tell me I'm not the only one that feels like this

[ditzchic]

Ugh. I need to know that I'm normal and not some kind of crazy here. I'm posting this here to a bunch of anonymous strangers because I think my friends are just about sick of hearing it and I don't want to alienate myself any further from the very few things in life that make me happy right now.

 

I'm a 29 year old single woman who is desperately lonely but not ready to seriously date. I feel like I am at my wits end here. I don't know what to do or where to go to get myself to the place I want to be.

 

I am still getting over a break up of a short relationship that ended 4 months ago. The relationship only lasted 3 months and I know I should have been long over it by now but I'm not. I really had strong feelings for the guy and he ripped my heart out. I know I'm much better off without him and things with him were not that great when it ended but I was falling for him hard and he used and abused me until the point where I found myself turning into some crazy bitch lady to cope. I don't want him back it would take a whole other place, time and probably galaxy for me to make that mistake again but I can't stop myself from thinking about him almost all the time. I really cared about him. I'm dating other people (very casually) but I haven't met anyone that I really connect with or like so nothing has progressed.

 

Even if I did meet someone amazing, I don't feel comfortable getting into a serious relationship right now. I'm having a bit of a financial struggle. I'm barely making ends meet right now. I'm also looking to relocate to a city about an hour away in the near future (to fix the financial situation) so I don't want to start something only to possibly rip it apart in the not so far away.

 

People keep telling me I will move on from this rut when I actually start moving on. That's what I'm trying to do but it just isn't happening. I'm sure you've all noticed the job market is tight, money is tight most everywhere. I can't afford to go out every night and party hardy and "get myself out there" in the social scene all that often and have the fun I want to have. This situation has a tight hold on me. It makes everything seem so futile. When I'm bored and lonely, I can't go out. When I can go out and I meet someone I'd like to hang out with, I rarely meet guys that give me the butterflies. When I do meet someone who makes me gooey, I'm afraid I'm going to end up leading them on. This is the ruttiest of ruts. I can't focus at work. I don't want to work for a company that barely compensates me enough to pay my bills. It's like it's affecting every part of me. I can't find joy in anything. Even going to the gym or a walk/run outside seem pointless because I'm so stressed out I can't hit my stride and feel and look like **** anyway...

 

I am going to see a therapist about this stuff btw but so far it seems to not be doing much and I'm thinking of stopping going because I really can't afford it anyway...

 

Please tell me I'm not a nut... Maybe a little depressed and definitely down in the dumps. But not a certifiable nutjob. Please please please. And if anyone has been through something similar please tell me how you coped.

 

Thanks for letting me rant guys

[WhiteChocolate]

I sympathize.

 

If money is tight, I don't advise seeing a therapist. It might just stress you out more. Come online to rant Although we're not professionals, I think it will help.

 

Do you have any friends, male or female? They can help alleviate the loneliness.

 

I agree that if you are planning to move, that you shouldn't "lead someone on." Focus on getting your money problems fixed first.

 

Keep a steady head; everything will be alright!

[ditzchic]

I sympathize.

 

Do you have any friends, male or female? They can help alleviate the loneliness.

 

 

 

I honestly don't have many local friends. At least not many that I really connect with and have lots in common with. I hang out with my local friends when I can but they really don't do much for the loneliness because we have so little in common.

 

The people I consider my best friends are mostly friends from college and they are scattered throughout the state (I live in PA so it's a big state ). I usually get to see them in small groups at a time once or twice a month but that requires travel which requires money. Actually, when I make the move I want I will be in a much more central location to them so it will make seeing them a lot easier and more frequent. Which is another reason I can't wait o get that move under way!!