lolalou Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 It's my 2 month anniversary of NC. We haven't spoken and only have seen each other twice at work. There was long eye contact and I died a little inside but that's been it. I'm having this urge to contact him to see if he misses me like I'm missing him right now. It comes in waves. But today I'm missing him very much. I've been romanticizing all the good times. I'm typing here so I hopefully will lose the urge to contact him. When will this end? Ugh. I just want to move on. He hurt me so badly. But I keep remembering that he said he was in love with me for years. How could he just snap out of it after dday (told me he loved his wife and not me and refused to give me the reason why his feelings changed)? My therapist said he was probably just saying that to get rid of me. And he probably doesn't love her if he's cheated so much. Staying married is convenient for him. Could he have lied to just try to break our strong ties. At one point in our final conversation he said "I can't talk or email with you. I have to try to be strong here. My kids are my focus right now so all my extra time needs to be for them?" (he was kicked out of the house at the time). Could he miss me still and love me still? For those that don't know i forced the dday on him. Link to post Share on other sites
SBC Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 (edited) ... My therapist said he was probably just saying that to get rid of me. And he probably doesn't love her if he's cheated so much. Staying married is convenient for him. Could he have lied to just try to break our strong ties. At one point in our final conversation he said "I can't talk or email with you. I have to try to be strong here. My kids are my focus right now so all my extra time needs to be for them?" (he was kicked out of the house at the time). Could he miss me still and love me still? For those that don't know i forced the dday on him. Why is your therapist discussing this with you?? The focus of therapy should be you and your motives, not him and his. Who cares why he did it, he did. Who cares if he loved you, he has chosen his marriage and his children and has told you as much. Accept what is, and don't worry about the rest. Keep moving forward and find the things in life that you love and focus on those. Edited November 18, 2011 by SBC Link to post Share on other sites
despicableME Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 You need to find another job ASAP, so you can TRULY move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolalou Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 I'm in counseling because I can't get past the "why" and his actions mattering to me. I'm not there yet , obviously. My therapist Does stress nothing about him matters. I think she was trying to get me to realize he's selfish and incapable of love. He didn't love me because he disposed me like a piece of trash. He doesn't love her either. His choice isn't about picking her over me. Which i'm struggling with too. He's selfish and his decision to stay his for his benefit only. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolalou Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 And he's job searching. He told me that and I've heard through the work rumor mill too Link to post Share on other sites
despicableME Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 ^That's good. You can never hope to move on, if you keep in contact with each other. I'm also in the process of either leaving my current situation, or moving into a different department. Someone needs to be proactive, so I guess it might as well be me. Link to post Share on other sites
beenburned Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Older&wiser, I agree! Link to post Share on other sites
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