Is this a common thing?

[Zach]

I am 15, and I asked a girl out for the first time on Tuesday. We had planned to go to a movie on Friday. I had known this girl for about a year, and we had become good friends. She said yes when I asked her out, but then, the night before the date, she called and said it wouldn't work out. Is it common for a girl to lead me on and say yes and then say no at the last minute?

[Tony T]

Is is common for girls to change their minds, but I don't think that's what happened here. I think she really wanted to go with you but probably met with resistance from her parents. Girls usually aren't permitted to go out on dates, except in groups and/or chaperoned, until they are 16 or 17. She may have accepted your invitation but was unable to talk her mother or father into allowing her to go.

 

The other possibility is that you have gotten a reputation as a real ladies man around town and maybe she doesn't want to subject herself to being hurt. Or, worse, you may have a reputation for being very agressive during a date and she may not be up to fighting you off.

 

There are just so many reasons that this may have happened. But never let a cancellation upset you. If you are very understanding about things like that, it is highly likely that you'll be successful the next time. And when you are very cool and act like it doesn't bother you at all, it often bothers the girl and makes her want you more.

 

Since she is your friend, I think it's perfectly fine to ask her if there was a specific problem or for the specific scoop. That way you can know whether to ask her out again or not.

 

Get used to it...it happens more often than we'd like.

[Jenna]

I thought the exact same thing Tony mentioned. Her parents probably told her "no way!" If they haven't met you- and don't know anything about you except for their daughter's description, "He's so dreamy"- they aren't likely to give her permission to go out on a date with you.

 

If thats the case- then you have some work to do. If they are firm about not letting her date until she is 16 (GOOD FOR THEM!!) but it gives you some time to show you are a responsible young man-who will take extreme care to keep their daughter safe and out of trouble. (like jail and becoming pregnant for instance) You are at their mercy- and they are going to be watching very closely- use that to your advantage.

 

Jenna

Is is common for girls to change their minds, but I don't think that's what happened here. I think she really wanted to go with you but probably met with resistance from her parents. Girls usually aren't permitted to go out on dates, except in groups and/or chaperoned, until they are 16 or 17. She may have accepted your invitation but was unable to talk her mother or father into allowing her to go. The other possibility is that you have gotten a reputation as a real ladies man around town and maybe she doesn't want to subject herself to being hurt. Or, worse, you may have a reputation for being very agressive during a date and she may not be up to fighting you off. There are just so many reasons that this may have happened. But never let a cancellation upset you. If you are very understanding about things like that, it is highly likely that you'll be successful the next time. And when you are very cool and act like it doesn't bother you at all, it often bothers the girl and makes her want you more. Since she is your friend, I think it's perfectly fine to ask her if there was a specific problem or for the specific scoop. That way you can know whether to ask her out again or not. Get used to it...it happens more often than we'd like.