has anyone else been left for another person?:(

[ohhi]

so when I was sixteen i started dating this guy, we dated for two years and a half years and were completely unseperable, we lived together for a year and we did absolutely everything to be together cuz our parents hated us being together. we fought a lot but i honestly thought we had a relationship like no one elses, i think its safe to say he was my first love. well one day he starts acting really weird and says a few days later he wants nothing to do with me. the next morning he still was ignoring me all day so i showed up at his house and i found a girl hiding in his closet.. it really tore me up I dont think ive ever been that hurt.. well we broke up and kinda stopped talking and the first month i was doing ok but then i started hearing that the girl i found in his closet and him were dating and what not so it made it that much harder

i sent tons of long emails asking him how he could do this to me and he literally said she was better than me and he wants nothing to do with me again

well its been five months since we've broke up and im more hurt than ever about it not only because he left me but because he promised no matter what we would always be friends

i feel like i should hate him but i literally cry about him every day..

i still havent got an apology for him leaving me for another girl

not even a "how are you"

it hurts not being able to talk to my best friend..

i know things are better off with us not together but i just wish we could be friends I cant even text him to see how hes doing.

his best friends have said hes not allowed to talk to me and his new gf is really controlling cuz he doesnt even come around them anymore..

his gf and him are moved in together already, the first month they started dating they moved in together and they got a puppy the second month

it really hurts so bad and i feel like no one understands..

i need some advice, or storys to make me feel like im not alone.

[Gdunkman]

Answering your question - I was left for another person less than two days ago. I'm not going to become her friend, as it will lower my self esteem. It's much easier to pretend she doesn't exist in this world anymore and keep NC, that's the way to heal.

[missy268]

I was left for another girl earlier on in the year, it really really sucks - especially as i did like the guy and we got on well, its not often you meet somebody like that

Anyway, i went NC with him, a week after he got with this girl he was texting and ringing me, i ignored him

I confronted him when i saw him on a night out - he hated it and he grabbed my hand and tried to put his hand around my waist, his girlfriend was in the room - I had never felt so powerful - he still wanted me, not the girlfriend hahahaha! serves him right!

There are days i do miss him - his girlfriend is very controlling, and i did say to him i hope your happy , he kinda stalked me fro a while too

I wish me and him could sit down like adults and talk about things, but it was better left alone 8 months on, yes i miss him, yes i wish i could talk to him and be friends but the girlfriend will not allow it and sometimes being friends doesnt help with the healing xx

[IfiKnewThen]

quote: well its been five months since we've broke up and im more hurt than ever about it not only because he left me but because he promised no matter what we would always be friends

i feel like i should hate him but i literally cry about him every day..

i still havent got an apology for him leaving me for another girl

not even a "how are you"

it hurts not being able to talk to my best friend.."

 

i am much older than you but love lost especially in this manner, hurts terribly at any age. my best friend married someone and i think the loss of the friendship is almost harder. i had the same promise. will always be my friend.

 

now that that has been far removed from my life, its been hard..but does get easier everyday. when someone is in your life like that everyday, day after day...phone calls throughout the day, text, seeing them then nothing. ..it is very shocking and hurtful. you feel so betrayed that they couldnt even keep a promise to be a friend. it almost feels like they should hold our hand and get us through it..because you got through so many things together in the past. now they feel like a stranger or enemy. its horrible i know.

 

but heres what really helped me. i started doing things for myself that they normally did for me and with me so eventually i starting retraining my brain/mind..that i can do things without them. then you have to make yourself happy in just about every scenario you can. (without becoming compulsive) buy something you like. see an old friend. eat something special you love. but again exercise balance...dont over indulge and make it a crutch or habit. but treat yourself. its ok to mourn the loss of your love and friend too.

 

use that information about how he betrayed you for your good too. thank God you didnt have children with him. he could have passed a disease to you. thank God to avoid that. he probably had GIGGS (look that up on LS here). although you love him ..you get to really have a chance to find a better fit. if he did cheat on you chances are he is capable of cheating on her.

 

now that hes with a new person..trust me you dont want to hear..about marriage or babies..not that they are going to be together that way.

 

for the longest time ..i knew if we could be friends ..i could heal better. i still think if he were decent...for me as an individual i def. could have come to terms with it meaning something. he made me feel like a discarded nothing. such a contrast from all the love he said to have had ....

 

it is his lost. someday...(but dont wait)..i feel he will come back to you a sorry person.

 

we all make mistakes..but someday hes got to acknowledge your shock and horror of finding that girl in the closet. and if he doesnt...he is a real loser lost. as i said thank goodness, you found him out now. and even though there are some real profound losses for you...like the friendship you might have once had...there has GOT TO BE someone so much better for you out there. so make yourself be the best you can be. do good things in the world. you will feel better about yourself..and eventually you will God willing attract the RIGHT person

[ohhi]

seriously thank you so much! I just started crying I really appreciate it though its hard to talk about.. so thank you again

[stunned8165]

I was left for her scrawny little boss almost 6 months ago. My story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/

 

That won't last long. I believe she thinks the grass is greener on the other side but thats because it's only over a septic tank.

[shayla]

I was left for another woman that my ex married 2 months later.

 

He cheated on me repeatedly for the entire 3 years we were together. And he cheated on the other woman from the day they met. And i made sure that she knew that before their wedding.

 

I found out later on that I may have been an "other woman" too...apparently he had a girlfriend that he'd had before we met...yeah the same lie he told his now wife...that he'd been with for 12 years. If he was lying and he was with her throughout our relationship, that woman wasted 15 years on that man only to have him marry another woman.

 

Ugh some men have a hole where their heart belongs.

[norajane]

I know you are hurting, but this is a good time to learn something about self-respect: you DO NOT want to be "friends" with someone who has cheated on you. You open yourself up for more hurt and more disrespect when you do that, and you destroy your own self-esteem when you chase someone who decided it is ok to lie and cheat on you. HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND, and he wasn't your friend from the moment he chose to cheat. Friends do not lie and cheat on you.

 

Please get yourself tested for STD's.

 

You will feel better, and more empowered, if you choose that you do not want people in your life who treat others this way. You need to believe that you deserve better than this guy. The good news is, there are LOTS and LOTS of better guys out there.

 

And don't worry. Eventually, he will cheat on his gf, too. Cheaters don't change unless they do some serious work to resolve the character and emotional issues they have that make them believe they are entitled to cheat on people and hurt them for no reason.