the while. 2) you cant rush her...you need to make her feel comfortable and accepted 3) you need to be well groomed. the basics is all...clean clothing too must be clean not new or fashionable. you dont have to be good looking....and to take this one step further to prove my point....look at JR from all my children and on dancing with the stars. the guy is scarred for life from being in iraq..almost disfigured, and he is still HOT!!!@ and not because hes famous. he got famous by being the cool person he is. hes HOT case closed. they chose him to be on all my children..he never acted in his life because he had personality. period! now hes on dancing with the stars and everyone knows him. the first day i saw him on the soap i thought wow..there something about him. and it was good. 4) its not true nice guys finish last. if it is their women are losers and not worthy of them. most women really want a "GOOD" man. but men think they are good because they do what makes them feel good to a women. you need to know what makes a women feel good. again lol period case closed. we sexes are the same ...but respond and hear things differently. 5) there have to be some form of manners. like you cant blow your nose on a women and think its all good. or belch every 5 minutes. if so see a doctor. i am not trying to be funny. i dont think there is anything funny about this. i was most concern when reading your post. i am glad to hear from you. one way or the other. i am seriously trying to support by giving helpful tips. really the 2 books are all you need to read. dont think its beneath you to pick them up. i have to go back and reread them. i hope i didnt hurt of offend in anyway....i definitely dont want to or mean to. take care. it can be better. its work. i know. but i think you will be happy with the pay -off in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 ps ignore all my typos and grammar.. yeah i am not perfect. but will you please buy just those 2 books. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonworld Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 (edited) IfiKnewThen, I appreciate that you took the time to put all that down. You know what? My problem all this time has been that I blow my nose on a women. I thought it was all good. Edited November 23, 2011 by lemonworld Link to post Share on other sites
Anna84 Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Perhaps this would be worthwhile to read: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/. While sex is awesome, there are a myriad of other reasons to live... and a myriad of things that can bring joy. Appreciating what you have right now will help to alleviate your spirits tremendously. You just have to look a bit deeper in the things around you... they're there........... What would you say you think your purpose in life is? Do you believe you have one? Finding something that grounds you to strive towards will allow you to see that life's worthwhile and meaningful too (despite whatever it is that you don't currently have. It's really about what you *do* have and *will* have)... I know it doesn't help to relay such things to someone in the midst of a nightmare ------- (in the midst of my own, seldom have such things helped) ------- but one thing that can be counted upon is that all things change. You don't really know if you'll never have sex again / be loved romantically... it doesn't do you any good to tell yourself you won't. So don't. Hard times pass whether one's life ends or not. People can bring them on or drag them out, but they can also push them away and quell them. What has helped me has been looking at the "****" in life as "gifts" - Everyone suffers and faces hardships. Treating those experiences as gifts, as opportunities to grow, really does lessen the degree of pain and the time spent in it. Instead of mourning and lamenting over things that seem out of our hands, it is much more productive to look at what *is* within them. You *can* reshape the nightmare you're experiencing into something wonderful... I suggest you seek out some kind of aid wherein you can find the tools to do so. Self-help crap (seminars/videos/books/whatever) have jewels to use --- conversing with older and more experienced people can be beneficial --- exploring new activities (even if they seem off-putting initially) can be good --- all kinds of things. There's so much out there... I am really amazed sometimes with the spot-on and well worded advice or other pieces of texts written down on this forum!! So, as I am not able to even come close the above quality advice articulated, I just have to give you some of my own experience. yesterday I felt like complete ****, and I had to go to the first lesson of a dance course I signed up for. I really did not feel like going out and thought I'd only feel more miserable; can't I just stay indoors underneath the covers? But after, when i came back I felt so much better, and at that point I remembered that I always feel better every single time I went out and did something different, meet new people and get distraction, finding out that there are actually things I like doing besides worrying about relationships/break-ups and everything which has to do with it. I commanded myself (because I tend to forget in those lonely awful moments) to NOT FORGET about the benefits of getting out of the house and doing new things. Almost always have I felt tons better, especially when I've had to do something physical like sports. My mantra is thus, get out as often as you can, breathe in fresh air, try out different things and move.. This really, really helps me. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 lol lemon..you really crack me up.(really laughing out loud here) why are you so freaking cynical tho. you reach out. people try to help. so i was only making a point. its dont be gross. so why??? please answer the question then do YOU feel youre gross to women? otherwise i am outta here. you wanta alienate yourself fine. throws hands up in the air. ws genuinely trying to be a LS friend of some sort. later. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 i am also having a bad day Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonworld Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 IfIKnewThen, thanks for all your advice. I'm sorry that you're having a bad day. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Bleh, I wouldn't put too much stock into what IfIKnewThen is saying. While I'm sure she means well, her advice will not get a woman attracted to a man. I've naturally been doing everything she said for many years and I'm still single. None of it has helped me at all. Women only care about good looks and/or money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonworld Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 Bleh, I wouldn't put too much stock into what IfIKnewThen is saying. While I'm sure she means well, her advice will not get a woman attracted to a man. I've naturally been doing everything she said for many years and I'm still single. None of it has helped me at all. You mean you stopped blowing your nose on a women? Wow. How long did it take for you to realize that it wasn't all good? lol, all kidding aside, IfiKnewThen's advice seems to be predicated on the idea that we've gotten a woman's attention in the first place. Women only care about good looks and/or money. If this is true, women are twice as good as men. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 very few women who dont think the same way, and because a lot of women they get hurt along the way, they change to the kind that care only about good looks and money. Link to post Share on other sites
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