I miss her :(

[Sustugriel]

I'm not sure where else to turn but I have been absolutely not myself for over a week.

 

-Background

 

I am 25 years old, she is 23... We had been engaged since 2009, we met in 2006. I had been out of a fling with a previous flame, I was hurt for years and had become ready to love again. After meeting her I was absolutely smitten. I secretly fancied her for months, I was never brave enough to ask her to be with me; I always thought she was out of my league.

 

One day chance would have it, she came over and I was here...Long story short, it became obvious that we both had extreme feelings for the other. I risked everything to be with her. There was a family crisis at the time and I chose to ignore this crisis to pursue my love with her. This hurt many people in my family but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't believe she was the one for me.

 

Our relationship was a symphony of perfection, we were both blissfully happy for years. We began to spend every waking minute together; We could not get enough of each other. We went through junior college together, I was always there to help her in every step of the way. In turn, she gave me the confidence and motivation to succeed. We did everything together, fully sharing our lives and doing everything we enjoyed (which was largely one and the same) together.

 

I became involved with her family, connecting us together as if we were already married, we professed our love, I asked her in May 2009 if she would marry me and she said yes. We agreed that now wasn't the right time for a ceremony and we should wait until we graduate and own a place together. We could not have been more in love. After we finished junior college I ran into some bad luck, I could not find work; she had a job that she did not like. I encouraged her and was always there for her on a busy day. I worried for her constantly and was very protective of her when she would come home upset. November of last year we decided to take the edge off by taking a cruise together. By this time I was still unemployed but we were still both very happy.

 

Early this year I landed a great job. The unfortunate part is that I had to be working away from home, sometimes working 14 hour days. This put considerable stress on when we could spend time together. Often I would leave at 6:00a in the morning and not make it back until 10:00p. I missed her terribly. I asked her to please be ready to be with me when I returned home from work. I needed her emotional support to be able to survive such a heavy workload. For months we went about this, but it did put some stress on both of us. I didn't like the predefined schedule anymore than anyone else did, but I was doing what I had to do for us.

 

-The Crucible:

 

About 6 weeks ago, she lost her job. She was unemployed and hurt, I tried to be as helpful as I could, but my time was limited with my increasingly difficult work schedule. She became very hard to convince to be at my place when I came home. She was always trying to spend more time with her family. Probably due to the hurt of the job loss; I became more demanding in my requests; I realize this was a mistake, but I viewed it as it was a small thing to ask her to see me for a couple hours after we had spent the last 4 years through college and otherwise together... I was pushing her away and I didn't even know it

 

Last week, I called her, she was not home and wouldn't be home for hours as she was with her sister. I was upset, I told her that I was upset and I wanted her to be home by 6-7p. This was the last time I actually spoke to her

 

She didn't return home that night. I became extremely worried for her safety (again the male protectiveness kicks in). I called around, I asked everyone where she was. Nobody seemed to know. I got a text from her after midnight saying "I am safe, I will talk to you later." I found out the next day that she had stayed the night at her sisters' place. I knew that I screwed up, I felt awful, I knew she was mad at me and I decided to give her some space.

 

On thursday, I only sent her text messages saying how sorry I was for hurting her feelings, and how much I love her, that she is the one etc etc. I never heard back from her. It hurt so bad, I left early from work on thursday and took off friday. I missed her so much and I just wanted to see her face again. When I returned home from work on thursday, I noticed that my pictures of her on my desk were missing. A feeling of dread overwhelmed me, I tried to play it off "Oh I'm sure she just wanted to scan them," but in the back of my mind I knew it was bad news. I called my family and let them know that we were fighting and I wasn't sure why, but I may be losing control of the situation.

 

On friday, I found a note on my car. She describes that the note was incredibly difficult for her to write, accuses me of running a 'one-way' relationship, saying she felt restrained with this whole disagreement about her spending time with me vs her family. She left it with that she needs to find out who she is and what she wants from life, and needs to not have me holding her back...Basically. She said she was going to live with a family member a short distance away, and that she would know where to find me.

I am destroyed. I never knew I was hurting her or pushing her away with my 'scheduled' nonsense. If I had I would have stopped immediately. I was completely blindsided by this note...Up until I got the note I believed that she would never leave me and that this is just another bump in the road we can go through together. I still want to believe that. I succumbed to grief; I had to take off work for multiple days this week to attempt to cope. Nothing seemed to help, I ended up moving most of my stuff back home with my parents. There is still some stuff there, but removing it all seems as though I'm admitting defeat and our whole relationship is over

 

I haven't called or texted her since Friday, I am aware enough to know that continuing to pester her is just going to push her further away...I just don't understand any of this. I keep asking myself questions of "How could it get this bad? What did I do? Can't we just talk this out?" I am also feeling incredibly guilty, she left me for something I didn't realize, and I probably SHOULD have realized it. But why is there no 2nd chance? Why is this so unforgivable...is this how over 5 years of our flame, which burnt so brightly for so long is going to be extinguished? I don't want her last memory of me to be of me being upset with her. I've never felt so embarrassed and ashamed of something I said in my life.

 

Being without her is the single hardest thing I've ever done. My family/friends have been as supportive as they can, but it's as if there's something wrong with the world. This is ALL wrong. It's a nightmare I can't wake up from. All I've wanted since I've met her is to make her happy and fill her life with a loving boyfriend and husband. Now that she's gone I have no direction, no motivation, no confidence and no goals. I wonder why I even get out of bed. I think of nothing else besides her...I see her face everywhere. I know I'm supposed to be strong but honestly I don't really know how to. It's as if I've been hit by a bus, or worse. I'd probably take getting hit by a bus as an alternative. I now spend my nights bawling my eyes out like a little kid.

 

I can't even do the things I used to enjoy, we shared them all in life...everything I used to enjoy reminds me of her. The worst part in all of this is losing that friend...We used to just talk for hours and hours, now I don't really have anyone to talk to..

 

I am reaching out to everyone in this matter, I am NOT capable of handling it right now. I want another chance more than anything but I am not sure how to approach this situation other than playing the waiting game...I still don't understand why she would feel the need to do this. There's never been a problem we couldn't fix...

[Sustugriel]

After trying to get some inspiration from my friends and this forum. I realize this may be a GIGS situation...

 

She left with no real explanation and it was completely out of the blue. Perhaps she was scared of the commitment and the stress.

 

I have been so tempted to call her this morning. I miss her and I want her to know I still care.

 

Is there any hope?

[ChelseaLS]

I feel for you as that is how my relationship ended out of the blue (although he says we are on a 6 month break, I am trying to move on) and we were together for 6 years.

 

At this point respect her decision and give her space. Don't contact her, no texts, calls, emails, ect. She knows how much you care from your texts on thursday, so there is no need to re-enforce it. She may just see your texting again as smothering and an inability to move forward. I myself 44 days out constantly want to call my ex, but I refrain.

 

You are both young and if she has never been with anyone else before she may very well be scared of the commitment. That being said, my ex is 34 and scared of it. Unfortunately we can force the ones we love, we can only support them and love them, from afar by respecting their decisions and requests for space by implementing NC.

 

It will get better.

[Sustugriel]

Thank you for the support ChelseaLS.

 

I also believe that LC or flat out NC is the best bet for my sanity as well as any hope for resolving this. It's just implementing this is very difficult and your emotions override any rational thought.

 

If anything though, this scenario has taught me that if I am to trust anything, it's to trust my convictions and initial feelings on things. And right now my convictions tell me she may have been shacking up on me while I was at work..

 

..Of course, this could be just the roller coaster going from despair -> anger -> despair...who knows.

 

I appreciate any helpful words.

[nu464]

I miss you

I wish you were here

Can't wait to I see you

I thought about you today

It's no fun without you around

Send me a picture, I miss your face

My guy friends aren't as fun as you

I'm cutting class Friday because I can't wait to see you

I'm already thinking about things to do when we hang out

There is so many word to be speak if you really miss her, put your pride on your pocket.. Gudluck

[GymRat]

I know how you feel. Actually, most people on this site know how you feel so don't think your alone! It's a tough pill to swallow when someone you love so much just gets up and leaves like that, I've had it happen to me too. Even worse is when you find out that soon after, you've been replaced by someone else and then things start to make much more sense.

 

You can't blame yourself, it's natural to do but it doesn't help at all. Often, if there's something that can be resolved in a relationship and the relationship means enough to both involved, then simple dialogue becomes one of your best friends. But in your case, it seemed like she already checked out and was looking for an out, and it looks like she just pinned it on your demands to see her every night.

 

Something I really wondered to myself was, why the hell do I feel so ****ty after being broken up with? I honestly had never felt that way before even being in previous relationships, and I had to do a lot of soul searching. I mean, it's natural to feel terrible after a few months but I had this lingering sense of dismay, sadness, and I wasn't sure I'd ever get over it. But then it dawned on me, it wasn't that I was upset about my previous relationship. I was unhappy with myself. And through the years I was with my ex, I took so much satisfaction in making her happy that it in effect made me happy. Through this all, at the root of it all, I was still unhappy with who I was, but it didn't matter when I was with her, because I would gain happiness from having her around me. So imagine, when you put so much into someone else, and then all of a sudden they're gone, how does that leave you to feel? It made sense to me, and it's incredibly true. It sounds like you were in the same boat as me. You never really took the time to make yourself happy, whether it was with your career, your fitness, your hobbies, etc.

 

What you need to do is work on yourself. And though this sounds cliche, it's so true. What makes you smile (that isn't an old thought about your ex)? Surely, you've experienced happiness before you ever started dating, think back to what you enjoyed doing in your life. And do it! Making lots of new friends helps too.

 

It's crazy the effect that one person can have on your life. But the truth is that motivation, and happiness should never come from someone else. It's great when you find someone who makes your life more enjoyable, but ultimately, if you're not happy with who you are and what you're doing, then something as difficult as a break up becomes that much more amplified.

 

You can't think about what she's feeling or what she's doing, that's just going to hurt you more. I know that my ex moved on fairly quickly to another guy, and all I started doing was dissecting her rationale, and figuring out my odds of reconciling with her. It's a horrible thing to do, because it doesn't give you an opportunity to move on and focus on healing yourself. So please don't do that! If you're connected to her by Facebook, MSN, even Skype or any application that allows you to see her contact, please remove her! It honestly will help so much, and don't have regard for what she thinks in this matter, it doesn't make any difference.

 

I know everyone says this, but things really will get better with time. I couldn't possibly believe it, but it does. And it takes time for you to acknowledge that it's indeed over, and once you do that, you can actually start to heal properly. I know it took me months to finally acknowledge that there was no going back and that it was done, and once I did that, I began to grieve again just like I did when we first broke up, but soon after I felt much better.

 

Anyways, I've typed a lot and I don't know if it makes sense, but all I can say is to take care of yourself, cut off contact completely with her, and keep your chin up because it does get better from here on.

 

Good luck!

[Sustugriel]

I know how you feel...But then it dawned on me, it wasn't that I was upset about my previous relationship. I was unhappy with myself. And through the years I was with my ex, I took so much satisfaction in making her happy that it in effect made me happy. Through this all, at the root of it all, I was still unhappy with who I was, but it didn't matter when I was with her, because I would gain happiness from having her around me. So imagine, when you put so much into someone else, and then all of a sudden they're gone, how does that leave you to feel? It made sense to me, and it's incredibly true. It sounds like you were in the same boat as me. You never really took the time to make yourself happy, whether it was with your career, your fitness, your hobbies, etc...if you're not happy with who you are and what you're doing, then something as difficult as a break up becomes that much more amplified.

 

It's like you know who I am and I've never met you. Thank you for saying this. I will post a more appropriate response as this is coming from my phone.

[Sustugriel]

It's been two weeks since I received the note. I am not getting better... I am still getting pangs of guilt related to my failure to pick up on my fiance's cues that she was unhappy. I never knew what she was feeling because:

 

A. She never told me

B. I was working 12-14 hour days so spending time together was very constrained.

 

Now I also have these feelings of complete defeat because I never felt like I had a chance to make it up to her. Even if I did I'm not sure she would want it. How can someone go from being your best friend and lover, talking everyday for hours...to nothing? Didn't I deserve that chance to make it right?

 

What did I do wrong?

[Sustugriel]

So, 17 days have passed. No contact. I have not called, but it's irrelevant because I found out she actually bought a new cell phone to avoid talking to her parents or myself...

 

I have found out that she's been shacking up with a close friend of mine. And everyone seems to know much more information than I about it than I do.

 

what kind of people do this to their lovers and friends? Help me

[triplethreat]

what kind of people do this to their lovers and friends? Help me

 

People who are very confused about what they want in life. All we can do is try to better ourselves and hope that that special someone comes to their senses. When they do come around, we will be in a better place to evaluate the relationship as it was.

 

I posted my long story yesterday, with no replies. I am in a similar situation and all I can do is take hour by hour, day by day, and focus on myself and enjoy the moment. I hope you decide to just take it easy as well and stop worrying about her. So easy to say, so hard to do.

[Dims85]

OP i feel your pain and just like everyone has said before me we have all been there before, thats why we are all here. I was with my ex for 6 1/2 years and we were engaged as well and she just up and left me saying she didnt have time anymore to be in a relationship and work and school. mind you she had been doing all those things our whole relationship. the best advice is to focus on yourself, i know its hard but dont focus on what she is or isnt doing. its not your concern anymore, go to the gym hang out with friends go running get a hobby. the last i heard from my ex is that she loves me so much and doesnt want to lose me as she was walking out of my life. the truth is no matter what they say actions always speak louder than words. Keep your resolve, post here when you need some advice or just to vent it helps trust me, it helped me a lot. you cant go back to the way it was but you can always look ahead to what will come next for you, just be ready to embrace whatever it is. my friend gave me some good advice the other day about trying to regain past feelings and emotions.... "Chapters in our life are meant to be read, but there is no universal bookmark that we can use to salvage the feelings we once had. Lets all learn from the past and move on to bigger and better things"

[notfunny]

 

Something I really wondered to myself was, why the hell do I feel so ****ty after being broken up with? I honestly had never felt that way before even being in previous relationships, and I had to do a lot of soul searching. I mean, it's natural to feel terrible after a few months but I had this lingering sense of dismay, sadness, and I wasn't sure I'd ever get over it. But then it dawned on me, it wasn't that I was upset about my previous relationship. I was unhappy with myself. And through the years I was with my ex, I took so much satisfaction in making her happy that it in effect made me happy. Through this all, at the root of it all, I was still unhappy with who I was, but it didn't matter when I was with her, because I would gain happiness from having her around me. So imagine, when you put so much into someone else, and then all of a sudden they're gone, how does that leave you to feel? It made sense to me, and it's incredibly true. It sounds like you were in the same boat as me. You never really took the time to make yourself happy, whether it was with your career, your fitness, your hobbies, etc.

Dude...what rad said its so true.. and i am in the same freakin boat as him..Thx Gymrat this really opened my eyes..and it is really the full true in my case...

[Sugarkane]

Out of the blue and no real reason is the worst. Bloody painful. I loathe this type of breakup.

[Sustugriel]

Out of the blue and no real reason is the worst. Bloody painful. I loathe this type of breakup.

 

It's been 3 weeks. The days are not getting easier, everyday I think of more questions and still have no idea why this had to happen.

 

I don't know what I did to push her away (or if it was nothing at all), or why she has selected a friend of mine over me... Or even how long it had been going on behind my back. I do however, through a lot of talking with friends/family/religious persons know the following:

 

-I am hurt, possibly damaged for years.

-I deserved more than a note, in fact, I deserved someone faithful, and a second chance.

-This is just plain, outright...evil...You cannot go from being with someone for 5 years, sharing their body, love and life...to nothing instantly...it's just not normal. The normal human reaction is to feel intense guilt, I don't see that happening here, as far as I know...she's QUITE pleased with herself.

 

How do I stand now? I'm on a rollercoaster between anger and despair...I keep telling myself I need to talk to her, but honestly...

 

...what would I say? I'm not going to beg her to come back just to do this to me again, and I'm not going to forgive her for perverting the love we had. As I said, I am damaged, conflicted.

[harvej]

I feel your pain dude. Same thing happened to me, but perhaps was a tad colder,which makes forgetting her easier. What you might want to look up are the traits of somebody with Borderline Personality Disorder or Sociopaths. These people lack empathy and can move from relationship to relationship with ease. I bet she has some affliction of both as nobody just writes a letter and leaves like that. My exGF simply wrote a text, which is very cold. Not heard from her since either. My guess is that although you invested in her for years,that investment ended up a bust,and she gave you a gift. A gift of preventing you from marrying somebody like her,having a child and then she divorcing you. Remember, marriage is about sticking it out for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. She bailed when you were at your worse, my ex bailed when i was in sickness. We were done a big favor, and remain good people, they do not. She is in a rebound. Stay true to NC to move on, not get her back. Now you can purge two chapters of peopel from your book of life. She and your ex friend. Remember, she was also supposed to be a friend too. So good riddance.

[Sustugriel]

I feel your pain dude. Same thing happened to me, but perhaps was a tad colder,which makes forgetting her easier. What you might want to look up are the traits of somebody with Borderline Personality Disorder or Sociopaths. These people lack empathy and can move from relationship to relationship with ease. I bet she has some affliction of both as nobody just writes a letter and leaves like that. My exGF simply wrote a text, which is very cold. Not heard from her since either. My guess is that although you invested in her for years,that investment ended up a bust,and she gave you a gift. A gift of preventing you from marrying somebody like her,having a child and then she divorcing you. Remember, marriage is about sticking it out for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. She bailed when you were at your worse, my ex bailed when i was in sickness. We were done a big favor, and remain good people, they do not. She is in a rebound. Stay true to NC to move on, not get her back. Now you can purge two chapters of peopel from your book of life. She and your ex friend. Remember, she was also supposed to be a friend too. So good riddance.

 

Thank you for the response...I am well aware of sociopathic tendencies, I found the subject fascinating in college. The thought has crossed my mind (seriously crossed it) on her mental stability and whether or not she is in fact a sociopath. It makes me feel better that someone else besides me would think this same thing as well.

 

I know what I must do, which is forget about her forever and move on. It's walking the walk, brothers/sisters, that's the hard part. I have been trying to stay productive, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want to shrivel up and die. I had plans with this woman, so many moments, memories and time together. They've now all been corrupted by her selfishness, her inability to have empathy for me when I needed it most. I have been defined by this relationship for years, I don't remember how to be myself.

 

My family has been telling me "she's made the choice, not you." but it just doesn't seem to make it any easier. I am frightened of the unknown...I'm even frightened of going to the mall, if I were to see her and him together. That might be the final straw for me losing my mind.

[Sustugriel]

She called me last night. We talked for over an hour. We reminisced, discussed the future and she said we would speak again.

 

She admitted to the lack of communication, saying that she was afraid to confront me about the issues she had. That she was "constantly giving me more chances" ... except I never realized any of these issues, so this was news to me.

 

I asked her if she didn't love me anymore, and she said "No, it's not that. You just hurt me more than I love you. It's important for me to be honest." She started crying, I asked her "Is there another man involved?" and she said "No, nothing like that. I would never do that." I believed her, after being with someone that long, you have a tendency to just trust them. Despite the fact that I had evidence otherwise.

 

I told her about my promise I made to her, to never let her go, and to never give up. She said she remembered it, and understood. She said she had to go rest because her crying was giving her a headache...She said we would speak again soon. I left the conversation feeling pretty good, but with more questions than answers.

 

...Only to have a close friend call me 10 minutes after the conversation with "Dude, DON'T believe a word she says. She's HERE right now, CHEATING on you with my roommate. She's manipulating you to alleviate her guilt, that's all that was. She's putting all the blame on you, to make you the bad person. To make what she's doing almost seem right. Just turn around and ****ing run, don't look back. She's a flighty bitch...As far as I can tell dude, you're ancient history as far as she's concerned."

 

I have no choice but to believe him, my friend has absolutely nothing to gain by lying about this. And quite a bit to lose.

 

Apparently immediately after she got off the phone with me, she was all smiles and giggles...

 

She lied to me. She bull-faced lied, after being together for 5 years. I don't really know how to feel about this. I almost wish I had never met her.

[Bazamu]

Wow and I thought my ex was cold hearted. I couldn't even express in words how that felt for you man. That is the biggest bunch of bull**** I have ever heard. I thought I had it bad. I can't believe she has the balls to actually do that! Sorry to hear that. What sucks, is she gave you false hope and you probably feel like you are back at square one.

[jormungand]

I almost wish I had never met her.

 

I know exactly how you feel about this. Did we date the same woman?

 

Anyway, follow the advice of your friend. Run and don't look back. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you, but don't get fooled a second time by this person. Take it from me. She's obviously incapable of empathizing with your feelings.

 

Mine begged me back, we got back together, then she immediately ignored me to go get drunk every night and hang out with strange dudes. Doesn't care how I feel, and does not wish to discuss the issue. Doesn't even want to talk to me. I know it leaves you with so many questions, but accept that they're never going to get answered. Women like this toyed with us and our feelings, and just straight up don't care who they hurt in the process, because they always have someone lined up. We'll carry these scars forever, but do your best in what makes you happy. Last night I laughed at something for the first time since the 2nd breakup (two weeks), and it gave me hope. Best of luck in finding yourself again.

[Sustugriel]

Wow and I thought my ex was cold hearted. I couldn't even express in words how that felt for you man. That is the biggest bunch of bull**** I have ever heard. I thought I had it bad. I can't believe she has the balls to actually do that! Sorry to hear that. What sucks, is she gave you false hope and you probably feel like you are back at square one.

 

I can't express how I'm feeling either, bro. It's like a flood of negative feelings and just complete betrayal. I've had all the blame pinned on me...when I did nothing but treat her like an angel. She's admitted next to nothing except that she didn't communicate a problem. The question that rings out in my mind right now is:

 

-What kind of person thinks that their guilt could possibly outweigh the hurt they've caused in a situation like this?

 

She put me through weeks of absolute hell, and stole 5 years of my life. I feel like my legs have been forcibly removed by a cement mixer. How could she think that HER GUILT is what needs pampering right now?

 

And you're right, she gave me hope because she wouldn't admit to not loving me, and said there was no one else. She even said "awww" when I told her I missed her and I was hurting worse than I've ever felt....it sounded REAL.

 

She kept telling me on the phone that she had to be honest with me, she probably said it 10 times. The only honesty I've gotten has been second-hand..

 

She has no empathy for me at all, no respect for me...I doubt she really feels anything for anyone else except herself. I feel worthless, I'm never good enough for anyone.

Edited December 2, 2011 by Sustugriel

[jormungand]

I can't express how I'm feeling either, bro. It's like a flood of negative feelings and just complete betrayal. I've had all the blame pinned on me...when I did nothing but treat her like an angel. She's admitted next to nothing except that she didn't communicate a problem. The question that rings out in my mind right now is:

 

-What kind of person thinks that their guilt could possibly outweigh the hurt they've caused in a situation like this?

 

She put me through weeks of absolute hell, and stole 5 years of my life. I feel like my legs have been forcibly removed by a cement mixer. How could she think that HER GUILT is what needs pampering right now?

 

And you're right, she gave me hope because she wouldn't admit to not loving me, and said there was no one else. She even said "awww" when I told her I missed her and I was hurting worse than I've ever felt....it sounded REAL.

 

She has no empathy for me at all, no respect for me...I doubt she really feels anything for anyone else except herself. I feel worthless, I'm never good enough for anyone.

 

I really feel for you right now dude. I'm so in love with who this girl used to be, and i'm sure you are too, before you saw all of the betrayal, selfishness, and heartlessness.

 

Every time you feel like contacting her though, re-read those last 3 paragraphs you just typed. They're really powerful and will serve as a helpful reminder to just run the **** away from this situation. I only hope I can be as strong, and am finding myself cracking quite a bit.

[Sustugriel]

I really feel for you right now dude. I'm so in love with who this girl used to be, and i'm sure you are too, before you saw all of the betrayal, selfishness, and heartlessness.

 

Every time you feel like contacting her though, re-read those last 3 paragraphs you just typed. They're really powerful and will serve as a helpful reminder to just run the **** away from this situation. I only hope I can be as strong, and am finding myself cracking quite a bit.

 

The simple truth, brother, is I fell in love with a whore. That really is the simplest explanation for all of this.

 

But, that doesn't seem to make it any easier. I'm the one that's hurting, not her. She will never be punished for what she has done to me...and she's turning a blind eye to it, and finding ways to pin more **** on me to scape-goat her guilt.

 

I'm the one who has to walk away and be alone, to face life with no one at my side after so long. I don't know if I'll ever find anyone like her again....CORRECTION. Better than her. That just seems like an impossibility.

[Bazamu]

There is always hope for everyone, it just sucks when you are stuck in this situation and hope it would end already. I am in your boat, just like most of the people on here. I am just not as strong as the rest. My ex gf grabbed onto someone else and they are already having sex and there is nothing I can do except ask myself so many questions until my head hurts. The truth hurts and when you look behind the curtains, you sometimes don't want to know. Someone telling me that would give me so much hope and that split second of happiness..... then you get a text from your friend. **** that. For some reason I am too naive to realise my ex is moving on and in a rebound relationship right now. It feels if I let her go and let her play the field, she will realise what she is missing in life. I have so much hope for everyone who wants their special someone back in their lives. Life sucks sometimes, but you have to move on. Sometimes slower than others. I flew out of state to visit my friend to try and get away from all of it, wishing I would forget, but just got worse. Reasoning is because I can't let this go. Heart break is a bitch.

[jormungand]

The simple truth, brother, is I fell in love with a whore. That really is the simplest explanation for all of this.

 

But, that doesn't seem to make it any easier. I'm the one that's hurting, not her. She will never be punished for what she has done to me...and she's turning a blind eye to it, and finding ways to pin more **** on me to scape-goat her guilt.

 

I'm the one who has to walk away and be alone, to face life with no one at my side after so long. I don't know if I'll ever find anyone like her again....CORRECTION. Better than her. That just seems like an impossibility.

 

Pretty much, it all seems better in hindsight, but women like this did us a favor. What if you guys were married, had property/kids/assets to fight over? that would have made it so much more painful. Neither of us can see this now because it's so fresh, but the both of us will be better off some day.

[Sustugriel]

It just seems so hopeless. If we could be together for that long, just to have her not tell me a thing and leave over...

 

...what? Wanting more sex with a different man? more attention? etc. etc. All things that I couldn't have helped...I still have all the emotional connection...(which, is normal after having been intimate with a person over a thousand times) ... but she has none?

 

The point I'm making, is I feel if I couldn't make this work...I don't know if I'll ever be able to make anything work.