Getting over lying ex

[tbooie]

Broke up with my ex-boyfriend two days ago because he is a compulsive lier. He was talking to another girl and even made plans with her. Caught him in a lie and he told me he'll stop it all and everything will be "perfect". He also told me he had mommy issues because he doesn't have a very good relationship with her and he needed attention. Also had the nerve to tell me it was because I didn't show him enough love. I believed him for a good 10 hours then I got a grip of myself and packed my bags and left. While I was driving home he called me non-stop and messaged me saying "what happened I thought we agreed to work on this and make things right, why are you walking out of my life when things can be perfect. I really hope you reconsider and come back". When I got home that message really messed me up...I wondered if I was making a mistake. But I found out (though his phone bill) that the whole time after I confronted him he was still texting the girl. Even up till when I decided to leave he was still texting her. I called him and told him that we was a lier and confronted him about still texting her...he told me he wasn't and what proof did I have. I told him it didn't matter how I knew but I know and told him to get out of my life. He told me he loves me and wants me to know he'll be here waiting for me with open arms waiting for me to come back to him. The next day he contacts me thoughout the day saying how much he misses laying next to me watching the stars...asked how I was doing..and few hours later brings up our puppy and told me he ate something funny and threw it up.

 

I never responded back to any of his messages...I was really tempted to respond to the last one about our puppy...but he isn't my puppy anymore.

 

Any advice or a reality check...I know that walking away was a good thing but its so hard especially at night. At times I find myself being weak and thinking if he promise to stop all this I would go back to him...but once a lier always a lier.

[shayla]

There is nothing worse than to find out that you have wasted your time with a compulsive liar. Everything comes into question, and you no longer believe anything he says. Very unsettling....you made a good call. And yeah, liars keep right on lying. My ex told me everything I wanted to hear, and every time I walked out on him he cried begged pleaded and promised, and I would go back. only to end up like this.

 

If I'd walked away after catching him in the first lie, I would not be here.

Since he's been gone, after the hurt subsided, I feel like my old self again. Content, peaceful, happy, blessed. Nothing can make me crazier than a liar.

 

Good luck to you.

[daisydukes]

As you read in my thread I am currently in that same kind of situation. My boyfriend flat out lied to me changed his story twice and I caught on I confronted him and he accused me of being paranoid. Please.... Shouldn't relationships be about trust and honesty?? OP you are smart you realized it before it got too late. I am hurt and confused and wondering why my boyfriend would do such a thing when he supposedly loves me. Do not beat yourself up you did the right thing. Once a liar always a liar or once a cheat always a cheat.

[HappyFlower]

I know how badly you want him to say he's changed, and you think that *this* time, he's learned that lying hurt you and won't do it again. It's not usually like that

 

I had a similar thing with my last ex - I caught him out in lie after lie, and he always justified it by saying he worded his responses so that he wasn't actually lying, just not telling the whole truth. When that didn't work, he turned the biggest issue around on me and said I had a 'personal vendetta' against his female best friend (he'd lied to me for 9 months saying they never had a relationship), and that I should still just trust him anyway - he did very little to gain my trust back.

 

Lairs want everything to be their way, and have little or no regard for anyone else's feelings or opinions. If they lied to you once, they will again because they got away with it for a period of time, so they think they'll just hide it better next time. Knowing that, you will question everything they say. Not good relationship material.