Author Gdunkman Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 So, it's been more than one month of NC, which started right after the BU. The rollercoaster of emotions is not that hard anymore, still some moments of weakness, but in general I don't feel love, jealousy or anger that much. The constant tranquil sadness is what I feel, after all her last decision meant never again. We will never sing songs, play board games, go treasure seeking, have fun with our friends or even have a friendly chat again. I don't feel like I lost the game. She messed up her life even more than mine during the last try. I'm sure she will expirience that feeling of sadness as well, sooner or later. She had it after our first breakup, just before the second chance, even asked me "how can you ignore people you spent so much time with?" meaning my 5 months of NC, isn't it a stupid question for a dumper? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gdunkman Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 It's more than two months after the breakup and NC, so I came here to inform you about that As I predicted this breakup was much less painful for me than the first one, I don't even feel the sadness I mentioned a month ago anymore, that could be because of my busy life these days - different countries, snowboarding, meeting many many old friends, but it is most likely because of the other girl. After my ex dumped me a year ago I couldn't find a girl to be interested in during eight months, but this time I met this amazing beautiful girl just after a month being single, and experienced the great feeling of admiration. We had several dates as friends, and I didn't try to develop it to relations, because we live in different countries and I don't want another LDR. She is a very talented musician, I've heard her playing once and it was magnificent, she has goals in her life and working hard on them. I'm not comparing, her to my ex, but I have to say that my ex had no of the above mentioned qualities. I haven't done it yet, but I think I should tell her I felt in love with her What's you opinion guys, should I tell her that considering the fact we won't see each other for more than haf a year, because of the distance? Is it better if she knows how I feel, or if she doesn't? I have no idea if she is interested in me, but from the way she looks at me, smiles to me and lets me care about her, I would say she is. Thanks beforehand for your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Glad you are doing well. I'm getting over someone who I had separated with once before and I suppose the second time isn't quite as brutal. As far as your question about the situation with the new chick, I dunno, based on the little bit of info, I don't think it would really serve any purpose to go revealing any feelings to her. If anything, maybe let her know you felt a little spark more than just friendship, but I wouldn't go telling her that you love her. Just my opinion though. Link to post Share on other sites
Pens55 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Sorry to hear about this but in the long run its probably for the best. Im sure it doesnt help to hear it now, but you seem to have treated her well even when she treated you poorly - all of us here can see that you are a caring person. I dont know if karma exists, but if so, youll find someone perfect for you and will get as much as you give. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Annoying fact is that she didn't really think too much. The guy know works in Egypt on the beach, and she goes there to stay with him, so basically she exchanges our relations for a chance to spend winter time in nice sunny weather on the beach and she doesn't deny it. She also doesn't deny that she gets bored with that guy soon as they have different interests, and that interests of her and me are a perfect match, that's why we enjoyed every minute spent together. Both her mother and her best and the only true friend are against her decision, but she doesn't want to hear anyone. There is nothing I can do, I know it from my experience. My ex treated me like he wanted me to go away from him every summer (but used his child as an excuse). Every summer he treated me like he didn't want me. This final summer he ignored me to the point that he didn't even accept my calls. He told me during this time that he was ignoring me and as I found out later, cheating on me, that he love me and only stopped loving me when I finally left him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gdunkman Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 0 days NC and back to square one. In a word: her attempt to reconcile and my rejection to it. Reason: a lot of words, but no and even negative actions from her side to do it. Still love her. Very stressed. Can't say more, as she now knows about this thread and will be watching it. Thank you for the replies above. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 0 days NC and back to square one. In a word: her attempt to reconcile and my rejection to it. Reason: a lot of words, but no and even negative actions from her side to do it. Still love her. Very stressed. Can't say more, as she now knows about this thread and will be watching it. Thank you for the replies above. ^^^^^HUH?^^^^^ What the hell is that all about? Did she try a third time? Confused....How did she find out about this site? Oh and if she reading this. Hi confused and cheating girl! How about you leave the guy alone! I think he been through enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 It's day 9 of NC for me and still no desire to contact her ever again. She is not in my world anymore. She doesn't exist. That is my new rule. Good for you. Just be aware of something. I was so glad to go NC with my ex. I wanted her out of my life (and still do). The first two weeks were fine and then I started to miss her. By the 4th and 5th week I really missed her but know nothing would come out of breaking NC so was able to get past it. Now I am doing better. Just be prepared for ups and downs. Also, when you feel you are over and you feel you can be friends, don't do it. Lots of people here thought they were healed and when they tried to be friends they found the feelings came back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gdunkman Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) I'll try to explain what's going on, but having in mind she reads this. Hey Hristina! It turned out that she knows about this thread from the day I started it, since she knew I was on loveshack before. She still lives in Egypt with that guy, and as it was predicted she lost interest to him. She wrote me some long texts about her love to me and I read them on February 12th. I was very angry and thought I wouldn't reply, but I did it on February 14th. It was Saint Valentine's day and we had a some hours long Skype talk, saying how much we love each other. We are talking for some hours daily since then. We both are very confused at the moment. She told her now bf that she wants to be with me, he's going crazy, but lets her go. She is not sure whether she is pregnant from him or not and she will know it only in the beginning of March. We are talking about getting back together, but we both aren't sure. She says she isn't sure she won't want to be with him in some months again. Yesterday I thought there is no way I take her back pregnant, and asked her to stay with that guy. We stopped communication and both had a terrible night. I started to think, that I want her back even if she had five children from that guy. We talked today for 5 hours again discussing possible third attempt. It still sounds illusive, senseless and insane. We have to move to other countries again, we are not sure where, we have no idea how we will make money and we don't know whether she is pregnant or not. I have a job here in Montreal and stable life, but I don't have any happiness in life without her. If it is my turn this time to say no, I'm afraid I will regret it forever. Edited February 17, 2012 by Gdunkman Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Broseph.. you seem like a cool dude with a good head on your shoulders.. and I get where you're coming from. My exW is pregnant with some other dudes kid and they live together. I hate to admit this but my mind STILL contemplates if in the future if there is some way to work around that if things changed. Thats kinda pathetic, honestly.. Somehow, some way you have to break your feelings for this woman. She is toxic and will most likely cause you more pain than happiness in the long run. There have to be attractive, cool women in Montreal? Move forward! Link to post Share on other sites
Aqua066 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Broseph.. you seem like a cool dude with a good head on your shoulders.. and I get where you're coming from. My exW is pregnant with some other dudes kid and they live together. I hate to admit this but my mind STILL contemplates if in the future if there is some way to work around that if things changed. Thats kinda pathetic, honestly.. Somehow, some way you have to break your feelings for this woman. She is toxic and will most likely cause you more pain than happiness in the long run. There have to be attractive, cool women in Montreal? Move forward! Agree with this! You have to run! I know its hard and it sucks, trust me I've gone to hell and back with my ex but sometimes it just isn't worth it. She doesn't respect you and probably never will... how can she when you don't even respect yourself? No person thinking clearly would ever take this girl back. Not in a hundred years! Cut your loses and look down between your legs and man the F up! You deserve a million times more then this girl will ever give you! Don't you see that??!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gdunkman Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Don't you see that??!! I don't know!!! I'm just too confused. Saying no in this situation will leave me with NC as the only possible option, knowing she is just as obsessed with me, as I'm with her, and this time it's me who doesn't use a chance. Anyway we both aren't sure, she may decide not to go from that guy, or we might both decide so. We should wait until the news about her pregnancy, not the least important factor, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Aqua066 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Anyway we both aren't sure, she may decide not to go from that guy, or we might both decide so. We should wait until the news about her pregnancy, not the least important factor, right? Are you kidding me? "We aren't sure? We should wait until the news about her pregnancy?" C'mon man this is exactly what I'm talking about. You need to stand up for yourself. I can't stand seeing dude's get played out like this. YOU need to decide! Not her! Here are the facts. She has left you for another dude at least twice right? She has flirted with other dude's while you were with her. She now may be pregnant from the dude she left you for. Do I need to go on...? This girl is a nightmare and you just have her on a pedestal because she rejected you. I understand you have a deep attraction for her. Hell I still have a deep attraction for my ex (IMO she's the most beautiful girl I know) but it doesn't matter. My ex has some similar traits as your ex and they will never change! You have to put more value on yourself. Have some pride and self confidence. Don't be afraid to be alone and explore a new world without your ex. You'd be surprised how things change once you have some time away from your ex (no contact all the way!) and get yourself back. You're in Montreal for pete's sake! There's a beautiful girl everywhere you look. Remember there are 3 BILLION PLUS girls out there and your ex is just another one. Girls are a dime a dozen. You can and will find a deep attraction for someone else but you got to let this girl go! I think Im done with my rant because its obviously not gonna change anything for you. Looks like you gonna take this girl back no matter how much she shi%s on you. Unfortunately, I don't see this ending well for you... whether she's pregnant with the other dude's baby or not. Good luck either way. Aqua Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gdunkman Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 You are mostly right, and I appreciate your advice. Just a few minor corrections, to be fair. She has left you for another dude at least twice right? Aqua No she dumped me once not for that guy, she met him later. She has flirted with other dude's while you were with her. Aqua She has flirted with other dudes technically after BU, we were just staying together and I was trying to make things work, I left her city the next day, because I couldn't stand her behaviour anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 You are mostly right, and I appreciate your advice. Just a few minor corrections, to be fair. No she dumped me once not for that guy, she met him later. She has flirted with other dudes technically after BU, we were just staying together and I was trying to make things work, I left her city the next day, because I couldn't stand her behaviour anymore. Hey, i followed your posts a bit, i had a bout of gigs and if i recall your ex has too. If you want her back, everytime she does this, go strict nc, she will come out it quicker and learn quicker. If i remember correctly 3 weeks was the longest i was away from him after i came back the first time, im sorry you have to go through this, if you really love her your will make it through it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gdunkman Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 I think Im done with my rant because its obviously not gonna change anything for you. Looks like you gonna take this girl back no matter how much she shi%s on you. Unfortunately, I don't see this ending well for you... whether she's pregnant with the other dude's baby or not. Good luck either way. Aqua Don't worry Aqua, I'm not taking her back. We talked for some time, and I see how little I mean to her. She says she wants to reconcile, but she's not ready to do anything for that. Her now bf acts insane and even made me an offer for both of us to leave her simultaneously, which I rejected, because if she is not with me, I don't really care about who she is with. Let them be together, they are a perfect couple. He knows she wants and loves another guy, and ready to dump him to be with that guy, just don't do so, because she enjoys conditions he offers - careless life on the coast. She knows her bf is ready to dump her if the other guy promises not to take her back. I'm out of this ****. Link to post Share on other sites
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