mickey90 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 im curently in a long distance relationship with someone who doesn't believe a word I say. to me this little "fight" is silly and childish, but I would love a second opinion. ok, so the other day my boyfriend made a coment being sarcastic and I just decided to bite my tounge and not say one back.. he got mad at me for not telling him the smart ass coment I had thought but didn't put. I told him I just didn't want to fight, then after refusing to tell him i forgot what the coment was that I had thought. now he is saying that im lying about not remembering and keeps telling me I just dont hav the guts to tell him and he told me to grow a pair and not to talk to him until I do. How do I handle this?? Link to post Share on other sites
fallenenvy Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Definitely silly and childish. I don't like people that set you up to pick a fight. You were definitely the bigger person for refusing to respond to his comment. How to handle it? I would say don't.... you arn't the one with the problem. Wait for him to decide to contact you and when he does you can ask if hes over his temper tantrum yet :-) (no thats probably not the right thing to say but thats how it struck me) In all honestly id wait till he chills the hell out and tell him that you felt his response to you avoiding further quarreling was immature and if he doesn't "believe you don't remember what you were thinking" then it is really his problem and not yours. I think i am actually lacking any truly good advice here because ppl that pull crap like that really aggravate the hell out of me. Either way i hope it blows over for you and you realize that you were in the right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickey90 Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 this is only one small problem of all of ours but its nice to have some back up. he never believes anything I say, and is always accusing me of cheating and lying. Any idea on how to get someone to start trusting there girlfriend more?? Link to post Share on other sites
daisydukes Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I understand your situation very,very well because I am dealing with it. My boyfriend got into a fight over cheating which he wouldn't prove even though I saw what my eyes saw and he lied. I want to forgive him but he refuses to even talk to me and is acting like a immature little brat. Link to post Share on other sites
fallenenvy Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Generally men or women accuse their SO of cheating for one of 2 reasons. First, is because they are doing it themselves.. thus.. figure you MUST be and they want the spotlight off of them (or for other twisted reasons they feel its ok to accuse you). Second (as in my case) they have been cheated on before and therefor are VERY weary about it.. which isn't really their fault but at the same time without the trust...you can't very well have a stable relationship. If the second is the case which i would hope for your situation; there isn't a whole heck of a lot you can do about it except be honest... he asks where you are etc. comfort him and tell him... its how my bf has to deal with me... even when i KNOW he isn't doing anything i will jump down his throat with accusations because i have been hurt too many times before by being trusting. I know it sucks.. and the insecurity should really be his problem but when you are in a relationship it becomes yours as well. You can either try to make him feel comfortable and secure enough with the relationship to knock it off or give it up and let it go. Ultimately it is something he has to come to terms with himself and realize that you arn't out doing the naughty with someone else even though all too often that constant lack of faith can end up ironically enough making a person stray. Link to post Share on other sites
nixa Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 im curently in a long distance relationship with someone who doesn't believe a word I say. to me this little "fight" is silly and childish, but I would love a second opinion. ok, so the other day my boyfriend made a coment being sarcastic and I just decided to bite my tounge and not say one back.. he got mad at me for not telling him the smart ass coment I had thought but didn't put. I told him I just didn't want to fight, then after refusing to tell him i forgot what the coment was that I had thought. now he is saying that im lying about not remembering and keeps telling me I just dont hav the guts to tell him and he told me to grow a pair and not to talk to him until I do. How do I handle this?? If you didn't want to fight, why did you tell him that you had a sarcastic, smartass comment that you were refraining from making? Link to post Share on other sites
daisydukes Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Neither of those scenarios are true for me. I have never been cheated nor would I ever cheat on my significant other. I had evidence:sick: First he lied and changed his stories. Second he was texting another women while I was in the car saying he would be right there sure it could of been innocent but why make up 2 lies? I confront him about cheating and he is taken aback and says I would never never do that and fumes the whole ride home and drops me off and hasn't spoken to me in several days and refuses to deal with this situation even though it is his fault! Now tell me who is wrong?? Me for bringing it up when I saw him texting another woman and asking about cheating or him because he is totally innocent and me having the nerve to ask?? Link to post Share on other sites
fallenenvy Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Daisy, I wasn't referring to a person actually having evidence as you mentioned. My scenarios were based on a complete lack of any reason to believe the person is cheating as well as a constant nagging from the SO on the fact (based on what the OP said and assuming she gives him no reasons to think shes cheating etc) In what you said daisy it seemed like you are not constantly nagging and merely mentioning something based on tangible evidence. You arn't wrong for questioning it when you catch him in a lie and if he is actually "innocent" he should understand your concern and suspicion. i HATE liars and have dated several. You catch them in one.. and i swear they act like you described to the T. Link to post Share on other sites
daisydukes Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Thank you Fallen. I got confused but I am glad you understand:) I knew if he was indeed innocent he wouldn't of made such a case about it and would of been understanding. Anyways back to OT sorry for changing subjects lol Link to post Share on other sites
fallenenvy Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 its all good. liars often have an ability to make a mountain out of a molehill when caught. I think it once again has something to do with getting the spotlight off of them. I hope your situation works out for the best... but liars very seldom (if ever) change their ways....anyway.... OP you had any luck with him talking to you or decided on your course of action Link to post Share on other sites
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