lilyblue Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 -Started dating one of my very good friends after he pursued me for months, swore he was ready for a relationship. He repeatedly told me while we were dating how much he loved spending time with me, I made him so happy, I was the best part of his day, he'd had a crush on me since the day he met me, etc, etc. -He got slightly distant after a month -2 weeks after that he completely disappeared -After I realized I was being ignored I emailed him one time where I expressed my feelings on the situation (it was polite yet explained how hurt I was and how rude and disrespectful his non-acknowledgement of me was). He also ignored this. -I found out he was back with his ex-wife (20 year relationship, he's in his mid 30's) - not from him - I saw him 6 weeks after I last heard from him. I took the high road, was polite and my normal self. We didn't talk that much. He came over to me and hugged me goodbye and eeked out an "i'm.... sorry...." That was a week and a half ago. I really, really, really want to hear from him. I can assume from how he was acting that night that he feels guilty. I can guess that she does not want him to talk to me (she knows me, dislikes me b/c of feeling threatened by our friendship during their marriage). I hate to say that I can kind of understand his desire to get back with someone he has such a history with. I also wonder if it will work. I really hope that he comes back to me sooner rather than later with acknowledgement of his actions. I miss him so much and sometimes wonder if I should try to stay in contact with him to keep me in his head. I don't want him to forget about me. I know it sounds pathetic but that is about the only thing that would make me happy right now. I keep wondering if they are going to fail and if at that point he would be big enough to come back and offer me and explanation and an apology. How do I proceed? Link to post Share on other sites
Lis007 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I know its tough but hey think of his wife of 20 years.... Let him try and mend his marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyblue Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Yeah it's hard. She left him out of the blue almost two years ago. They already tried to get back together a year ago and it failed quickly. He said it quickly became clear why things had failed in the marriage. She dated one of their friends during this past year and from timing seems like she came back in the picture likely when they broke up. Just a couple of weeks before things started back up between them he said how tired he was of dealing with her. And then poof! Vanished on me. I wish timing would have been better. I wish I could still talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine103 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 You already reached out to him and expressed how you felt about what happened and he ignored you. Doesn't that say something? If he really cared about you, he would have responded with something positive or at the least, "I'm sorry I hurt you." I think you should go NC and move on, but don't burn any bridges, if you still want to maybe get together with him in the future. If it is really killing you and you need to contact him one last time, go ahead. Speak your peace and then stick to NC and move on with your life, knowing that you tried and you didn't cause any drama between you two. Link to post Share on other sites
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