Boyfriend and Porn!

[MemeMo]

OKay so Ive been with my boyfriend for two years and recently I found this e-mail adress on a web site where he is in 2 clubs-> Porn Master and Sexy photos..He doesent know I went on his name and found he recieves pics daily of nude girls .. him and a bunch of other guys.. I dodnt think he was like this. I am so mad.. but I dont think I should be. It makes me feel very insecure about myself.. like I am not enough. I tell him if he wants to look at porn look at it with me. I will do anythign them girls will do.. he lies to me about it too. and tells me he doesent do it a lot but the e-mails say he has been on everyday. I dont know what to say .. HELP!

 

 

 

<3Monique<3

[faux]

Originally posted by MemeMo

OKay so Ive been with my boyfriend for two years and recently I found this e-mail adress on a web site where he is in 2 clubs-> Porn Master and Sexy photos..He doesent know I went on his name and found he recieves pics daily of nude girls .. him and a bunch of other guys.. I dodnt think he was like this. I am so mad.. but I dont think I should be. It makes me feel very insecure about myself.. like I am not enough.

 

The porn is not the problem; it is your insecurity. You should not feel upset about him viewing porn, unless he is doing it to such an excess that he is ignoring your intimate needs, or treating you with utter disrespect.

 

I tell him if he wants to look at porn look at it with me. I will do anythign them girls will do.. he lies to me about it too. and tells me he doesent do it a lot but the e-mails say he has been on everyday. I dont know what to say .. HELP!

 

Viewing porn is a very private thing, as viewing porn often involves masturbation. Once you get into a routine of doing something privately you very rarely wish to share it with anyone else. He lies because it is embarrassing, and he most likely feels you are invading his privacy.

 

You should not have gone into his personal accounts. I make it understood in relationships that no one is to enter into my accounts, and I do not enter into theirs. Things get misconstrued, and I OWN those accounts and I do not want anyone else going into them.

 

I would talk to him about why this bothers you, without making him feel guilty. Explain as best as you can your position on things, and be sure to explain that you are insecure. Unfortunately, your insecurity is your own problem to deal with.

 

He can be more supportive, and I would hope he would explain why he views pornography, that he values you and appreciates your beauty, and that you've nothing to worry about. Opening up the lines of communication, and keeping them open, is what I believe would help in this situation. Overcoming your insecurities on your own would additionally make things a bit easier, but that is definitely a difficult problem to tackle.