what is really goin on??

[charles]

hi people.....this maybe sort of long, but please take the time to read along. i am going on my senior year of college (21 years old), earlier on during my junior year i got out of a two year relationship with an older girl who thought the world of me and would do absolutley anything to make me happy, however, sooner later i became somewhat annoyed and just wanted to move on with my life.....anyways, so recently (2 months before school ended) i started a new realtionship with a girl that is 2 years younger than me. i truly adore this person and would do anyhting to make her happy. i've never felt these emotions towards a female and i dont know why. she is drop-dead gorgeous and has a terrrifc personality. throughout high school she developed many strong relationships with the people around her (guys and girls) she has the effect on people in college too, and this is something i never had, well at least not as strong as the bonds that she has. she is always outgoing and could honestly make conversation with a wall, and be happy doing it. as for her sex life, well.....she hasnt been touched, only kissed one guy in her life other than me, i can honestly say i am way ahead of her in that category.

 

moving on.....the first month of our relationship was amazing no fighting nothing, couldnt of ask for more. as time went on i found us arguing over the dumbest things. ill admit some of them were my fault maybe even insecurities that i have. for example, if one of her guy friends gives her a drunk phone call at 2 am when im there and she answers i get upset and it shows, thats when the arguing begins. another example, is that often times she thinks im mad or upset with her because im not talking or just sitting down and dont feel like doin anything. one time a guy answered her cell phone and i got mad and she thought i was way out of line....i mean, yeah i trust her, i just dont think that is appropriate. i could go on and on with small stories but ill just get to the point. she used to conitually sound happy to talk to me when we are on the phone, but latley it seems that she has no interest in speaking with me, she claims that she is just tired of the arguing, and i am too so i talk to her now in a more enthusiatic way but i just get the vibe that she is just irritated with me. bottom line is that i would drop what im doing just to be talk or be with her, and she was like that but it seems that is now blown away. it just seems like her feelings have changed and now she is ready to move on......but im not, i cant get this out of my head, i really want to be with this girl and i will do anything to do that. frankly, she doesnt want to talk about the problems anymore and she just wants to change the subject, which makes me have insecurities as to where she thinks our relationship is going, and leaves me confused. however, about a week ago she told me that i was stuck with her, which made me feel good, and that she wasnt goin anywhere, but just recently i've been getting that feeling that she just annoyed with me. so i dont know what to think.

 

so here are my q's....am i absolutly crazy about all this and thinking too hard? if so, how do i stop? am i being a bad boyfriend and being jealous about the friends that she has and their bonds that they have? how do i know if she really does like me the way she says she does, is she just saying that to make me happy, b/c she doesnt really show it physically? is this girl ready for an intement realationship, she claims that she is...i dont know? most of all, should i just get out of this whole thing because my mind cant take this anymore?

 

thanks for your time, and please dont think im a crazy person, i just wanted to express the situation in as much detail as possible. i really do like this person alot, and see a future if we can work through this mess. ive tried talkin to close people and it works for a day then my mind just goes back to the negative places again. thanks again for your time once again, please give me advice!!

[pandoras box]

she had these guy friends before she met you, so chances are she's not going to ditch them for you if she's as outgoing as you described. but, being as outgoing as she is, she wouldn't be *with* you if she didnt want to be, right?

 

girls can have guy friends and have zero sexual feelings towards them, if thats what you're worried about... maybe try meeting and making friends with the same people she hangs out with so you wont feel threatened by them.

[Dean67]

It seems like you're being pretty honest with yourself man...which is great. But listen, the relationship that you think it is and the one she thinks it is is different. I've been in this situation and I've seen it a million times...its over. Sorry brother.

 

If you can possibly accomplish this thing that no one else that I know has, I bet you could save some kind of relationship with this obvious catch...she sounds very cool.

 

Be HER friend...and let her be. You guys are young...especially her! You'll be surprised at how much you change even in the next four years and you'll be downright astounded at how much she changes. If you want to be around to see this your best shot at it is just being her friend. If you press the relationship you will be disgarded along with the multitudes of other men she will be disgarding for the next few years.

 

Don't be obsessed with her virginity either...a lot of guys do that, its really unrealistic and a little pathetic (I'm not saying you're doing that though).

 

Chase your own life and keep in touch with her...she will want to see you again in the future and your encounter will be that much sweeter.

 

But this is an impossible task because the emotions are so strong...don't be too hard on yourself if you can't do it.

[Ici Ixi]

hi!, i really agree with both of them ^^.

i can understand how you get kind of upset about her other friends. just try to chillax and it'll all qork out, except, i agree... i dont think it's right for some other guy to answer her cell either, i mean, it's cool she has other frineds, and fine if their the opposite sex, but that's a bit too much. try talking to her about how you feel like you're annoying her, maybe ask her how you can change that or what not. but if you think that would seem more of a pain to her maybe just continue to be a good boyfriend but try to obsess less, maybe let her come to you for a change. she sounds like a truly awesome person, and you're lucky but i'm sure you can't be half bad either.

good luck, i know it gets tough, but just hang in there. all relationships have their ups and downs, but depending how how much downs and how awesome the ups are really hints to whether the realtionship is worth it or not.