jordjones Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 One of my best friends is a 25 yo girl I used to date in high school. We went to college on opposite ends of the country, but always remained in touch. About a year ago, she started a job and began to speak of a 55 yo man who was a co-worker. She initially described him as a "country bumpkin" but as time went on she described him as a "father-figure." Her dad died when she was very young. They started to hang out often, and I know that on multiple occasions they have gone on trips together. She is very thin and cute. He is very big, not attractive, and doesn't really have any money. But to my knowledge, he pays for most everything when they go out together. She swears that nothing has been sexual between the two, but I have begun to wonder. I don't have any interest in her romantically, but have her best interests at heart. It seems extremely odd that she spends so much time with him and even goes on trips with him. It also seems that she isn't dating other guys, though she indicates that she is single. Is a platonic father-daughter relationship like this possible? Link to post Share on other sites
WordvAction Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 You're really going to tell me that you have no feelings for this girl? I find that very hard to believe. Anyway, it may be possible from her standpoint. As for him, I definitely believe he wants to turn it into something more if he hasn't already Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I'd bet 100-1 he is hitting it The signs are all there.. trips, he is buying everything.. no way in hell he is just being an ATM to her... Let her live her life.. nothing you can say or do will change her mind about what she is involved in.. By the way.. she knows how YOU feel about her and won't tell you that it has gotten sexual because she values your friendship and knows it will hurt your feelings... also.. Maybe now it's possibly time for you to alter how you feel about her... Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I lost my father at an early age too. So, I also gravitate toward father figures but a vacation together has yet to enter the picture. They may not be horsing around--but one of two things is happening: 1) He wants to and she's putting it off to reap the rewards of his attention. 2) He's resistant to a sexual relationship but she's trying to wear him down. I vote for #1. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 """platonic father-daughter relationship""" Can we not just seek and maintain a society in which that phrase is redundant???? How about it, people???? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Does her mom know that she goes away with him? There's not much you can do, it's her life.. Just be a friend to her and if things go south between them, then be there for her. Not sure if you should say anything to her about it, she may react defensively. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jordjones Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'm pretty sure that her mom has met the guy. I also think that on a few, but not all, of the trips the old man has taken his 19 yo son along too. Yes, I have some feelings for her, but I view her more like a sister. When I share this story with friends, most say something is up...until they look at pictures of the old man and girl...then everyone is like no way. I just want her to date guys who are eligible bachelors. The age isn't even the big factor - this guy weighs well over 250 lbs. and to the best of my knowledge has no money. Another interesting detail...she claims to be going through a celibate stage; saying she hasn't fooled around in a long time. It's all very weird to me. Link to post Share on other sites
WordvAction Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Jord, I think you have deeper feelings for her than you know. And yeah, I've used to excuse "I see her as a sister before to cover up these feelings". Truth is, this girl may be drawn to this man for some reason. Is it possible that she sees him as just a father figure? Possible. Is it possible he sees her as a daughter? Absolutely not. You have two options here: First, you can constantly be there for her throughout all of her relationships and when they end and endure countless nights of emotional pain, and in the end she MAY fall for you. Or you can stop focusing on this girl and what she does and focus on yourself. I think this is what you really need, and the type of person most girls gravitate to anyway. IMHO, I think you're too concerned about her than yourself. You need to change this if you ever want a chance at finding someone (be it this girl or someone else) Link to post Share on other sites
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