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i think i'm healing...?


NYOrLAGuy

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just browsing through the ladies on match.com last night, and boom, the ex pops up in the search. after all the facebook blocking, picture deleting and tears shed, here she is again. with a g-d hot as eff sexy picture too.

 

but you know what? after the initial sinking of the heart (and damn it's really a weird physical feeling, right?) it occurred to me that it's OK. no, i'm still far from over it, and i still want her back, but i've always said she'll need to do this to see i'm the one for her. which isn't to say i want her to have HER heart broken, or have shi--y dates or whatever. I just want her to find what I believe is the truth on her own.

 

So while it's not healing per se, I feel an odd sense of calm, knowing this has to happen, and it's part of the process. And as much as I usually want and feel the urge to control the uncontrollable, this is so much out of my hands, that even my weird brain is OK with letting it be. NC continues, I'm living my life, even just asked a girl out (a former freelancer at my work, via e-mail, still waiting on a response) and am diving in head first on some creative projects I've been neglecting.

 

Life continues unabated...

 

(it was a damn sexy picture though... *sigh*) :)

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haha, glad it was a sexy picture, I remember when I saw a picture of my ex and showed it to one of my butt buddies on here, he said "Wow she smiles like a retarded kid at chuckie cheese"

 

I dont think I've ever laughed that hard in my life.

 

Go with the flow and keep having fun, I would suggest stay off the internet dating websites, you are going to get hurt. If you haven't noticed, its a bunch of rebounders... you, your ex, I did it, a lot of people do it.

 

If you REALLY pay attention, you can actually see that some of these girls are extremely needy and desperate =)

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haha, yeah, good one! it's definitely good to laugh in times like these. i actually when i first looked at the picture thought, "well, i've seen her with her makeup off!"

 

i did deactivate my account right after though, cuz i'm not ready. we originally met on match.com so i guess in the back of my head i knew it was only a matter of time before i'd see her on there again. i already had my rebound from there, and i guess now it's her turn.

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