Author manbehindthemask Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 Thank you 18Y, I will be back...very busy too over the holidays and will be traveling for awhile so I'll be quiet here for a week or two. You are SO right, nothing I read will keep me away....the emotions are so incredibly strong and it feels so right...I really do think it will work, but I know in the back of my head it could be a disaster for all. On that happy note, Happy Holidays....talk soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Are you having fun OP? This reads more like a story, than a person's complicated situation. Add in the fact that you are not really interested in anyone's advice, and I'm going to have to raise an eyebrow to you, sir. I call it creative writing trolling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author manbehindthemask Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 I call it creative writing trolling. Is that right? Sorry you don't know me and I can tell you this is NOT a creative writing exercise - I wish it were and I did not have to live this conflicted life day in and day out. I don't know whether to be happy or sad that you think my situation is so f'ed up it's can't possibly be true! My LLL and I have long talked about how our entire situation together would make a great story or movie...and I could give you further details that would make your head spin but I've already been honest enough for this to be recognizable to the "wrong" people if they read it... Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 My LLL and I have long talked about how our entire situation together would make a great story or movie... If you are targeting the audience who read "Harlequin Romances." Link to post Share on other sites
Author manbehindthemask Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 You INVITED this conflict into your life, you fooled yourself as evidenced by your posts and the sad thing is most everyone warned you. Your wife is going to be badly hurt and you don't give a crap, well you don't care enough to stop it or tell her the truth. I think you will let it go on a long time before you tell her, I'd say there will be a d day. Find your gonads and at least do the right thing by your wife and tell her the truth. You are right, I did...I can't deny that. I was fooling myself about my intentions, I knew what they were all along. I've wanted this day to come for a long time and I should have been honest with my W from the beginning about what I have always felt for Ann. I know that, I know I screwed up. I WILL take action, and I know you and most everyone probably things I wont, but my gut is that this is heading for a D on my end...what happens in the end with Ann only time will tell...but it is going to be a long, painful road and I feel a lot of guilt that innocent people will be hurt b/c of me...all that said, I still will endure it all if the end result is a happy reconciliation and life, ever after...right now we are both (Ann and I) planning and talking about that, but it's admittedly early and we are both very much caught up in it all right now, so I know emotions are running very high! I'm in a mess for sure! I do care for the advice even though I know I will just follow my heart in the end.... Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Well ManbehindTM, I am not sure if you are a troll or not, my thought is that I truly hoped that you were, in that way your BS wouldn't be spending Christmas with someone who was busy planning happily ever after with someone else, without her knowledge. Must say, your timeline is very woosh, one minute loving wife and not going anywhere with Ann, the next folding sheets and paying bills. This is why some people think you might be a troll. I also think you express yourself more like a female, but that is just me. TBH, I hope you do find your happily ever after, I also hope that you afford the same courtesy to your wife, so she can find her happily ever after too. Sauce for the goose and all that. I note that you say your wife all but forced you to get married, yet that you loved her in your OP, then didn't. Things like these make some people look at what and how you are saying things and wonder at the flip flop of it all. if you do nothing else, please tell your wife, the alternative is cowardly, self seeking and downright cruel. After that, I hope you and Ann go on to live your lives happily, but only after you have told your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Author manbehindthemask Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 So......if you are so sure about your feelings for Ann and her feelings for you, then why are you still looking at divorce as an option?? Your post indicates above that you aren't sure about a divorce. (Bolded) Something tells me you aren't sure of anything about Ann and that is why you are keeping your wife and will continue keeping your wife in the dark as long as possible. I would think you need to pull your head out of the clouds and make concrete plans, talk to your wife, talk to a lawyer. Set the wheels in motion. Do you have plans to do so, if so when? I still think you won't make the concrete moves because you need to be sure of Ann and right there is your biggest clue that you aren't being realistic. What is Ann doing to make this a reality? If a relationship is truly over, one does not need someone waiting on the sidelines. Until you starting talking to Ann again, I bet you thought your marriage was pretty good, right? That's just it...maybe I did think it was "ok" as in we don't fight, we are civil with each other, etc...but there is and never was any passion. My mood actually changes for the worst often when she gets home (i'm an optomist - obviously! ha, and my W is negative about most everything - that wears on you after awhile). Yes, I care for her, but it was and never will be what it could be w Ann - I think Ann and I bring out the best in each other (or worst I guess depending on your view!). Am I "sure" Ann will take the concrete action needed to make this a reality - I guess about as sure as she is of me right now. So far, just words...but actions will come. I know i've said it before but there are serious issues precluding action on her part for a cpl of months - if i told you you would understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 That's just it...maybe I did think it was "ok" as in we don't fight, we are civil with each other, etc...but there is and never was any passion. My mood actually changes for the worst often when she gets home (i'm an optomist - obviously! ha, and my W is negative about most everything - that wears on you after awhile). Yes, I care for her, but it was and never will be what it could be w Ann - I think Ann and I bring out the best in each other (or worst I guess depending on your view!). Am I "sure" Ann will take the concrete action needed to make this a reality - I guess about as sure as she is of me right now. So far, just words...but actions will come. I know i've said it before but there are serious issues precluding action on her part for a cpl of months - if i told you you would understand. Sometimes you don't know that you were missing something in your life until you find it. Or, in your case, you didn't know how much you were missing someone in your life until she came back. It sounds like you feel positive about this and know what you want. Only you two know the bond between you and how far you are willing to take it. There are many people (in fact mostly all of them) that post in these forums that have been betrayed and cheated on. So, you have to consider the source that some information (and guessing and predicting) is coming from here. Most people come here full of hurt and stick around for a long time afterwards. Not too many people find and post on a forum when their life is going great and all things are well. So consider that when reading here in this forum. I happen to think you have a chance and hope things turn out well for you. If you end up together then at least you will be living honestly. I wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
Fabian Montenegro Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Well ManbehindTM, I am not sure if you are a troll or not, my thought is that I truly hoped that you were, in that way your BS wouldn't be spending Christmas with someone who was busy planning happily ever after with someone else, without her knowledge. Must say, your timeline is very woosh, one minute loving wife and not going anywhere with Ann, the next folding sheets and paying bills. This is why some people think you might be a troll. I also think you express yourself more like a female, but that is just me. TBH, I hope you do find your happily ever after, I also hope that you afford the same courtesy to your wife, so she can find her happily ever after too. Sauce for the goose and all that. I note that you say your wife all but forced you to get married, yet that you loved her in your OP, then didn't. Things like these make some people look at what and how you are saying things and wonder at the flip flop of it all. if you do nothing else, please tell your wife, the alternative is cowardly, self seeking and downright cruel. After that, I hope you and Ann go on to live your lives happily, but only after you have told your wife. Right. Just like how I can't prove or dismiss the existence of God 100%, I can't say with absolute certainty that the OP is a troll. I can be sceptical. Anywho, if this is real, my advice is simple. Be honest with your wife; maybe after the holidays. Come to some sort of agreement because your heart clearly isn't entirely into the marriage. Pursue Ann in the most ethical way possible. Make some attempt to live a nice honest life where you and your beloved Ann get together. I realise that you probably won't do any of this because both the story and your life wouldn't be as dramatic and unnecessarily complicated if everybody acted in the most ethical way possible. Sort of like watching "Grave of the Fireflies" without the starving Japanese orphans or WW2. If you are targeting the audience who read "Harlequin Romances." How about the "Madame Bovary" crowd? Link to post Share on other sites
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