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The morning after the night before?


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Hi everyone

 

First time here so hoping I do this correctly!

 

I'm a single parent, mature student who may have just got herself into some hot water.

 

Saturday night I went out with a group of other mature students. I wouldnt yet call any of them close friends, its more like colleagues or buddys. I get on well with them all, and we have to work together alot - but none of us know each other enough to call them friends.

 

So, one drink led to another (and a bloody skinful), and I ended up sleeping with one of my fellow students.

 

Now I get on VERY well with this bloke, and there has always been chemistry there, however he is married with kids.

 

I broke one of my own set in stone rules when this happened by sleeping with a man who was clearly "taken", and actually very much in love with his wife. I will admit to being kind of dissapointed as I dont actually remember much in the way of details (I really was that drunk), and Ive been single for a long time so ending a dry spell in such a way is really ****ty.

 

I dont want there to be a repeat, but I do want to remain buddys. I have to work with him at least 3 days a week, let alone revision group etc.

 

So how should I handle this?

 

Should I try to clear the air and show him I'm not after more? Or should I just carry on as normal and pretend it never happened?

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Pretend it didn't happn but at the same time make it CLEAR to him that it was a stupid drunken mistake, a one time deal and not to expect anything like that to happen again.

 

You have to put up boundries now..Keep your distance. No need to hang out and be buddies.. You two ruined that by having sex. If he wasn't married, obviously it wouldn't be a big deal -- But last thing you need to deal with is the fallout of this if others find out.

 

Most of all, detach. Chalk it up as a ONS and leave it at that. No long discussions or 'talks' necessary with him. If he hits on you at all, just tell him to go home to his wife and kids.

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Carry on as normal and pretend it never happened?

 

 

Yes that is what you do.

 

If he chooses to bring up the subject I advise you to be stern, stand your ground and let him know that this mistake will never happen again.

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Pretend it didn't happn but at the same time make it CLEAR to him that it was a stupid drunken mistake, a one time deal and not to expect anything like that to happen again.

 

You have to put up boundries now..Keep your distance. No need to hang out and be buddies.. You two ruined that by having sex. If he wasn't married, obviously it wouldn't be a big deal -- But last thing you need to deal with is the fallout of this if others find out.

 

Most of all, detach. Chalk it up as a ONS and leave it at that. No long discussions or 'talks' necessary with him. If he hits on you at all, just tell him to go home to his wife and kids.

 

 

I agree 100%

 

Since you don't even know him that well as you've stated and restated, then you had no real friendship to begin with. So I think it is best to pretend it didn't happen...or clear the air and say it was a drunken mistake and then move on from it quickly and treat him like a colleague. I don't think you need to be "friends"...just cordial.

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