d.stevens Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 THis is still going on? lol I posted in this thread a few months ago giving advice. I come back a few months later and nothing differnt lol sad... I'll check back in another few months lol Link to post Share on other sites
crackhead mcgee Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 I agree, that you need to get over her. cause she's playin you. just like everyone here has been sayin. Link to post Share on other sites
emdeesea Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 You've got to be kidding me?? This is still going on? How many times are you going to let yourself get knocked down, walked on, told "I only see you as a friend," yadda, yadda, yadda? It's one thing to be friends, but you're being friends because you're waiting for a payoff. And she's already said it's not going to happen. And here you are - still here - waiting for something that she said isn't going to happen. It's like a vending machine. You keep plunking change into the vending machine hoping to get what you want. But you don't. So you keep plunking money into the machine. In this process, you're wasting time AND money. How much do you want to waste? At some point, you have to quit plunking money into that machine because it AIN'T going to pay off. Move on to another machine. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Someone said, if you always try the same, but hope for a different outcome each time you try you are stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
FsuBA34 Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 This is why I suggested to him change how he's acting towards her, flirt with her a lot, STOP buying **** for her, make her call him, be unpredictable, etc., etc. and maybe he'd get a change in the outcome. Has he learned? I guess we'll find out. Link to post Share on other sites
organic chemistry Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 i think i lost my best friend this way i have a really gd guy friend Andrew, we met in high sch. acutally he was the first cute guy i noticed when i entered that new highsch. it was funny how we met. i didn't know anyone in the new highsch, by myself alone the first few days, then i noticed this cute guy around. it was until the 4th day that i noticed we were in the same Eng class. So i came up to him and said hi We became friends and hung out a lot in senior yr. He drove me home everyday. We would flirt and did stupid little gestures in class. it was so sweet. There was a girl in sch that was secretly in love with her for a long time. but since i came as a new student obviously I just entered his life as an important friend. Then the girl made my life miserable by asking other asians to not make friends with me in sch. That incident bothered me and i had to tell Andrew about it. Andrew said i was more important than that girl. He would not stop being friends with me just becoz she didn't wanna. and our friendship grew. I was so in love with him, but i thought he wasn't interested. So throughout highsch we didn't say anything about getting together as lovers. After highsch we didn't contact each other for a while after we got into different colleges. Then after a while he contacted me again and then we hung out regularly. One time we was messaging on the internet. and he talked about "what if i loved u before"...i dropped that moment by joking about it...i always wonder what would it be if i said i loved him in return In the meantime,i dated a few guys and then I had a serious bf for about 1yr. It just happened that whenever I became single or broke up. He would be around and we would hang out more often. But I can see we were friends for 3 yrs now. and I love him a lot...but it is not gonna be a romantic relationship at all. i have waited for him to ask me to be his gf for 3 yrs...and it didn't happen...and i'm sure it never will... So becoz i thought it never will....i believe that it's really time to move on...it's time to meet new ppl...waiting for a person for 3 yrs is too long....so i chose a university that was far away and moved away from my old town. I told him the reason...if there is no spark with the old friend, maybe i should move away and try to meet new ppl...i dun wanna be stuck with the old friends anymore i think he is offended and now he's not even talking to me anymore...i dunno how to repair... Link to post Share on other sites
organic chemistry Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Also i was the one that came up to him 3 yrs ago to make friends with him He told me later that his personality...he would never talk to a stranger like that...he's the type that only sticks to own friends...like his meaning is that he would not make the first move to make friends with me...if i didn't take the initiative 3 yrs ago and he was glad i did that but now...we r not talking with each other... Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Originally posted by FsuBA34 This is why I suggested to him change how he's acting towards her, flirt with her a lot, STOP buying **** for her, make her call him, be unpredictable, etc., etc. and maybe he'd get a change in the outcome. Has he learned? I guess we'll find out. It´s hard to do so, but he even doesn´t try. I don´t even think he has grasped the meaning of your words, which means, he´s so blinded by his infatuation that he doesn´t see any good advice anymore. This in return will surely not make her fall in love with him. He just looks like a love fool, but not someone who loves and that´s the difference. We appreciate people who love us, but not love fools who plead to be our doormat. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Originally posted by organic chemistry One time we was messaging on the internet. and he talked about "what if i loved u before"...i dropped that moment by joking about it...i always wonder what would it be if i said i loved him in return So what´s your point again? He did make a step and you didn´t react. If I was him, I´d also drop the idea that you were interested in more. And why don´t you ask him? Did you ever drop any hints that you were interested in more or are you waiting for him to kiss you awake like the sleeping beauty? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ockey53 Posted December 15, 2004 Author Share Posted December 15, 2004 The quest has officially ended. She just told me that the guy she likes asked her out. I'm kinda glad... cause the Miami trip didn't go very well. She was very upset at my mom for some reason I don't feel like explaining. Now, I need to concentrate on my own priorities. bye Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 I´m sorry it had to end for you like this. Both of you did strange things. It probably wouldn´t have worked out and now you´re free to concentrate on yourself. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
confused&inneed Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 it is gonna be hard.... at least u have a place to go when times r tough, and people that support u in ur decision. it wont be easy at first, but it will get better with time. u always have someone that u can talk to, that understands.... Good luck!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
emdeesea Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 I think this is what we all already said about a million times. Find yourself. Work on yourself. Be happy with yourself. When you start being happy with yourself and doing what's important to you, that's when you become attractive to the opposite sex. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Bob47 Posted December 18, 2004 Share Posted December 18, 2004 I just joined this board today, and read this ENTIRE thread because I can really relate to it. I actually posted on another thread not knowing that this topic was here--oh well. I think it was under "platonic>friendships" or something. I have had a "friend girl" for going on 5 years now, and she's been my best friend. I stuck around her as a friend because she had a boyfriend for almost 4 of the years, and I knew I was out of the picture. Recently they broke up, and I've been really confused as what to do now that my "barrier" (her boyfriend) was gone. Oh, important fact: her boyfriend was half-way across the country, so I was the surrogate. Anyway, she's never shown any romantic interest in me, but I'm constantly by her side. In the past few months I've realized I wanted to become a bit more independant, be more of my own person. But it really hasn't helped me get over her much. I find I feel myself trapped in the stasis that exists between a true friendship and a romance. We act like a couple, you know? We argue, tease, laugh, and again argue, like a couple. So I'm running in this continuous loop of falling for her, and then realizing we're not a couple, and then falling for her again. I wish I could explain all in more detail, but believe me, I might as well write a novel. After reading all of this thread, I think I have a little more of an idea of what's going on. I think the key is I have to learn to respect myself more. I'm really am tired of giving her everything, and not getting anything (emotionally) in return. I care for her deeply, and we have a strong friendship. But she's getting everything she wants, and I'm not getting what I really want. It's about fixing yourself first, right? And then worrying about girls later. My plan is to distance myself emotionally from her. Because I can't distance myself physically that easily--we're roomates. I'm gonna talk to other girls, and just not be there for her every need. The hard thing is to do this all for myself, and not on the desire that it will make her like me. If I succeed, I will have saved myself from pain, and formed a *real* platonic friendship. I don't want to hurt her, and I know I will if I suddenly disappear from her life (I've seen this happen to her with another one of her friends, a girl). If she gets mad about me being more distant, I guess I'll have to tell her why I did it. This all sounds well and good, I just hope I can follow through. Like I said, I've been running in a loop forever. I might just keep running in it, I dunno. I can tell you one thing though, I will never again fall into a friendship with a girl that I am intereseted in from the beginning. Sure it's rewarding, but it's also painful--and not nearly rewarding enough. Link to post Share on other sites
don fan dango Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Hey, i am 17...and i have had a long term friend who i began to like a short time ago in a more than friendship way...and i want to know what to do....as long as i have been her friend i havnt really been attracted to many other girls...is this normal, i dont want to be the "brother" figure nemore its not cool. And i have told her how i feel, in some cases explicitly yet she hasnt said anything back like no..."i dont feel that way's" or no "Yes i feel the same way's". i dont want to hang around and be her shoulder to cry on and hear her problems. I finding its drowning me and i want to either go somewhere with this or just leave it and just dump the friendship. I mean we have been friends for 3 years and only in the past 1 became really good friends and in the past year i havnt found other woman attractive other than her. i would like to just be free or actually go somewhere with this. She talks about doing things in the future like trips and wateva once we finish school but i just dont want to hang around if nothings gonna happen and continue to be a lap dog. Link to post Share on other sites
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