wilsonx Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I figured I would spice up this forum a bit and post some dating fun and let other people critique my conversations I have been having. There are 3 things I look for 1)Someone is cute 2)They have self esteem 3)They have their own goals... I usually ask them if they have a bucket list I have been talking to this one girl for a week and day 1 I said, I am only looking for a friend and have fun and date right now. I'm not emotionally available to jump into a long term relationship. Its true I'm not. This is day 1 I met this one girl on Saturday but after having talking to her, my gut was telling me she is lacking #2 and #3. I am pretty sure shes in rebound mode if I had to take a guess at it. She's hiding her feelings pretty well about things. Tonight we were talking and she lays a trap and I spot it and step right in it on purpose to get a reaction out of her. I was telling her one of the wise how to overcome ones fear / mental block of rejection. She: You sound like my coworker Me: Smart person.... She: She is that Me: Is she single? She: As a matter of fact she is want her screen name. Me: lol in that case sure why not gotta keep my options open She: Wooooooooooow Me: What? She: Not a thing Me: No what She: Nothing at all Me: Not acceptable... you gave a reaction..l.why the reaction She: I dont know it just wasnt what I was expecting But if you hold on I would be more thean happy to get her name I need thicker skin or better wine Me: If you insist She: Ok word to the wise, we all keep the "options open" thought in back of mind but you dont mention it to someone you are currently talking to. Me: You could ask if I was joking or being serious She: Im sorry its just not that funny Me: I dont know what to say (I lied here, I know exactly what I wanted to say I was going to repeat her line when she said "I need thicker skin" her instinct is telling her that but her mind/feelings are overrunning what her gut is telling her and she took offense to it) She: Lets just call it a night before things get worse So I want others to critique this for fun, tell me your opinions on this conversation. She told me that she was 3 glasses deep in wine too Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 What exactly was your goal? To end things or make her trap backfire? I know you did it intentionally, but I'm just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I was just having fun and being honest. I said what I meant Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Seems like she tested you with the single friend thing and clearly was hoping that you'd simply say no thanks. Seems very insecure from all that - maybe been hurt very recently and has serious trust issues, but instead of discussing them, plays little "testing" games like this. So, did you get the info about the single friend? Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 i agree with Smudge. that sounds like a line i would have pulled back when my self-esteem was very low. it sounds like she was fishing, trying to get an idea of how you feel about her. when she should have just come out and asked. i've learned never to play games like that. they come across as lame and desperate. which i'm sure she isn't. but that's exactly how she sounded based on that scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) My guy: "so I'm thinking of growing a beard. Thoughts?" Me: "If you want one, go for it" My guy: "I feel like it makes men respect me more, but I lose sex appeal with women" Me: "well, I guess the question is what is more important in your life right now, respect from men or attention from women". My guy: "true" ...(time elapses).."But I still want you to find me attractive" Me: "oh, I'll tell you if I don't like it, but I'm not so shallow as to stop liking you over a beard". My guy: "good. I think I'll stop shaving in a couple weeks" Me: "Nice. And if other women think its unattractive, then that's a plus for me! :)" There was more to it, but that's the gist. Did I get upset that he keeps thw opinions of other women in mind? No. Was he testing the jealousy and insecurity waters? Maybe. I just gave him honest responses. I would never make it known I am upset and then say "oh, nothing". That's useless.If he actually goes to chase another woman down, that's another story. If you're playing with insecure or emotionally immature women, then they aren't going to be so direct. You caught her off guard even though you were honest about your intentions. 90% of the time the woman will end up wanting more than you. 100% of the time the woman doesn't want to be f#cked with. Asking about a friend or a coworker, even in a joking manner would give me bad vibes. I'd be gone, but then again.. we aren't looking for the same thing Wine or no wine, I'd move on if I were you, for both of your sakes. Keep having fun Wilson, but don't go breaking any hearts! Edited November 22, 2011 by ScienceGal Link to post Share on other sites
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